Victoria Mary Plum

A little bit of nothing

2011-11-13T19:06:00.002Z

I suppose as life plods on as normal I find I have very little to write about. A boring blog now I suppose but I find it kind of therapeutic to write from time to time, and it reminds me of things I have done, and photo's I have taken!

Currently my in-laws are visiting, arrived yesterday and will leave on Friday. It's always nice to see them, really! They have gone out to London tonight with B to a gig, not my sort of music so I have stayed home. I have just finished watching Aliens and will shortly be starting Alien3 (cubed) to tide me over until the X-Factor results show (I know, what am I watching....).

The latest foster cat and her kittens are doing well. Maya had 5 kittens, 2 boys and 3 girls. I decided on a Battlestar Galactica theme this time and we have Kara (aka Starbuck), Laura, Athena, Helo and Apollo. They are very cute and again I want to keep them all!! We still have Bonnie from the previous litter - she now has a home to go to but I couldn't leave her out in the pen all on her own when the others went. The pen was also needed for Maya who was in a dangerous situation at home and needed bringing into care asap so I decided to bring her into the house. It is against the CP rules of fostering, but as she was born here and had her vaccinations, flea and worm treatment I went for it. She is a lovely, lovely kitten and will be missed when she goes.

Things have been good on the MS front. Recently my mood has started to impact on me again and I find that a hugely hard thing to, well, deal with/justify - not sure how to describe it really. Most days are good days, I look forward to things in life and enjoy life. There are however times that I feel like crying, often doing so, and think that I would rather not live this life. There are several problems with this feeling. I am well aware that I am healthy and have no reason to feel how I feel - I therefore feel guilty that I feel this way. I also have huge amounts of love and support around me and get huge amounts of enjoyment out of my life - so why do I sometimes hate the thought of carrying on like this for decades to come?

However much I hate feeling like this there are still times when I wish I could curl up in a little ball in the corner and stay there as drumming up the enthusiasm to go to work, or go out after work (etc) seems too much. I always do get up and go about my business though, as I can and should. In an effort to try and establish what I am feeling and maybe why, I have booked a counselling session at the local MS Therapy Centre. I had counselling there a couple of years ago and found it helpful. Just to talk things over really......

Part of me says don't post this blog, what are people going to think - doesn't know how lucky she is probably........ I do, I just need bring that to the fore again.:0)

More kittens!!

2011-11-02T21:31:00.002Z

Kittens and holiday

2011-09-27T19:45:00.002+01:00

I've just been on holiday! Not that I remember being on holiday, we only got back on Friday but it all seems a very long time ago..... We went to Greece - Zante. Our self catering apart hotel was 10 mins from the airport, so no long transfers (and very little in the way of aircraft noise) which was great. Apparently it was unusually hot at around 30 degrees and the aircon was 'quite' expensive so we managed without. On the Tuesday we had the most spectacular thunderstorm which meant we had to stay in for the day - no hardship as the apartment was spacious and relatively comfortable - and then it cooled down a bit to 26/27 degrees. We basically did nothing for the week and came back very relaxed and rested!

We got back to find my Mum and Dad dropping off Orion, Maia and Pepsi who had stayed with them and the kittens in the pen (who had been fed by a local CP committee member) had grown up loads and were all big and steady on their feet - I must get some photos of them up on the website.

Maia and Orion, especially Orion, have also grown loads - they are looking like proper little cats rather than kittens. Orion has already has his op and Maia just needed to put on a little weight before she could have hers so should be ok now. Once that is done we can start leaving them out - they are always desperate to get outside :0)

I am falling in love with the kittens outside. Wispa is a lovely little kitten and would dearly love to come and live with our family. I am told he is not allowed to come and live with us. I have however advised B that should Wispa decide living here is the way forward I will not be stopping him!! B seems to think he has some say in the matter....!!! The other kittens are all lovely as well, they all seem very confident and are into everything, especially Katie who is fast and naughty! Bonnie, the littlest one is also very sweet. She hasn't yet caught up with the rest and I would guess that it may be because she misses meal times sleeping!!

MS wise things are similar to normal. My legs have been dodgy since the Great British Beer Festival, worsening gradually until we went on holiday when things seem to have improved slightly. I'd guess, again, not new inflammation but worse than I have had before in the top of my legs. Strange feeling of stiffness without any restriction or pain on movement but I couldn't walk quickly or I would just get slower and feel like I was going to trip over my feet - missed a bus due to that....

Still, things seem to be getting better, not perfect but better!

Kitten pictures to follow at some point!

New arrivals!

2011-08-13T19:43:00.005+01:00

So, on Sunday the day after we got back from the beer festival I had an email letting me know my pen was needed for another cat. I got straight back to the Welfare Officer and said no problem, it was ready and waiting to go. The information I had was that a 2-3 year old pregnant female, due in approx 1 week needed to come in - very exciting!

The people who had been feeding the cat for some time, and had already dealt with 1 litter of kittens, couldn't continue to have her around as the dog didn't like her and the family found keeping the dog, cat and kittens separate quite stressful. On the Monday the Welfare Officer gave me the contact details and we arranged for the lady to bring the cat round that evening. Well, Scarlett didn't go back for food until quite late and it wasn't until Tuesday that I had the call to say that the family had her. I called back to say I was in and they could bring her round and I was told that she was in labour....! A mad dash followed and she was with me 30 mins or so later!

Scarlett was panting but settled down and didn't seem about to pop which was reassuring. Over the next day she didn't eat and didn't do a lot so I guessed she was near to popping and when we got back from the pub Wednesday night I heard pitiful squeaking - there was a kitten! I stuck my head in and saw a little black and white kitten all on its own and Scarlett not really interested. I moved the kitten and then left them to it. When I went back later I realised there was more than 1 kitten, maybe 2 or 3 but as it was dark and they were dark I didn't know for sure.

The next morning when I went down to inspect there were 5 kittens, all looking like they were doing well and Scarlett eating for all 5 of them!

So we have a Scarlett O'Hara theme going on for 4 of the temporary names:

Rhett (boy, black)

Ella (girl, black)

Bonnie (girl, tabbly/white)

Katie (girl, black/white)

and Wispa (boy, chocolate brown)

I have to say that I was slightly nervous about having a pregnant cat and the cat giving birth but it all went smoothly and she needed no help at all! It's such a privilege to be involved with these kittens from the very beginning!

Kittens and Beer

2011-08-08T19:04:00.003+01:00

How useless am I?? I didn't realise that it has been well over a month since I wrote. I think it's being married that does it, I don't get huge amounts of time to myself to blog any more....

Maia and Orion have now been with us 6 weeks, making them around 15 weeks old. They are little terrors - I had forgotten how destructive kittens are! The net curtain is no longer at the front window, photo frames are either broken or on the floor and there is litter everywhere. On the plus side there has been no real agro with Pepsi. There was hissing and a little boxing of ears but on the whole things have gone well so far!

We have just got back from our annual visit to the CAMRA Great British Beer Festival. We worked Thursday, drank Friday and worked Saturday. We worked behind beer bar W1 both days and had a good time - not huge amounts of time for beer drinking, unlike Reading where you can keep a beer ready to swig from under the bar..... Still, well worth volunteering - free entry to 1 session, discounted beer vouchers and staff t-shirts! They also pay up to £30 per person towards accommodation which was £28 / night at the Etap Hotel in Houslow - bargain!!

Catch-up

2011-06-25T23:42:00.000+01:00

It's been a while. I wasn't sure what to write. The sudden death of Whisky, our male cat was hard to write about. The shortest I can put it is that Whisky became ill on the Friday, we took him to the vets Saturday morning and they couldn't find anything wrong and sent him home with an anti-emetic. Sunday I rang the VetsNow clinic and we took him in a little later, they admitted him for tests with a very low temperature and a little while later we found out that he was in acute renal failure. Whisky was later referred to the Royal Veterinary College where they tried to get his kidneys working but at noon on Monday the 16th May Whisky was put to sleep. We will never know what exactly happened to Whisky but he is likely to have been poisoned by something - felt unlikely to be anti-freeze poisoning due to his presentation. I have glossed over the weekend really, gut wrenching, are good words to describe it, there were lots of tears and sadness, but mainly I didn't want him to suffer.

Whisky left a huge hole, it's amazing how much we, I, miss the cheeky, idiotic, sweet personality of our little boy cat. Pepsi and Whisky were very different personalities and now that he is gone the differences are all the more obvious.

Having been asked on a couple of occasions whether we will get another cat we have taken the decision to adopt a 9 week old brother and sister. We know that mixing Pepsi and the new kittens will be difficult but as she will be the elder cat in the family we are hoping that they get on eventually...

Maia (tortie/white) and Orion (ginger) (star theme) will be joining us tomorrow (Sunday), we have made plans to ensure the cats are separated when we are not there initially and Pepsi will be allowed upstairs overnight - assuming she doesn't jump on my head!!

Other news, well also the 16 May was our 2nd wedding anniversary - needless to say it went by without acknowledgement (on the day), although we had gone out for a meal at Loch Fyne on the Friday before we knew Whisky was ill.

I have also had my annual appointment with Dr Weir my neurologist. He thinks that although I had a relapse in September/October when my face went numb I am doing well and that things have been quiet. I am therefore destined to stay on Rebif injections instead of tablets..... I know, it's a good thing, I am not bad enough to warrant changing anything, but tablets would be good!!

RIP Whisky 07.07.08 - 16.05.11

2011-05-17T19:02:00.003+01:00

Alternative Vote

2011-05-04T17:51:00.003+01:00

As it is the voting for the AV Referendum tomorrow I thought I would add this to the site. I think it is quite cool as I like beer and wouldn't want coffee!!

Let's AV a beer!

Beer Festival

2011-04-30T14:35:00.003+01:00

It's been a busy few days despite having the week off! We have started on the vegetable patch, done some other gardening, worked at the 17th Reading CAMRA Beer Festival, drunk at the same beer festival and headed off for more work at the beer festival last night! I have to say Friday was a cabbage day. I got up reasonably early having woken and proceeded to sit on the sofa the vast majority of the day, I also went to bed early having been sat up in bed waiting for my reflux to settle down...... Eventually I woke B as I know he has tablets to help that and 30 minutes later I was able to lie down again, ah well, combination of beer and curry Thursday evening....

Last night was really good. We signed up at short notice and we were asked to Steward. I said yes to the whole session and B agreed to half and half, 2 hours Stewarding and 2 hours beer bar - you can't drink the beer while you are a Steward..... I was almost regretting my decision as I wasn't working with B and I wouldn't be able to drink beer but by the end I had had a really good time, been told I was a natural and then had a beer afterwards!

Niki's Trekathon

2011-04-13T18:48:00.003+01:00

A friend of mine, and an ex colleague, sets herself a challenge each year and has done so since her MS diagnosis in 2003. These challenges have ranged from overcoming a severe relapse to enjoy her wedding, to having children. Niki describes this challenge as 'pushing a bit further' - I have to say I think raising two children has got to be the hugest challenge for anyone, but then I wouldn't know!! This year Niki has set herself the challenge of a 26 mile Trekathon raising funds for the MS Society. Check out Niki’s blog post about the challenge she has set herself, and go straight to her fundraising page if you fancy donating some pennies to this cause.

My poor nose....

2011-04-07T17:09:00.004+01:00

I have just updated my 'Symptoms Log', I used to list everything on a regular basis, making sure everything was noted and up to date. It seems less important now, I am not going through the process of getting diagnosed, I seem to be doing ok on Rebif so I'm not after any different drugs (although lets face it tablets instead of injections would be nice.....) and nothing much ever happens :0) I do make notes in my diary so I can keep an eye on changes, mainly so I make sure I contact my MS Nurse and get a UTI check if something goes on for too long. I do then transfer any events on to my list - I think I just like lists!!

I realised the other day that I am still writing down injection sites and time of injection every time I inject - I remember talking to someone I met fairly early on who told me I'd give up with that after a while and I absolutely thought I would but I need a reminder of what side I'm on! B injects my bottom for me and just injects into an area which is not red from a site reaction - mine last over a week so he can tell which side it should be - and I inject my thigh and stomach according to my injection diary. Stomach Monday, thigh Wednesday and bottom Friday! Having said that I am using my bingo wings at the moment (arms) as my thighs seem to be permanently bruised..... My left thigh has been sore for a while, 4 months or so at a guess and I have just noticed my right thigh is also sore, I am hoping giving them a break will help but it is getting closer to short sleeve weather and I get lovely red injection reactions on my arms as well as everywhere else :0( Maybe I should speak to my MS Nurse about it......

So, this round:

Flare due to cold (at a guess…)

Went away for the weekend 25-28 March and ended up extremely tired despite being able to relax and get plenty of sleep.

28/03/11 – right eye pain on movement and slight change in sensation to left hand. Symptoms continued intermittently all week alongside exhaustion.
03/04/11 (mother’s day) – symptoms above continue, twinge in the back of throat. Tiredness lifting.
04/04/11 ongoing – sore throat developed Mon – Wed, right eye pain on movement became constant, mild vision change on walking and left hand change in sensation became more noticeable. Tired but not too tired. Wed night started to feel unwell and Thurs off work feeling unwell and very tired – again….

I love the fact that as my cold started to come out I started to feel less tired and I didn't really feel ill for the first few days of bad throat and strange voice but last night and today I am feeling pretty grotty...... I have been home all day, either on the sofa with my slanket or in bed, missing out on the gorgeous sunshine, and have 'watched' a lot of TV and snoozed. Hopefully B will be home soon with my supplies - Ultrabalm tissues (my poor nose), Lemsip, chocolate and cookies (given the lack of alcohol I have calories to spare!!).

Pah....

2011-04-05T17:38:00.002+01:00

So I woke up this morning with a mildly sore throat, a hacking cough, a sore right eye and about as tired as I was when I went to bed..... Great..... Still I didn't do too badly today courtesy of Blackcurrent Lemsip - not sure I would have got through this morning without a Lemsip!!

Eye Pain

2011-04-04T18:09:00.003+01:00

Last weekend, well 25 to 28 March, B and I went away for his parent's Wedding Anniversary. We had a really nice weekend, didn't do very much and ate too much! Anyway, since then I have been really tired, I have had eye pain on movement on and off and I have had a change in sensation to my left hand. Worst - I haven't felt like drinking alcohol since the 28 March....!!

I had to have a Google about the eye pain as I assumed ON always had visual loss, now I know it isn't necessarily ON but apparently it is possible to have ON without visual disturbance. Given that my eye hurts when I move it around I am going to say my previous ON inflammation is being irritated but my tiredness. Oh, I forget, I also have a scritchy throat, I am therefore going to blame everything on that!

Sootie has been to the vets twice now. He was an entire male so he went in for neutering, vaccinations, chipping and the rest of the MOT all at the same time. He is apparently healthy and approximately 5 years old. He had to have an upper canine tooth removed and had already lost one so only has 2 but he eats ok! He is still very scared but still likes a good scratch and tickle behind the ears!!

'Sootie'

2011-03-20T09:48:00.003Z

We had a new cat dropped off on Thursday. At this stage I don't even know what sex this cat is due to the fact it is absolutely petrified..... I have stroked it and scratched under the chin but you can see it physically shaking most of the time. My gut feeling is that it is a male and I have been putting off naming it but I think Sootie works for male or female so I think I am going to go with that!

One of the welfare officers came round with a microchip scanner on Saturday and it has no chip. I gave it a flea spot on as well - guessing from the scratching that fleas were present.....

Sootie had been sleeping in someone's living room over night for about 3 months but was not getting on with one of their cats. Given the state of the cat I think it's probably a good thing they brought it in (had to trap it) - a little underweight but I think possibly a flea allergy or other skin condition. So it will be off to the vets next week for an 'MOT'.

Intermittent symptoms

2011-03-17T19:32:00.003Z

As a general rule I don't have a lot in the way on ongoing symptoms, in fact most of the residual symptoms I have I don't notice on a day to day basis because I have had them for long enough it is 'normal'. For instance I am pretty sure that your hands, feet and lower legs aren't supposed to mildly tingle all the time, but I only notice when I am thinking about it.

My query today is, are those little aches and pains related to MS or does everyone get them? On a couple of occasions now I have been driving home from work and developed an uncomfortable ache in my left leg which remained when I got out of the car and until I eventually fell asleep (with the help of amitriptyline) - I am assuming this is a neurological ache as it's not quite pain. I also get pains in my hands from time to time and some transient numbness on my torso. I tend to put these things down to MS but are they just a normal process of wear and tear - I know 30 isn't old but it is still 30 years of use!

On the subject of being 30, I am trying to think of a birthday present list. I need a new alarm clock so that's on there. I think I will also add 'fire pit' so B and I can stay outside later in the summer - always wanted one of those.

On the migraine front, a couple of days after my Coke Zero post I had a migraine. 2am following half a bottle of red wine - I am blaming it on the red wine and will now reduce my intake on any one evening....... :0(

Coke Zero

2011-03-05T17:17:00.002Z

Following on from my migraine post it has now been around 2 weeks since I reintroduced caffeine on a daily basis. So far, touch wood, I have not had a migraine. Since just before Christmas I would estimate that I have averaged one migraine a week so having not had one for a couple of weeks I am hoping I have identified the problem, hoping!

George has now gone, he was picked up yesterday to go to his new home. He was adopted by a couple with 2 young children and they also adopted Ollie, another CP cat so George will have plenty of company! I will miss George - it was love at first sight - but he was always going to find it easy to get a new home.

George

2011-02-20T18:35:00.002Z

How cute is George?? Apparently I am not allowed to keep him...... :0(

Migraines

2011-02-20T18:00:00.002Z

For almost a year I was blissfully migraine free.....

I have always suffered with headaches, I always say since 12 as I remember taking some paracetamol on my way to school prior to having a horrible headache in a French lesson in my first year at secondary school. As I got older they got worse and by the time I went to University I was regularly having headaches which disrupted my life. One summer holiday I went to my GP who advised that what I was describing sounded like migraines and prescribed a prophylactic medication (not sure what). When I went back to Uni my GP there took me off both the prophylactic and the contraceptive pill.

Whilst on my placement year at British Airways 2001/02) I worked out that I generally had migraines when I had eaten dairy products so went more or less dairy free - reducing the number of migraines I was having significantly.

Nothing really helped the migraines but when I had one I would generally be able to sleep them off until in 2004 suddenly nothing would help and a migraine ran into the next day and caused me to be unable to go to work (ambulance service). I went to my GP, who was very helpful and reassuring and I was prescribed sumatriptan (Imigran).

With the sumatriptan and my eventual completely dairy free diet I managed my migraines successfully until January 2007 when I had the relapse that led to my MS diagnosis in May 2007. After that things just progressed. I went from taking approximately 12 sumatriptan tablets a year to taking almost 12 in a month by 2008. Eventually I discussed the migraines with my neurologist and MS Nurse and was offered a prophylactic medication. I didn't take up the offer until things got silly in approx September 2008.

I started on topiramate and then tried amitriptyline, neither of which helped (although amitriptyline is great for sleeping!!). Propranolol was the next drug. I started on 160mg with no benefit but once I was on 320mg a day I stopped having migraines - wonderful! I had a couple over the year but it was such a relief to stop having 2 or 3 a week......

Before Christmas I had a few migraines but I put that down to overindulging, now things have continued and I have used 6 sumatriptan tablets since I picked up a new prescription mid January. It is sooo disappointing to be having migraines again especially as the migraines are more intrusive than my MS..... So the questions are - does the efficacy of propranolol as a migraine prophylactic wear off and has anything changed?

I don't seem to be able to find the answer to my first question, however my second one I considered this morning and thought of something. Up to just before Christmas I used to drink at least 1 can of coke zero a day, maybe 2, now I drink caffeine free diet coke almost exclusively and don't have any other drinks with caffeine in them. I am now going to start drinking coke zero again and see what happens - maybe stopping so suddenly caused a reaction, maybe the caffeine helps the propranolol work - I hope it'll help anyway.......

Busy busy!!

2011-01-29T09:09:00.003Z

It's been a while, the time just goes doesn't it...... B and I have been up to a few bits and pieces over the last couple of weeks.

I'll start with the current house guest - and I volunteered for this....... Daisy is a long term foster cat which basically means that she permanently lives with someone but Cats Protection Reading East pick up the medical bills. Daisy's long term fosterer became ill around 3 weeks ago requiring a short stay in hospital. She has been home about a week now but caught a bug and ended up with a chest infection so we have kept Daisy whilst she recovers. When I volunteered to take Daisy it was because the CP Welfare officer was having trouble thinking of where to place her. Daisy has diabetes managed by caninsulin injections twice a day and as she also has arthritis it was felt an indoor fosterer was best. Well Daisy and I haven't got on from the start and we generally have a tantrum every injection...... Eventually I moved Daisy into the pen as the room we have is no longer particularly suitable for cats, especially one needing a regular injection.

Once in the pen Daisy started eating properly and we got into a better routine with the injections, she did however start urinating in her sleeping area and I noticed her urine smelled sweet - hyperglycaemia - I thought. So when I got an email that night (8 days after we got Daisy) advising that she also had hyperthyroidism I got onto Google and found out that the 2 conditions interact and that the untreated hyperthyroid was likely to be worsening the diabetic control...... So vets the next evening - I got mildly told off for giving Daisy an extra unit of insulin, although I think he worked out I didn't do it with absolutely no knowledge, and the urine dipstick noted the presence of pretty much anything that shouldn't be in urine - UTI and hyperglycaemia, so if the hyperthyroid wasn't buggering Daisy's sugar levels the UTI will have done.

So Daisy got an anti-biotic shot and some tablets for her thyroid. Daisy has stopped urinating unexpectedly seems to be much better in herself. We still have tantrums every injection time and now a tablet has been added to the mix. Daisy went to the vets for the weekend last weekend and was apparently very well behaved and purring - she really really doesn't like me.....

Hopefully Daisy should be going home tomorrow where she can be happy and comfortable again!

The reason for our weekend away was The National Winter Ales Festival held in Manchester 19 - 22 January. We went up by train on the Thursday evening arriving at the Premier Inn that we had booked at around 22:45 and then headed off for the Beer Festival after a Weatherspoon's breakfast on the Friday. We were there, ready and waiting for the opening and set up camp for the afternoon at a table. We ate at a Chinese restaurant called Yang Sing after the festival and then had some more drinks in the Weatherspoon's before heading back. On Saturday we mooched around Manchester, went on the Manchester wheel thing and drank more beer! We ate at a place called Swadesh Saturday night and we were both really impressed by the food - excellent meal! The train home was a bit short on working toilets but compared to driving it was a good option!

We have also been busy at home rearranging the furniture, although we really need to be busy hanging pictures and finishing off other decorating tasks - a bit useless that we haven't done so yet really!

MS wise I am now taking regular Movicol for my bowels, seems to be helping to an extent, now to try and get into a better routine. Definitely finding going a bit easier now though. I have been a bit snotty and tired the last couple of days and this morning I have woken up with a mild sore throat. Strangely enough now the cold is coming out I actually feel a bit better, but we will see how I feel later! I have a reasonably busy day today with an RLSS Branch Exec Meeting this afternoon and a concert this evening - perfect timing!

Morning....

2011-01-01T00:46:00.002Z

Happy New Year to all!! I am currently sitting eating 3 day old prawn crackers and watching Jooles Holland to see in the New Year - it's quite a good way as far as I am concerned! I have booze, snacks and my hubby!!

Love to all and hope you all have a prosperous New Year!! XXX

2010-12-18T10:14:00.004Z

Blimey, it's been over a month! Bad me!!

Since my last post what has happened?? Not a lot! I have had a mild flare of symptoms with the cold weather - usual sensory change in my legs so no bother and I have been on 3 Christmas meals!

Our first Christmas meal was on the 1st December - nice early start!! It was the pub quiz Christmas meal so dinner then a quiz! Considering the price Weatherspoons did a really good job! The second was my band Christmas lunch - this was at the Best Western Reading Moat House - it was the best Christmas meal (out) that I have ever had! The food was well cooked, was hot and was tasty!! Very good value for money as well at £15 for 3 courses!

The final meal was yesterday and was my work Christmas lunch - again, very nice for the price! I chickened out and left early as I had been told of snow in the Reading area and it was also reported to be the evening of the big Christmas get away so didn't want to get stuck. I think a few people were out late though!

Today it is snowing - I am supposed to be playing in Christmas Concerts today and am waiting to hear if they are going ahead. At the moment I would head out but as it has just got heavier again I will wait and see before I commit! Will do my best to go if they decide that it is going to go ahead.

Pub Quiz

2010-11-04T17:50:00.002Z

I went to the local Wednesday Weatherspoons pub quiz last night. I hadn't been before as I had always felt too tired. Now as part of my new regime I have decided to add it into my routine. It isn't every week so should be easy!

One of the regular pub quiz goers is our friend with MS - I think it will take some time before we get used to talking to each other about it. I think I am a lot happier to talk about it than her and I need to remember that.

I don't think I had mentioned my renewed fish tank enthusiasm? Well, we have new residents in the quarantine tank who should be moving into their new home on Saturday. I will then go to the fish shop and purchase some more new fish. Can't wait for it to be back up to full strength again!

Appointment

2010-11-01T17:16:00.002Z

I went for my MS Nurse appointment this afternoon. My usual nurse is on maternity leave so I expected to see her cover, however I saw the other MS Nurse who I have only ever seen at MS Society information evenings. She was really nice, although I am looking forward to seeing my usual nurse when she gets back in January.

We discussed my bowels and I have to write a food and drink diary and go back in a month or so to discuss it. I most definitely will damage my bowels if I strain on a regular basis, oops..... We also talked about my numbish face and she reminded me to keep them informed of exacerbations/relapses so they can monitor my response to the Rebif. Oh and blood test due in December - lucky me!

Bean

2010-10-30T17:37:00.003+01:00

We have a new Cats Protection lodger! Bean is a slightly lardy, long haired, cocoa coloured male and is extremely friendly! I named him Bean as he is the spitting image of my Mum's cat Cocoa only somewhat larger!

Bean was being looked after as a stray for approx 7 weeks before he came to CP. He is about 8 years old, give or take and was in pretty good nick. He had a few mats of fur, very dirty ears and a tick.....yes a tick, very icky......

Bean is an entire male and needs to be neutered and micro-chipped before he can be re-homed so we will have him for a couple of weeks at least. He is out in our new CP provided pen and seems to be happy enough. The pen has heating tubes and a comfortable bed so a trade off with freedom. We have a little water leaking in to the pen from the underneath but we are working on that.

On a change of tack, my current relapse has not really changed. I still have the change in sensation to the left side of my face and gums but nothing more.

My plan is taking shape, I am managing to go to bed around 10pm most nights and cope all week which is great! I am playing my clarinet, well I am playing a loaned clarinet as mine is in for service - pad fell off at rehearsal and is therefore unplayable.... Took it into Dawkes today and they don't think it is as bad as I had imagined so I hope to have it back by Thursday. I have also lost 5.5 pounds over 2 weeks which is a good start to the new diet - Slimming World. I have yet to go into the local Sports Centre to get a price list and timetable - must do so soon......

Oh, I came across this blog on the BBC website - Tor - Past the Point of No Return - and felt it deserved a read. Tor has Cystic Fibrosis and has been waiting for a double lung transplant since July 2007, she is now 23. Tor is trying to highlight the need for people to sign the Organ Donor register if they are happy to donate their organs on their death, rather than doing nothing. Have a look, sign up, it takes 2 minutes.

What constitutes a relapse......?

2010-10-10T11:09:00.005+01:00

......one of those regular questions on MS message boards. A bit like my 'what is fatigue' question I suppose. My neuro's thoughts at my last appointment were that when I have numbness I am experiencing memories of previous relapses rather than new inflammation - good no extra damage then.

I am assuming however that when brand new areas go numb I have a new area of inflammation. Disappointingly I guess I am now having a relapse, minor, but still new damage. I initially noticed numbness around my left eye Wednesday 29 September which extended to the left side of my nose over a few days and has gradually extended up to my hairline and down to my top lip and top gum. It is purely numbness, I can eat and purse my lips, although I have started to bite the inside of my mouth, so in general not bad, just annoying......

Having just come back from our holiday I am a little off of my plan in terms of sleep, but I am trying to keep to it and stay up. Last night I didn't feel well so went to bed early, but I think that has set me up to get back to the plan properly. Just need to set other things in motion - start playing my clarinet tonight, start Slimming World on Thursday (yes I know another diet, but at least I am trying) and pop into the local Leisure Centre for a Swimming Pool timetable and price list. Pretty sure there was something else I was going to do but I can't remember - it will come to me I am sure!

Next steps

2010-09-28T19:49:00.002+01:00

Further to my last post I am already making changes, prompted a little by some news on Saturday. Someone I know was diagnosed with MS a couple of years ago, I found out on Saturday. Thinking back there have been a few things over the last 6 months or so that could have suggested an illness but only with the benefit of hindsight. She has really inspired me to make the changes I have been thinking about for some time. I almost feel a little inadequate and found myself justifying the way I deal with having MS. I know everyone is different and I have no intention of living my life the same way as her but she made me think properly about all those things that I have been meaning to do.

I am going to start a few things - playing my clarinet (already secured a trial with a band), regular swimming and, yes you guessed it, another diet!

I have started going to bed later - I know, considering my last post it may be considered a strange place to start, however I am pretty sure my sleep pattern is the key. Going to bed, watching 15 minutes of telly and then switching off seems to be a lot easier when I go to bed with B, not sure why as he adds to the noise in the room......! On injection nights I watch 30 mins of TV between injection and paracetamol and then switch off for sleep. So far so good, 10pm Sunday night and 11pm last night, although I was on a late this morning so had an extra hour in bed. I am feeling a little tired but also better than I have in the evening for a while!

Here's to the changes! :0)

So very tired......

2010-09-24T18:59:00.002+01:00

I find it difficult to understand the difference between being tired and fatigued. Is there a difference or are they two different words for the same thing? Initially I always took fatigue to be a word which was associated with extreme tiredness, rather than just being a bit tired, but I am not really sure.

I would never describe myself at fatigued. I am always able to function, however much I would prefer to be lounging in bed! At the moment I feel more than my normal tiredness. Pre MS I used to go down the pub until midnight (not drinking) and get up to start work at 6am the next morning, not to say I wouldn't be tired, but it would take me one relaxing evening and a relatively early night to recover. Now, well I work in a much more sensible job but still need to be in bed by 10pm to get up at 6.40am, and 10pm really is the latest and can't be maintained comfortably all week.

I survive busy weekends by trying to be sensible as much as possible and then go to bed at 8pm for a couple of nights to try and catch up. Recently, well since the beginning of July, I have had runs of 2 or 3 weekends on the trot when the whole weekend is taken up with events which involve something to tire me out - driving, lifeguarding, organising/running events, drinking (alcohol), more travelling.

Now I know I don't help myself, I am overweight and get NO exercise, but that has been the same forever and things are progressively getting worse, or so it seems to me. I suppose the thing is that I don't really give myself a chance. I sleep badly through portions of the night fairly regularly, often sleep talking and walking and when I do get the chance to relax there is always too much to be done. I do spend time doing not a lot but I don't think that is enough. I need to sort out my sleep and I need to start getting some exercise - 2 things to start with anyway.

This weekend we are off to the CAMRA Ascot Beer Festival, held at Ascot Racecourse. It is a day time thing and will not be strenuous but I won't get a lie in and I suspect it will be a relatively late night (midnight latest though!). As I have felt shattered all week, even after showering which normally perks me up, I decided a lie in and an early finish was called for - so I took a half day. Got up an hour late, worked 3h 45m (ish) and have come home, had a nap and sat on the sofa (with a few light chores added for good measure!) - I am hoping to have a really fun day tomorrow and keep my eyes open!

I have a scheduled MS Nurse appointment at the beginning of November and I plan to take a note prompting me to ask about tiredness and sleep, also my bowels which have not been the same since the relapse I had in 2008 when I became constipated. It's not as though I am ever constipated any more but my bowels just don't seems to work properly. I am sure the stool takes too long to move along as my motions are always large and hard and I have to push, I never get the bowels doing the evacuation work themselves.......such a lovely subject!

Before anyone worries, this was a sudden change associated with a relapse in 2008 after which things almost got back to normal. Since then things have got gradually more noticeable, however I have no other bowel symptoms and given the length of time I am sure nothing more sinister is going on (oh and in no way is my weight reducing...) - I will ask my MS Nurse about it though.

On that lovely note I will end my post!

All gone......

2010-09-21T19:08:00.002+01:00

All 4 of those lovely kittens have now gone to new homes. Jemima went to a colleague of mine, Misty went to a nice couple with a baby on the way and Freddie and Roxi, now Thomas and Baby, went to a lovely family with three very good children (that's about as nice as I can be about children...!). I have had updates about Jemima, Thomas and Baby and all seem to be getting on well.

After Whisky had the squits we thought we were home and dry, well no, Thomas developed sqitty poo's about 10 days after Whisky. We tried all the tricks the vet had told us for Pepsi only to decide and be advised that kittens really shouldn't be given any live yoghurt...... Jemima then went on to develop squitty poo as well...... We got some Pro-Kolin and Hills Prescription diet (Id) and within about 36 hours things were already improving! By the time they went to their new homes they had wonderful poos!!

In the interim we have had more fun with Whisky. What we think was an injury from his altercation back in August seems to have become bothersome and likely infected. Whisky managed to scratch it raw more or less over night so we took him to the vets and he now has anti-biotic drops and a buster collar on..... He is also not allowed out - he is miserable as sin........

Still, his head is much much better and we hope he will be out of the collar in the next few days. Speaking of collars, Pepsi came home without hers the other day....they are both chipped so it's not like they can't be identified but still, she needs to keep a better eye on her belongings...!!

Jemima Puddle Duck and Co.

2010-09-05T19:59:00.004+01:00

From top to bottom, left to right: Roxi, Freddie (bit blurred but he was playing with camera string), Jemima and Misty.

Roxi and Freddie are brother and sister, approx 16 weeks old and Jemima and Misty are sisters approx 13 weeks.

They are now getting on fairly well but we still have the occasional hiss! So far I have contacted a couple of potential adopters so fingers crossed they go to their new homes soon!

Since my last post, a step by step story.....

2010-09-03T19:39:00.003+01:00

A few things, mainly pet related have happened since my last post. On Sunday 15th Pepsi went off her food and hid in the garage for the day. Over night she had diarrhoea and vomited the small amount of food she had eaten over night. We contacted the vet on Monday and they suggested bland food and keeping her in for 24 hours. She started to look a lot better and was a lot better in herself so we thought she was getting there.

Wednesday 18th I was off to bed at 21:30 when Whisky came in. He has a gash under his eye, a very bloody eye and a bloody nose. I rang Vets Now, the local 24 hour vets and they advised that as it was his eye we should take him in. Well, £250 later he has had an anti-biotic injection and a pain killing injection and is on 2 eye drops.......

Whisky did really well, Pepsi continued to have diarrhoea and vomited a bit. On a couple of mornings I had accidents to clear up. When we took Whisky for his follow-up appointment at our vets they were pleased with him, we were to continue with the drops for a few more days but didn't need to take him again unless we were worried. We asked about Pepsi and they suggested something called Pro-Kolin to help bind her poo and add good bacteria. We think it worked, she has made it through the nights ever since, so fingers crossed.

So since then we have gone about routine as normal. We have our next kittens. We picked up 2 yesterday, brother and sister and another 2 today, sisters. There aren't exactly getting on but there have been no fisty cuffs! Photos to follow.

So this afternoon Whisky now seems to have something, or possibly to have eaten something that disagrees with him, a mouse, a bird, some form of vermin no doubt. He has vomited this evening and there was vomit outside this afternoon. There was also a squitty poo in the litter tray so who knows who did that....... So I will now spend my evening worrying about him. I am sure he will be fine, he has already managed to get out and over the 6ft fence so fingers crossed. Considering they haven't been ill since they were kittens they're doing well.......

The joys of cat ownership........

Quiet

2010-08-14T08:22:00.002+01:00

All kittens have now gone to their new homes. After meeting the families collecting them I am more than happy that they will all lead charmed lives with their every want catered for! I was a bit sad to see them go, especially Charlie, but it's also a lot easier to move around the house without the fast moving kittens and there is also no clearing up of pee!! We still have to clean the room thoroughly - which I will do today - and I have said we'll be ready for more tomorrow.

We went to look at a pen for the garden on Tuesday. It is quite big but will fit quite nicely at the end of the garden. We want to continue fostering but would really like to move it outside so hopefully we'll have a pen within the next few months!

Other than the fact I can't hear properly - think water went into my ear in the shower and won't come out - I am feeling quite tired at the moment. Not sure what that's all about...... Managing fine at work but home life is suffering a bit. I was in bed a 20:30 with a headache last night. Fell asleep snuggling on B and after he went back downstairs was asleep 10 mins later..... Ah well, hopefully that means I'll have a good day today and B is cooking a nice meal this evening so want to be good for that as well ;0)

Oh, nearly forgot, we have raised mass murderers, after Whisky's exploits at the weekend Pepsi took up the mantle on Wednesday morning. Fortunately I had already gone to work but B noticed she was making a lot of noise when he was in the bathroom, stuck his head out of the window and she was on the door step with a bird in her mouth...... Thursday morning B was in the kitchen and she wandered in with a bluetit in her mouth...... Where did we go wrong....??!!

Kittens

2010-08-09T20:02:00.003+01:00

Three of the four terrors....! The one at the front is Mali (Beta), the one at the back is Myrtle (Alpha) and the one eating my finger is Charlie. Charlie is going to be homed with my colleague who happens to like the name Charlie!

They are definitely cute but I am now starting to look forward to them going to their homes..... One of them, I think I know which, has decided they don't like the litter we are provided with and will therefore not use it...... I have been clearing up puddles of pee at least once a day since Friday..... We had had a couple of incidents prior to Friday but it then started happening all the time. No poo found where it shouldn't be, yet. They were due their first vaccinations this evening but due to a staff incident (bereavement at a guess) we have been moved to tomorrow instead. The first two (Mali and Myrtle) will still be going to their homes as planned assuming they don't have a problem with the vaccine and Charlie and Maisey (Delta) weren't going until later in the week anyway.

Moving on to an older, murderous, Ripper like cat...... Whisky kindly brought me a live bird Sunday morning. I got the bird and placed it in a quiet box in the kitchen, where it died. Around 2pm Whisky brought another live bird. I rescued this bird around 3 times over the course of the day until Whisky eventually killed it. I didn't have a good day yesterday, found the bird slaughter quite upsetting really...... Still Whisky is designed to do that, doesn't mean I have to like it though.

Can't believe the lot at the top of the page might/probably will turn in to killers......!!

Shiny New Design

2010-08-08T12:23:00.003+01:00

For the first time since I started my blog it has been given a revamp! Courtesy of Blogger and its new themes etc! I am quite pleased with the outcome but may tweak a little further - it is so easy!

Diets and Kittens

2010-07-28T19:48:00.005+01:00

Slightly strange combination I accept, however they are both hot topics in my house. I am really struggling to get back on the diet. I have lost the half stone I put on on holiday and a couple more pounds - about 9lb in total over the last 2.5 weeks. I just wish I could get back to it properly...... just so many things happening at the weekends and no real will not to eat the nice food..... :0( Well, I'll keep plodding on and try to get back to it properly at some point, in the meantime I need to find a balance so I don't make myself ill going back and forth - going on and off the Cambridge Weight Plan gives me headaches......

Now for the kittens; we have 4 Cats Protection kittens - they will be 9 weeks old on the 8 August and are cute, cute, cute and more cute!! They don't have official names as yet. The 2 in the pink bed are Beta and Delta and the 2 on the white fleece are Alpha and Charlie. Alpha and Beta are off to a home together in a few weeks and Delta is off to another home. Charlie may be homed with a colleague of mine but we are waiting on another Cats Protection branch.

It's lovely having kittens, I do, of course, want to keep them all but I know I can't. It is funny how big Whisky and Pepsi look - I am thinking they need to loose a few pounds just like their owners.....!! Whisky met the kittens briefly - they are quick little buggers - and there was hissing on both sides - think Whisky may have wanted to eat them!!!

Back on the diet.....

2010-07-13T18:38:00.001+01:00

......nuff said!

29

2010-06-14T19:05:00.002+01:00

How did that happen...?? I turned 29 at the beginning of June. I don't mind birthdays but I don't like the 9..... Still, one year older and wiser (well maybe....!!).

We had a take away on my birthday and went to see Bon Jovi at the O2 on Friday night - treat for me! We also stayed in town and had a mooch around Oxford Street and Covent Garden on the Saturday. One thing to mention, we got the Thames Clipper to and from the O2 - they couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery. Nightmare getting home - they filled the boat we were booked on and then we didn't get on a boat until 35 mins later at which point we had missed all the tubes and had to get a taxi back to our hotel. Will be writing a complaint letter......

Annual Review

2010-05-30T07:29:00.002+01:00

I had my annual review with my neuro on Thurs. My appointment was supposed to be at 15:30 and I eventually got in at 16:55 - a new low for my hospital - they are usually pretty good..... Apparently the ash cloud had caused my Cons' clinic to be cancelled a few weeks earlier and they had shoved a lot of them into the clinic I was booked into. Unsurprisingly this lead to the long delay and me not managing to get my bloods done on the day.

Anyway, I got in to see Weir, spent 10 mins explaining what had gone on since I last saw him, him doing the usual checking of reflexes, hoping etc and that was that. Still, he was pleased with me and thinks that although I am experiencing symptoms fairly regularly the fact that they remain sensory in the same areas means they are memories of previous relapses rather than new inflammatory relapses - bonus - my brain is not becoming more broken!

Weight update - Weight Watchers

2010-05-27T18:20:00.002+01:00

Well I stopped the Cambridge Diet - I decided that I had had enough and wasn't doing it properly. I had a couple of weeks off, put on 5lb and decided to join Weight Watchers. I hove now lost 4.5lb of the 5lb I put on so things are back in the right direction!

Still plodding along!

Black Brush Algae (BBA)

2010-05-23T10:21:00.002+01:00

Over the last couple of months I have noticed a layer of black hairy algae over certain plants - which has recently covered most things in the aquarium..... Through Google I have identified it as Black Brush Algae - which is apparently reasonably difficult to get rid of but is manageable with certain changes to my tank regime - actually having a regime would be a start.......

At the moment - I change water when I remember and feed once a day. I have light on for approx 10 hours a day and have an increasing % of live plants. I have sand substrate (making it difficult to get the poo off of the sand), bogwood and some 'plastic' ornaments. The tank is next to a window but the curtains are closed throughout the day (we don't have net up at the moment).

My 200L tank has: 5 Corydoras, 3 Zebra Loaches, 3 Coolie Loaches, 6 Zebra Danios, 6 Cherry Barbs, 8 Platys (2 fry), 6 male Guppies, 1 Bristlenose Plec and Trumpet Snails.

So, what to do about the algae - trying to take it all out is not, apparently, an effective way of removing it - it will grow back. So, back to Google for further assistance....!

It appears that the Siamese Flying Fox (or Siamese Algae Eater (SAE) enjoys eating this type of algae so the first thing I did yesterday was go out and buy some SAE fish. According to a stocking calculator I have plenty of space left for fish - especially as my filter is more than adequate for my tank - so I bought 3. They are now in quarantine for the next few days before going into the main tank.

My filter was overdue a rinse so I did that - found one of the Coolie Loaches when I poured the water over the garden (panic stations as the fish burrows.....) but managed to get him back and into the tank. Problem with the Coolie Loaches is that we rarely see them so I would have no idea if one had disappeared..... I also found some snails in my filter which is fine as it means they are still in there doing their bit but that the Loaches are also doing theirs!

I have trimmed all the plants back - some of them are very vigorous - and that has reduced the amount of algae and added the recommended dose of fertiliser. I have also taken out several artificial plants that were looking a bit ropey...... I have ordered Seachem Flourish Excel which will apparently help due to one of the chemicals in it. Increasing CO2 has also been recommended to help encourage plant growth - I have investigated CO2 injection and have ordered a tester to see whether I need to add it or whether my tank is ok.

It has also been suggested that too many water changes, even small ones, would not help. I should however try and be better at doing the small weekly water changes - for the sake of the fish apart from anything else.......

I am hoping my new fish, chemicals and better care will sort out my problem!

Foster cats

2010-05-15T16:48:00.002+01:00

Both of our foster cats have now gone. Thelma was adopted mid April and Cindy was taken home by her new owners today. Both sets of adopters (couples) seemed really nice and I am happy both cats have gone to a good home. Neither wanted to go into their carriers to leave but then I think that is normal for cats!!

Having fostered our first cats we will definitely be fostering more - we are hoping to get a pen to fit in our garden but will continue to foster inside for the time being.

On a completely different tack - it is B and my first wedding anniversary tomorrow - time really does fly!!

Checking in

2010-05-03T12:32:00.004+01:00

Thought I'd check in as I haven't said 'Hi' for a while!

B and I have just had a week off together doing not a lot! It has been great, although I spent most of the week recovering from a work do on the Friday evening....... I won an award at work - for going above and beyond (apparently - thought I was just doing my job) and as a result was invited to the 'Thank U' event. This year it was at the Wyndham Grand Chelsea Harbour Hotel and we were treated to a gala dinner and night stay. We also had a small bottle of Champagne and a box of Champagne chocolates in the room afterwards.

Needless to say I got 'quite' drunk courtesy of the free flowing Champagne prior to dinner and the free flowing wine during dinner..... One by one I located the Executive Committee of Unum UK, including our big chief and dragged them (sometimes literally) onto the dance floor. I think most of the Ex Co were a little worse for wear by the end of the night anyway so I am hoping they will have forgotten me by now!!

The hotel itself was really nice. It is an all suite hotel so we had huge rooms! Anyway, a good night seemed to be had by all and I thoroughly enjoyed myself!

Not much else to report at the moment. I have gone back to pre filled syringes of Rebif as the RebiSmart was a bit painful, unwieldy and more bulky when travelling. I'm sure some people love it, I prefer to inject manually. I did get a shiny new Rebiject as well, don't use that very often though.

Symptoms wise, rumbling along as usual at the moment. Seem to have settled down to a vaguely sensible level again!

How do you ground a cat??

2010-04-16T19:34:00.002+01:00

This last week has been interesting. We had a lovely warm weekend so lots of planting got done - I even managed to get sunburned...... Anyway, we misplaced Pepsi. She went out Sunday morning and never came back. I didn't worry about her particularly before Monday evening when she still hadn't come back. B and I went for a walk around the many paths and roads in our area and found no trace of Pepsi - good in some ways, bad in others. I designed a 'missing' leaflet Monday evening and B put a couple up in the morning and then printed loads during the day.

We had to take Cindy to the vet Tuesday evening but when we got back we heard a cat. I followed the sound and it was coming from inside a garage kind of opposite our back gate. B then saw a nose and it was definitely Pepsi. We were so relived and the owner of the garage was in so we were able to get her then and there - she was hungry, what a surprise!!

Pepsi was then grounded for the evening and only went outside supervised!! I would have liked to ground her for longer but I don't think that would have gone down well.....!!

I spent a lot of time trying not to cry whilst she was gone - thinking the worst I guess - but we got her back and she is currently chilling out in the garden following tea.

Whisky, bless him, just moped around for 2 days. He doesn't like being on his own so was really missing his sister - he even hissed at her on her return, something I have never heard him do before..... Still they are getting along fine again.

Never thought owning a cat could be so stressful!

Cindy and Thelma

2010-03-27T14:43:00.003Z

This is Thelma, she is approximately 4 months old but is diddy for her age (1.8kg). A real sweetie who now accepts cuddles and tummy tickling!

This is Cindy, she is approximately 1 year old and has a stumpy tail. She is lovely, always wants attention and loves a good stroke!

Cats Protection - Reading East, Wokingham and Bracknell always have cats that need a good home so go and have a look if you are in the area and thinking of getting a cat!

It's been a shock going back to looking after a kitten, and indoor cats. We have lots of wet food - which is messy - very pleased we moved onto dry food, and the litter. We are supplied with wood pellet non clumping litter by Cats Protection. I have to say I prefer clumping litter - we use World's Best for our tray - and I am struggling a little with how to use the wood pellet. On my third way of using it I think I have my preferred method. Put a thin layer of wood pellets (cm or so) on the bottom, remove waste and wood shavings as required and top up. Seem to use a lot less this way!

My other news is that my department have just been through a redundancy process. There are 30 of us at the Basingstoke site and 7 jobs needed to go. 1 person had just resigned and 1 person accepted a job in her secondment position so that meant 5 roles to go. We were told 2 weeks ago and had our first meetings. We have since been waiting for the result. Needless to say this period has been ever so slightly stressful and my MS hasn't settled down since it flared at the end of my cold - I am blaming that on the redundancy risk....... May or may not be a relapse, I will have to wait and see.

Anyway, the end of the story was that I am still in my job - relief. Unfortunately I was one of the last to be told (alphabetical by 1st name) and by the time I was called in I had pretty much decided I would be the 5th redundant role as 4 had already gone. It was a horrible feeling, yes the money would have been nice but having to get a new job, and quickly, scared me. I cried when I was told, which made my manager cry. I then pulled myself together before crying some more, and so on. I am assuming I was much more stressed about it than I thought I was..... Not the money side but the trying to find a job with MS in the background bit.... In the end I was told I could go home and did as I was not capable of doing any work and was spending my time trying not to cry. I felt really bad as there were people who lost their jobs (who had already gone on gardening leave) who hadn't been as emotional as me. I really don't know what happened..... Still, that bit is over now, just have the fall out next week and the rest of the changes to look forward to!

The wagon / House guests

2010-03-22T17:54:00.002Z

So my temporary grip on the wagon Thursday morning lasted until Thursday evening....... All in all this week has been a total loss in terms of eating - have layered Viennese Whirls and Chips up over the last few days.... Well, may as well do a proper job of it.......!! I have managed to stick to it today so far. I have had a half tin of tuna with some paracetamol as I have my usual Cambridge headache. It could also be the cheesecake I had Saturday and Sunday evenings..... You get the idea!

The other exciting news is that we have our first house guests - Thelma and Cindy. Thelma and Cindy are rescue cats from Cats Protection who need new homes as their owner moved and couldn't take them. Thelma and Cindy lived with 9 other cats and had already spent some time with another fosterer before coming to us.

Cindy is around 1 year old, is all black apart from little white socks and has a little tail. Thelma is around 4 months and is black and white - very like Whisky, our male cat. The reason we now have Thelma and Cindy is that Thelma needs a bit more TLC and socialising than her previous house mates. She is a real cutie and you can see that she really wants to play - she is just too scared to at the moment. We have only had her in the house since Sunday afternoon but she is already getting braver and also very vocal! Cindy can be timid but enjoys a good stroke and has already decided our bed is very comfortable! Cindy and Thelma seem to get on very well even though they aren't sisters and are keeping each other company during the day.

Photo's to follow at some point!

Where has the wagon gone....?

2010-03-17T18:42:00.003Z

It seems I have fallen off of the wagon...... I have just had enough of this diet at the moment. I have 'eaten' nothing but Cambridge Weight Plan meals for nearly 5 months, give or take the odd meal, and I have had enough. Bored, want to chose food again, want to eat crap again. So I have. I am feeling quite good at the moment, but I am sure I will be disappointed later.

B and I had a really nice dinner Saturday night for his birthday and since then, well I haven't eaten loads, but I have had a few biscuits and a can of coke zero. Today I went to Waitrose for stock cubes and bought a small Galaxy bar, packet of kettle chips and a blueberry muffin - all of which I have consumed - and I also have a couple of beers. Definitely off of the wagon! I am going to attempt to get back on it again tomorrow but with a tweek up to the SS+/810 calorie plans as I am loosing the will to stick to it so I can cope with slightly slower weight loss and slightly more food!!

So what else in my world. I had a cold last week, unusually it lasted Monday to Friday rather than going over a weekend. Since my cold got better my legs have become gradually more numb, it started in both of my lower legs and has moved upwards. My right leg is now worse and feels stiff, just without the stiff pain. My left leg is ok, just altered sensation (ok, more altered than usual) and it has now moved up to the left side of my torso as well. My bum etc is also a bit more numb than usual, as appears to be the way...... Alongside the increased numbness/change in sensation I am feeling more tired - I guess it is more than normal tiredness as I am feeling pretty rough in the mornings again.

I am just hoping it is because of my cold and is just an exacerbation rather than an actual relapse. It may all be sensory but it is still really f**&^%g annoying!!

Weigh in today

2010-02-22T21:00:00.002Z

Lost another 4lb, was hoping for another 1lb but I'm happy enough!

That leaves me 4lb to get to 4 stone off, was hoping to get there by the end of Feb but that is unlikely now. I have a weekend of eating ahead of me so I am not expecting a large loss so will have to settle for reaching 4 stone on the 8 March, hopefully and 5 stone by the end of March - I do set myself up don't I!

Rebif wise - things have been going well, no more bad reactions - phew!

RebiSmart

2010-02-13T16:20:00.004Z

So, the new RebiSmart. The nurse, sponsored by Merck Serono was late. She was however given the wrong address so I'll forgive some of the time!

She went through the use of the machine, fairly self explanatory and the machine provides instructions along the way as well. She also went over the injection sites with me - I was either told slightly wrong initially or I remember wrong - not ruling out either - so that was useful. I think she wanted to go into Rebif and what it does but I felt no need to go over that again.

I injected with the machine around 4pm and it was easy and fairly comfortable. There are several adjustments you can make for your own comfort so I will be gradually changing one thing a week to see what suits me best. I have been advised by the nurse that I have access to her support for an initial 3 month period and after that we can discuss what further support I want/need. My guess is I won't need to speak to her from one week to the next - big fan of managing myself!

I used the injector Wednesday night - into my thigh - and then had the worst night ever. I had all the flu-like symptoms, shivering so hard all my muscles and joints ached in the morning, couldn't sleep and had a horrendous headache. By the time I got up to shower and go to work I felt dreadful and wanted to cry. I managed to shower but then needed to sit down between showering and cleaning my teeth. B was fairly adamant that I didn't try and go to work given the 3 hours broken sleep I had had and by the time I had tried to get ready for work I agreed...... So a day off work, presumably as a result of the Rebif, 2.5 years after starting it. Weird.

I contacted the Rebif nurse and she wasn't really sure but thought it may be the fact that it was delivered properly. I think it was because I normally inject straight out of the fridge and Wednesday night it was warm - just a thought anyway. Last night I injected out of the fridge and took some extra ibuprofen. No problems, slept well and felt fine this morning. Who knows, extra pain relief or straight out of the fridge??

Given my bad day Thursday and not great day Friday I have eaten a 'few' chocolates. Got on the scales this morning and seem to have put on some weight since Wednesday - water retention at a guess...... Having chicken and cabbage (nicer than it sounds) tonight for dinner but other than that meal I need to be 100% to get rid of the water. Just 8lb to go to my first goal - must focus!

In the eternal words of Victor Meldrew....

2010-02-08T14:06:00.002Z

I don't believe it! Apparently I have lost another 4lb! Now I was weighed before lunch so I guess that would be a pounds worth, but I am chuffed given I only got into gear on Thursday.

I haven't been doing it 100% for a couple of weeks hence the more steady losses, however I want to get this next stone off by the 28 February, therefore I flipped the switch and got back on the wagon - lets hope I can stay there!

Got my RebiSmart training this afternoon - I will let you know how it goes....

Go me!

2010-02-03T17:58:00.001Z

I have now officially lost just over 3 stone since 20 October 2009. I am well chuffed! Just another 3 1/2 to go!!

Unofficially.....

2010-02-01T19:01:00.002Z

...... I have now lost over 3 stone!

Have a meeting tonight so am going to weigh in tomorrow but according to my scales (which I have tracked my weight loss on also) I have lost another 3lb, taking me to just over 3 stone lost!

Very exciting although not a great loss again - self control at the brewery was some what lacking......

I will confirm tomorrow.

It was all going so well

2010-01-25T21:14:00.002Z

Another 2lb 10oz lost, and another some what bad week..... It was going soooo well until I went to Bracknell Lifesaving Club Christmas party Saturday night (we do it after as before is too hectic..). I had it all planned - we were told we would get the meat of our basket meal and help ourselves to chips and salad - my plan to just have salad and the meat. In the end they put the chips in the basket as well. I just started with 1 nice crispy chip and it went from there....... I had half my chips before I stopped Next, a bottle of Spitfire (beer) and then at home another beer and a bit of chocolate

I got back on the wagon Sunday and drank loads of water - I am lucky to have lost anything....!

I am going to try really hard to do well this week - got a brewery tour on Saturday - have to muster some self restraint!! I am also desperate to get to 3 stone lost - then I'll be on target for a stone in a month over Jan/Feb/March - I can do it!

Nothing interesting to report, life going on as normal....

Not so good.....

2010-01-19T21:22:00.003Z

The last week was difficult in terms of eating. I have eaten all sorts of things, most of which aren't too bad, more the extra fat which is a problem..... I have eaten cheese, eggs, chicken and tuna, mainly, I also ate the unopened packet of Christmas tree chocolates - around 10 caramel bells.......

I lost another pound, which is another pound to add to the total, but I am a little disappointed in myself......

This week should be ok, so far I have been almost 100% (had a little cheese this evening) and although I have the Lifesaving Post Christmas party to go to I am not that worried as it is a basket meal for next to nothing - I am having Scampi, chips and salad - without the chips and only a few scampi! It's more about the social aspect rather than the dinner! Will be driving as well - I am almost saint like!!!!

I saw my MSN on Friday. As usual she was really nice, unusually she was heavily pregnant! As she goes on MAT leave in a couple of weeks she had another MS support nurse (MSSN) with her so she could have a bit of a handover - very sensible, not like the NHS at all.... MSSN seemed nice, she was very quiet, I have another appt in November so I am sure I will meet her properly then.

It was quite funny really, I had just told her (MSN) about my current ongoing symptoms, and adding that they were getting better, and she said, so since June (when I saw Cons) you would say you have had no relapses? I said, no, I would say I have had 2 relapses! She had forgotten about August but had the emails (don't blame her, must be many, many of us to remember) and hadn't twigged that what I was describing at the moment wasn't normal for me...... She said she would be interested to see what my Cons says in May as I am still having relapses - I think I am better thanks to Rebif and only have sensory relapses - so however much I moan and however irritating it is to have relapses I am forever grateful for the improvement I have had.

Nearly forgot, I will be getting to trial the new RebiSmart injecting device for a month - thought I may as well give it a shot. Apparently it helps reduce skin reactions and as my thighs tend to get very red and bruised it may help, you never know.

Weigh in - wow!

2010-01-11T19:46:00.003Z

Lost another 5lb! That's 36lb in total - 2st 8lb. I didn't think I'd make it to 3 stone during January, especially given Christmas and New Year, oh and the left overs! Maybe I will!

I managed to get to work today, local roads were still a bit dicey but the main roads were ok, just very slow. We are forecast more snow tomorrow afternoon/evening into Wednesday - lets hope that doesn't mean another enforced day off work on Wednesday - I have too much work to do to stay at home!! Such a shame we are unable to work from home, apart from making phone calls I could do everything from the comfort of my sofa.

Oh, back to weight - I was told I need to buy smaller trousers today - I like it when people start to notice and say things like that!

Food, food, food.....

2010-01-08T15:49:00.002Z

This last week has been hard work. There have been nibbles left around the house and I have been eating them...... Mainly chocolate, but 3 Hovis biscuits as well - all since Tuesday. I haven't had any meals or large amounts of food and am steering clear of carbs but am a little disappointed. It seems getting back onto the wagon isn't that easy!

I haven't been to work since the snow arrived in the Thames Valley, that is 3 days sat at home. I haven't been out at all until today when I tried to get the snow off my car in order to go to work - only to be told not to go to work by my team lead..... I have been a little bored and therefore finding it harder to resist things.... Anyway, I finished my cheese (goats) and we split the chocolates last night, therefore the only things left for me to snack on are Quorn, Tuna and Chicken which are all ok if my resolve falters.

As of today I am trying to SS only. I slipped at lunch and had a small piece of cooked chicken, however all I have had since then is Leek and Potato Soup and water.

Over Christmas and New Year I ate a few things which would not normally be considered safe for someone with a lactose intolerance, however I have not had any migraines, which has surprised me. I now plan to test whether my tolerance is a little higher than it was previously and have a normal shake. I am assuming I will not be able to have normal shakes all the time, but adding a couple a week would be nice.

It may be that the Propranolol I am taking daily has been preventing them, which would be great - but I am not going to push it!! The other thing is that perhaps my weight loss has helped reduce the migraines. It is a stretch as I have always been able to associate migraines with dairy intake, however coincidences do happen, just not sure they happen that often..... My weight may well have reduced the random ones though - I can only hope!

MS - still boring, still numb, getting occasional pain in my right hand, especially yesterday, still crap.....

Weight

2010-01-04T18:59:00.002Z

Happy New Year to all!!!

Weigh in tonight, first since Christmas - 0.2lb on - so chuffed!!! I thought I had blown it, but maybe not!

MS wise my numbness has moved up a little to my waist and isn't getting any better - I am bored now and would like it to go away....... I am seeing my MSN on the 15th so I can moan to her - it helps!

Christmas

2009-12-27T09:14:00.002Z

Months of prep and now Christmas is more or less over and done with..... We've had a lovely couple of days, 1 spent as a couple and 1 spent with my family. I have, of course, eaten too much and I am now trying to reduce my intake back - did well yesterday and didn't eat any nibbles, didn't eat too much at dinner and then had too much tea - best intentions and all that...... I do now need to get a grip so I don't put too much weight back on!!

Love to all, hope you all had a great Christmas! x

Weight update

2009-12-14T20:08:00.002Z

I weighed in on the 8th December and today.

After my week eating SS+ meals and a chicken Shaslik I lost another 2lb, which I was happy enough with and this week I have lost another 5lb! That is 2 stone, 1.5 pounds since I started!!

MS wise my right lower leg continues to be problematic and with the cold weather gets worse. The numbness remains unproblematic however, just annoying!

Humph......again..........

2009-12-07T19:02:00.002Z

I have spent the last 3 days with either a migraine or a headache - I am most miffed...... Why always at a weekend, sooo annoying. So after my plans to just have a couple of days SS+ I have in fact had a SS+ day every day since Wed. I felt so grotty yesterday I just had a tin of tuna as I had no salad and today I wanted to take nurofen plus and decided to eat a small tin of tuna so the tablets weren't on an empty stomach.

I would normally weigh in tonight but just want to veg and preferably go to bed as soon as possible so will go tomorrow after work. I don't have high hopes though, if anything my weight seems to have gone up since Saturday...... I have still lost mind you, just not much.

I was thinking to myself whilst lying in bed feeling sorry for myself; there is so much snack food in the house. Nibbles for Christmas, left over crisps, Christmas tree chocolates, other chocolates, basically a whole raft of things I would like to be eating. But apart from a fleeting glance and thought, I haven't really considered actually eating any of them - a big big step forward for me! If I was on any other diet half of the Christmas supplies would have gone by now!!!

Oh, I put the Christmas decorations up on Saturday. So far one branch has been removed from the back of the tree and some tinsel attacked, but other than that it is all in one piece!! Result!

Humph.......

2009-12-03T19:31:00.004Z

I am feeling a tad sorry for myself. I seem to have some numb bits which means, probably, another relapse. Thought I'd had my quota for this year..... Everything which is involved was involved last time so it appears to be an exacerbation of my previous relapse - pretty sure I don't have a UTI and did have a little cold coming but nothing arrived. Pish really.......

So normally with a relapse and being pissed off I would start to eat crap. Any thoughts with regard to trying to eat healthily would go out of the window..... Well this time I am sticking with it! I have treated myself to 100g Quorn and some green lettuce for 2 nights in a row which has made me feel naughty, but also a bit happier (ok, just realised this is what I normally do, I am just doing it with healthier stuff....still, baby steps) and am not feeling the need to eat the crisps in the cupboard or the treats at work.

Hopefully I will still lose some weight this week - I have followed the SS+ guidelines so should be ok!

Another

2009-11-30T20:13:00.002Z

5lb 4oz gone!! Yes, it is that specific.... I would be happy with whole pounds, but hey, my CDC does all the maths for me!

I lost

2009-11-24T17:56:00.004Z

another half pound. I guess eating out Sat (Red Rose), Mon (Il Gusto), Thurs (Bel), Fri (B @ home) and Sat (Red Rose) is not conducive to weight loss....!!

I have to say that yet again I felt in control and stuck to meat and veg. I did digress and had one poppadaum on Friday and about a quarter of a Keema Naan on Saturday so kicked myself out of Ketosis - still I seem to have got back in ok. Oh, did I mention the bottle of wine on Saturday and at least half a bottle of wine Friday...... I am disappointed in myself but at the same time I have a long haul ahead of me and need to learn to control myself when out - apart from the drinking at home I am doing ok!

New Car

2009-11-21T17:43:00.002Z

How cool!!

Relaxing

2009-11-21T17:25:00.003Z

In front of the TV, in a warm, snuggley jumper, just me and B (oh and the cats)!

This week we have been visited by B's parents. They always visit him (now us) in November for a week and do some decorating. I say some, for the last 2 years they have done a superb job on 2 large rooms! I did my first glossing - not as difficult as it is made out to be....

Unusually I have struggled my way through this week. I have been well for ages now but this week I have had a migraine and regular headaches, some of which were threatening to be migraines...... I don't know what provoked it all but it has been a hard work week.... I am guessing a combination of car collection, decorating, paint fumes and also that it is just never the same when you have guests.

Weight - I lost another 2 1/2 pounds last week so have now lost around 17lb! This week, with B's parents here I have eaten out a few times, but have been very sensible so I am hoping to have stayed the same........here's hoping!

Weigh In #3

2009-11-09T20:35:00.003Z

Another 6lb off! I have now lost just under 15lb in 3 weeks, great!!

So, who else is cold?? My car advised me that it was 2C this morning - COLD - brrrrr....!

Cambridge Diet

2009-11-01T20:50:00.004Z

Ok, I know I have written about a few different weight loss attempts during my time blogging, so it will probably come as no surprise that I have embarked on another one. I am now on the Cambridge Diet which is a very low calorie diet and involves shakes and soups instead of normal meals. Now I know it seems a little extreme but I have to do something, my weight is continuing to increase and I have a very bad relationship with food which means I seem unable to muster enough will power to eat a healthy, low calorie diet for long enough to reduce my weight....... Stupid I know.......

Anyway, I am just at the end of my second week, I have done really well at sticking to it and I am really really impressed at how easy it has been! I have actually eaten some food this weekend. I was my Aunt's 60th birthday in September and the family got together this weekend to celebrate. We went to The Stone House Hotel in North Yorkshire and were booked in for dinner, bed and breakfast (months ago) so I decided to eat but plan and not over indulge. I was very proud of my restraint and only ate protein and veg, drank one glass of red wine and lots of water. I drew a line and stuck to it - so very proud of myself.

The Stone House was great - the food was excellent, rooms lovely and service great!

If anyone is reading they may have noticed my 'ticker' at the bottom of the page - it will show my weight loss - there will be losses!!

How and when........

2009-10-18T08:12:00.002+01:00

........ did it get to mid October 2009.......??

I know this is a silly question, the year is going by day by day as it usually does but it seems to be going really really fast!

B and I went to another beer festival yesterday, well the Hampshire Octoberfest which was a good day out. There was entertainment, entry to the Milestones Museum and a beer and food tent. There was plenty of beer as apart from a VIP evening on the Friday, Saturday was the first day. There was a Garlic shop, fresh produce, sweets and hot food - hog roast, burgers and a specialist vegetarian provider. I am a beer monster.......and it is all B's fault.

We left around 16:30 as it was getting very busy and went back to Reading to the Corn Stores. We then had dinner at The Gulshan - a very good Indian restaurant, which is unfortunately in the area to be redeveloped opposite Reading Station.

I had my yearly flu jab yesterday. Must remember that it aches and to have it on the left side in future!

MS wise I think I would classify this latest relapse as over. My left hand is a little worse than previously but not to any great extent. I am now sleeping without Amitriptyline for the first time since November 08 and in the same bed as B - through the snoring!! I am really chuffed as if you look at my relapse history they go on and on, they don't resolve in a 6-8 week time scale and are normally a little worse in terms of the number of affected areas! Here's hoping they continue to get fewer and minimal in impact!

Oh, I may have mentioned being on Propanolol as migraine prophylaxis. As with everything else I have tried I didn't think it would work, however I have now had a few stretches, 3 and 4 weeks when I haven't had any migraines! Compared to 1-2 migraines a week that is brilliant! I had a 2 migraines a couple of weeks ago but the first was self inflicted and the 2nd was after a long journey in and out of London and I guess I was tired.

All in all, things seem to be going well!

Relapse update

2009-09-23T20:15:00.002+01:00

It's been a while since I posted and I haven't really got much to add today. I thought I had better log in and say hi though!

I am doing well. My left arm numbness seems to have hit a plateau and now seems to be getting better gradually. I don't really notice the improvement on a day to day basis but when I think back to a few weeks ago it seems better.

In terms of my tiredness, well I am tired, not fatigued, just tired but I am no worse than I would expect given that I have had a few late nights over the last few weeks. I have also been hung over the last 2 Sundays - not really sure how that happened, well I know how that happened, but I haven't been hung over 2 weekends in a row for a LONG time!

B and I went out to dinner last weekend, a Greek / Italian Restaurant called Il Gusto and is near the station in Reading. The Restaurant is above a small (ish) pub, The Corn Stores and both are run by the same people. The pub is a Fuller's pub so keeps B, and on occasion me, happy for the evening! The strange thing about the Corn Stores is that it is generally fairly quiet, even on a Saturday evening.

So, anything coming up..... No in a word, boring at the moment!

Oh, forgot, I heard about Rebif's new delivery system yesterday - RebiSmart. It looks interesting, we will see!

Normal service resumed

2009-08-18T20:21:00.002+01:00

I can feel when I pee and poo!! It only took a week which is great! Obviously the feeling is not back to normal, that would be too much to ask, but I am very grateful to be able to feel my ablutions again!

My left arm has taken up the torch but it's not too bad. I can still type, drive and lift a pint with my left hand and arm so it's just a change in sensation at the moment, and has been so for a couple of days.

I still don't have a yeay or nay on whether I have a UTI. My sample was sent to the hospital and I was promised a call on Monday, I will call them tomorrow....... I am still going for no UTI as I would hope I would know........met enough people with one.

I haven't contacted my MSN yet either, on the basis that I haven't got the UTI result and she will ask if I have one. I will still let her know, just for her file, I am hoping this will go away all on its tod and in double quick time!

Arse.....

2009-08-12T19:48:00.003+01:00

My arse and various other bits below the waist are now numb. I am therefore not bucking the trent for August relapses, therefore, ****ARSE**** I have been touching wood and everything, not fair.....

I am a little annoyed to say the least. The numbness itself actually isn't that bad, it is worse around the top of my thighs, my bumb and genitals which means that although I am a little more unsteady than before when I stand up and if I change direction / don't pay attention to where I am going, I am ok when wondering around at work.

**ALERT - Don't read on if you would rather not read about peeing and pooing...**

My problem is really when going to the toilet. I know when I need to pee, and I am able to pee, I just can't feel it, I know when I have started and finished as the noise stops! I can't remember when I last felt like I needed a poo though. I have been but can't feel much when I push to poo and can't feel it coming out, which also means I can't tell if it is all gone.....sorry, not want you want to be reading about, but I did warn you!

I am also finding that there is a little leakage of both, nothing I can't cope with, but all the same, I'd rather not have leakage...!

On the basis of these slight hurdles I have decided taking a tablet which makes my poo softer and fatty is a bad plan so I have stopped the Alli. I do plan to keep up with the healthy eating though. I have been a bit naughty the last few days as I am feeling a bit sorry for myself, but will snap myself out of it soon - I haven't got much to complain about!

On a different tack, some friends of ours recently had their first baby - a girl. Now I may have mentioned I am not a fan of children, friends, family, ones I don't know..... it seems at the moment there is going to be no way of avoiding them! A few of B's friends are still waiting to pop, a few of mine are also waiting to pop, ex colleagues as well. Now I am really pleased for all of them, and very pleased that so far no one has had any problems, but really, was there something in the water 9 months ago!!??!

Rain, rain, rain....

2009-08-01T19:15:00.002+01:00

Well, it seems to be raining, this is nothing new however, it seems to have been raining most days for some time now, so much for the summer time! Still we had a couple of weeks of sunshine......

I have to say I have very little to report. Weight, well I haven't lost any recently but I survived 4 curries and a chinese with no weight gain so I think my general day to day eating is going well. I have also had no extra side effects from the Alli, so as far as I am concerned things are going well. Just need to get my head down now and get some more off.

I have been on Propanolol for a couple of weeks now. I had a migraine last weekend but only the one. I started taking the higher dose this morning. I am guessing I will get a reoccurence of the symptoms I had at the beginning - exercise intolerance and a lowered heart rate (well the one causes the other). I had to go to the GP to have a check up before going on to the higher dose and she was really nice. However, as seems to be the way with me and GPs she is leaving at the end of August. Never see a GP more than once before they leave - usually locums though.

Oh, we bought a Nintendo Wii today! Got a Wii fit as well so I should hopefully be doing more exercise..!!

Another oh, we bought our corner cabinet and a new dining room table last week. We need a new cabinet for the living room and we bought a display cabinet for our new glasses - thanks to everyone for our wedding present vouchers!

Obsolutely nothing on the MS front - just the way I like it. I am getting a little nervous now, mid August in 2008 and 2007 but I am hoping to buck the trend again this year! Touching wood on a regular basis however.....!

Sunday morning

2009-07-19T08:40:00.002+01:00

It's 08:35 on a Sunday morning and I am up watching Gladiators! I did go to bed before 10pm last night as I was very tired and had another migraine. After doing really well for the last 10 days or so I have had a migraine, Thursday, Friday (this one came back later as well) and Saturday. I will now go through my food diary and see if anything has changed......

I picked up Propanolol to try as a prophylactic for the migraines yesterday so figers crossed that will work. I have dropped my dose of Amitriptyline down by half, mainly through necessity due to forgetting to ring for the repeat prescription, but also as I don't think I need it as an anti-depressant any more, I have been sleeping on the lower dose and am not getting problems with pain in my legs or a slightly dodgy bladder. I am seeing a GP in 2 weeks to discuss how I get on with the Propanolol so will discuss the Amitriptyline as well. Apart from anything else having several medications gets expensive (must remember to get a prepayment card)!

I have now been taking Alli for 11 days. I think I have lost around 8 pounds in that time. I have missed a few tablets, 2 last weekend as I didn't get up to eat breakfast and my Mum and Dad visited Friday evening for dinner and I didn't take one then - I don't think it was horrendous, I just didn't want to have to count everything. I have been experiencing 'leakage' as I call it, which is lovely..... It isn't unmanageable and I think is mainly down to the home made cake I have been eating small pieces of throughout the week. The cake has all gone now so back to proper snacks with low fat amounts from now on.

We actually had an indian last night and I was brave and took a tablet. I had chicken shaslik, half a bread and a poppadaum. Hopefully not too bad!

Throughout this week B and I have been designing a new website for the Thames Valley branch of Lifesavers. It is still a work in progress but we are getting there! Something we can do together, I did volunteer B for the job of getting the site up and running and so far it's gone from an expired domain name (which remains expired) to an up and running website. It turns out web design is fun!

Alli

2009-07-11T09:14:00.002+01:00

On wednesday I started taking 'Alli'. It's orlistat, with a brand name, and is to help with weight loss. It works by binding to 25% of the fat in a meal preventing it from being absorbed - well that is my understanding anyway.

I had cut down the 10 days before (as recommended) but also managed to finish most of the higher fat items in the house over the evenings. With me it's all about it not being there to eat in the first place!

I can see how this helps people though. The packaging advises side effects such as wind, oily residue, diarrhoea and oily soft stools, therefore, as long as you keep taking the tablets self preservation sets in and you try to avoid overdoing the fat content at all costs! The starter pack gives you the calorie and fat target to stick to based on your weight and as I am VERY overweight I have a target of <19g fat per meal and 1800 calories over the day. So far I have eaten fewer calories each day but have been about on target for the fat at lunch and dinner.

You have to have a BMI of over 28 and it is a pharmacy only drug - you have to fill in a form - you can buy it online though! You have to fill in a form and your order has to be approved but that makes it even easier!

Anyway, I guess I will now be including a weight loss update on here. I know I need to loose weight, should my MS become problematic in terms of mobility in the future weighing what I do now will not help. Also, forgetting MS, my BP defies my weight at the moment but it won't forever. I am at a much greater risk of develping heart disease and diabetes in the future. I hear you say, anything could happen in the future, yes it could, but I don't want to be making anything that does happen worse!

On a different tack - I hope everyone is feeling some relief now the weather has cooled down a bit. My legs feel like my legs again and it is no longer a struggle to stay awake and use my brain in the evenings. Last weekend was interesting, the week was ok, an air conditioned building, but the weekend. B and I went out to do some shopping and by the time we were on the way home my brain seemed to have stopped functioning!! Still, shouldn't complain, it's nice to see the sun from time to time!

Moan when it's hot, moan when it's cold - can't please me...!!

2009-07-03T18:20:00.002+01:00

Well it has been a while. After getting married and going to Cardiff for a couple of nights it was all back to normal and back to work. Fortunatelt only for a couple of days before the weeked but then it was a month until we got to go on Honeymoon.... Still it went quickly!

We went to Turkey in the end. We chose a hotel in Belek and had a swim up suite. The pool which was outside our patio doors was a smaller pool and away from the main hotel so it was really nice, relaxing and quiet! We spent most of our time in and around the hotel with 4 excursions to see the sights. I really don't know what we did for 2 weeks really...!!!

The temperature in Turkey was between 30 and 39 degrees, sometimes it was 30 at 8pm. Fortunately it was a drier heat than here and we were able to go into air conditioned buildings and get into the pool to cool off. Now we are back in the UK it is too hot at 30 degrees! The heat here just has more of a humid feel to it. I also survived 2 weeks in Turkey with very little in the way of extra tingling but I now have a more definate change in sensation to my right leg and to some extent the left and it almost feels swollen, it isn't but it is just that tight sensation. Still could be worse!

I had my yearly appt with my neuro before we went away. Nothing new really, although I apparently better than I was last year - which I think is right as I had just had a relapse last time I went - ON. I got the impression my reflexes in my knees were a bit dodgy - only because they felt weird and were a bit brisk - not that I actually know!

Work is the same, very busy this week, but then I have just had 2 weeks off and 3 of the team are on leave.

I am now going to take this hot laptop off my lap and watch Murrey (hopefully) beat Roddick!

2 years....

2009-05-21T18:16:00.002+01:00

It's 2 years since my RRMS diagnosis, so much has happened since then. B and I have gone from strength to strength, through relapses, depression, job changes, a house move, burglary and other bits and pieces which have come our way.

We both started off in different job, B changed early on and I changed a year ago, my last day with the ambulance service was exactly a year ago - doesn't seem anywhere near that long, time has flown by! We have been in our new house over a year and in January 2008 we got engaged. We seem to have lurched from one life event to another - the vast majority of these events have either been positive, or have had positive outcomes - so a great coule of years all in all!!!

I am of course ignoring the MS. It wasn't easy between September and November last year, emotionally, but physically I have had a good year. I have a friend who was diagnosed around the same time as me and there is another person who's blog I read who have been inspiring to me and also make me think how lucky I am. They are both so positive and have had to deal with so many problems over the recent months - I am going to do my best to be like them!

Anyway, my point, 2 years down the line, I am married to a wonderful man, I have moved into a lovely house and I have a job which, isn't the old job, but I am making my own and I am enjoying, through all of which I have managed to remain in one piece, give or take the odd blip! All good!!

Now a Mrs!!!

2009-05-20T16:44:00.004+01:00

It finally came around, 16th May 2009 and I am now a married woman!! We had a lovely weekend, we came out of the ceremony and the sun had come out - the only time it did over the weekend I think!

The whole day went really smoothly and everybody seemed to enjoy themselves. I made it to 23:30, only 30 minutes before the end of the disco. I had hoped I would stay up late but I had had enough by then and decided to call it a day, and B came with me.

I have popped a photo on, but as yet don't have any of my own - borrowed this one from a friend of mine.

We have just been away for a few days to a nice hotel but because of Swine Flu we were unable to go on our actual honeymoon as planned. They cancelled our flight on Tues last week so we have reorganised for the future. It is costing us a little less so we treated ourselves to a 5* Spa Hotel for the last couple of days - was a nice relaxing break!

Hopefully I will be able to provide a link for further photos in the future.

Honeymoon......

2009-04-28T18:12:00.001+01:00

Guess where we have booked...... Well we have a while to go before we actually go so we are keeping our fingers crossed it all gets sorted out beforehand.

It couldn't all go smoothly could it!?!

Hen Party

2009-04-26T13:52:00.002+01:00

I had my Hen do this weekend. Was really great. My bridesmaid, T, did a great job organising it and we all had a great time. I attempted to drink a sensible amount in order to feel fine this morning but I obviously was not careful enough and felt terrible this morning after being woken up with a horrible headache. I took a triptan over my small breakfast and that got rid of the headache but my tummy still feels terrible and I am having hot flushes.......

We had a lovely day at St Anne's Manor, I had a facial and then sat in a jaccuzi for longer than I should have! Everyone else had a treatment and spent time relaxing. We then had dinner booked for 8pm - 3 course buffet. I was wearing a mini tiara and viel and flashing sash saying 'bride to be'! I was just what I wanted as a hen do, family and friends around me, relaxing, great!

I picked up B's Mum from the station Friday evening and we had a nice dinner and evening chatting. I took her back this afternoon and I was pleased at how well we managed!

Oh, almost forgot, when I got back from work Friday the doorbell rang and it was one of my neighbours asking if he could come in and rod the drains as they were backing up - nice. I of course let them get on with it and apparently they managed to do a reasonable job of getting it flowing again.

I happened to mention the cards we had been receiving for W and S, the husband and son in the family we bought the house from and that I thought something had happened to L, the wife, as nothing had her name on it. Apparently she had cancer when she was younger which was cleared, however she was diagnosed as having lung cancer which then moved to her brain, she died within 9 months, 10 months or so after they moved. She was 41, mother and wife, so very sad.

I am now sat on the sofa debating bed...... Very tired and feeling icky......

Not long to go......!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-21T18:25:00.004+01:00

As the title suggests we are now rushing very quickly towards our wedding date and associated honeymoon. It's all very exciting, well I think it is supposed to be anyway. I don't feel overly excited yet. Maybe it's all the planning and the 'will everything go to plan' thoughts. I am not sure I actually believe it is happening, although my bank balance certainly does......

I have had my hair and make up trials and had my nails done, all in one week - unsurprisingly enough it was a week of rushing from one thing to another. I am still having the first 15 of my Oxygen session which has made it hard to fit it all in, but I am also feeling better for it (I think, who knows..). I have officially stopped the accupuncture. I haven't had it for 2 odd weeks and have felt fine. I think all the improvements I was having were correcting things that had got worse the week before and could be put down to anything..... It is however one less thing to fit into my week, which is a relief.

The Oxygen Therapy is going well, I have had 9 sessions and feel fine throughout and afterwards, even with working half days beforehand. I am hoping to continue with it but will obviously have to have a discussion with work about the time off to do it......

The kittens are still idiots. Pepsi is now getting to be bigger than Whisky but then she does take after her father who was a big, sturdy looking black and white cat, Whisky takes after his mother who is a petite, mainly black cat. He is still a numpty but at least we can now get him off the flat roof without having to use the recycle bin as a lift.

MS wise - my fingers are crossed, I am touching wood and generally pleading with my body to behave as it is now - sensibly!!

Friday Cat Blogging

2009-04-18T00:54:00.001+01:00

Pepsi, originally uploaded by bryanrobson.

Pepsi, when she was 2 months old and not yet grown into her fur.

Oxygen (again)

2009-04-08T20:22:00.003+01:00

I have just had a look at Google Analytics - it appears that people are still looking at my blog, if only by accident, some people are reading though!

I went back to Oxygen Therapy on Monday. It seems to be going well. My ears are clearing fine, a little slower than pre cold but it's not hurting so that's all good. I am finding that whilst I am in the chamber I start to feel very tired, however I haven't been tired in general and even managed to get to the gym! I am keeping my fingers crossed that it helps, even if just a little. So many people have said how good it is.

I am in the process of getting an appointment to have my nails done - very friendly lady! Apparently for the look I want I need acrylic nails, which is fine, I had them before. I know my nails will end up atrocious but hey, they will look good!

I am now going to watch new season CSI on the sky+ box and eat a dairy free ice cream!

Mice anatomy

2009-03-28T17:00:00.003Z

So I still have the remnants of a cold, so have not been to oxygen therapy yet. I will have to redo a couple of sessions I had previously done which means I have to ask for a couple more half days from work..... The best laid plans and all that....

I am still having accupuncture which I am still sat on the fence about. I have had improvements in my migraines, my bladder function and my general level of tiredness but then I have had a cold and have been feeling generally grotty recently. Every improvment or otherwise I can put down to something other than the accupunture. I will keep it going until the honeymoon and see what happens.

I have also been given a pendant which is supposed to help with migraine but have yet to find a chain for it - must do that.....

Not sure if I have mentioned the mice, had a quick look back and can't see so I will do so now! We have, so far, binned around 13 mice. Initially we found about 5 in the kitchen one day, killed by the cats. We then started hearing noises in the loft so put 2 traps up there to see what happened. Over the course of around 4 weeks we have had about 6 mice, most of which seemed to have been killed outright by the traps. I have recently found a couple of corpses in the kitchen when I have got up in the morning, these corpses have comprised of head, spine, tail and intestines......really nice for first thing in the morning.... On the plus side B saved a mouse from Whisky Thursday night and let it go outside the fence. Apparently Whisky was growling at B for trying to take the mouse off him and Pepsi was hissing at Whisky as she wanted her turn to play.......

I have just decided on the piece of music I am going to walk down the aisle to - Alexander Glazunov's Concerto in E flat for Alto Saxophone and String Orchestra. The first 30 seconds is strings and then the sax soloist starts. 1 down, now only the rest of the day music to sort....!

We are getting lots of acceptances for the wedding, the rsvp date is the 1st April so we'll start to ask people if they are coming or not at the end of the week. There are a few people who I am guessing have assumed we know they are coming, which is probably fair enough but I am going to check just to be sure!

It's coming up sooooo quickly!!!!

Pissed off again.....

2009-03-16T15:35:00.002Z

I had a great weekend. We went out for B's birthday, had a lovely meal, drank to much wine and had some fun together! I felt terrible the day after, hang over, plus aching limbs (possibly self inflicted) and with a sore throat. Now the sore throat didn't make me think that I may have a cold or that that would be a bad thing when it came to the O2 therapy. For furture reference, any indication of a cold means pain under pressure.

This does mean that I have put the 2nd week of my O2 therapy until next week, hopefully the cold will go away and I will be able to get back to it then. As for today, well, I am still in pain and cannot hear properly but at least I have stopped feeling dizzy - meant I could get home.......

The rest of my day is a trip to see the nurse for a smear - something that always comes round, however much I would prefer it not to. Still with Jade's story in the news it would be stupid not to go. I'm not going because of that, just so happens I am due one.......

Might be able to find something for B's birthday in town, you never know.

Pissed off

2009-03-12T10:59:00.002Z

I am supposed to be going to High Dose Oxgen Treatment (as the MS Therapy Centre calls it) today but I woke with pain in my tummy and the associated unpredictable bowels..... I decided that being locked in a sealed chamber under pressure with no quick escape route was a bad plan, not to mention the possibility of passing it on to someone else if it is a virus. I have also cancelled my meeting with the second ex colleague of mine. Very disappointed and pissed off.....

On the plus side, oh, no wait, there is not a plus side. Time to feel sorry for ones self.....!

We wormed the kittens last night. Needles to say it was stressful for all involved and vast quantities of treats were used as a bride so as to be forgiven..... The new tablets we've got are bigger than the ones from the vets, they are cheaper, but it's not worth it..... They ate the tablets in food last time, they weren't interested this time. They learn quick when they want to!

Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy

2009-03-09T16:57:00.004Z

I had my first session today. Don't feel any different, but then I thought I was getting a migraine this morning and it didn't materialise! It was a strange experience but it wasn't a bad one. I got a bit bored, will take sudoku and my MP3 player tomorrow as I found it really difficult to concentrate on a book. MP3 players are the only pieces of electronics that can go into the chamber, even had to take my watch off.

First of all they got be sorted - as a newbie they settled me in and showed me what to do with the mask, then everyone else filtered in and they closed the door. We went down quite slowly to half way, one of the ladies ear's hurt so we went back up a bit, then went down again to the full depth planned. My ears were very well behaved. The left ear, as usual, was a little slower to clear than the right but was much better than I thought it would be. Can't say I am looking forward to having 15 sessions over the next few weeks but hopefully it will be worth it.

Afterwards I met A, a friend from 'old' work, for lunch. It was really great to catch up with her, and I also got all the goss from work. Needless to say she advised me of a huge scandel and also said how horribly busy they always were and how bad morale is. I am realising I am better out of it at the moment! Still miss the people though. I am meeting another friend from 'old' work this week and am really looking forward to it.

I am also fitting in 2 accupuncture sessions and a visit to my GP this week.....

I started my day in Bride to Be having my first dress fitting. I is having to have quite a lot done to it, taking in the bust and taking it up. The dress has a lot of detail which will take them some time to do and is therefore costing quite a bit.... It has to be done so there is no point in worrying about the price..!!!!!! I looked great once she had pinned it up and my necklace really helps with the fact it is strapless and I now don't think I need straps, which is an extra cost averted!

Mum will need to come with me for my second fitting so she can learn how to do it up. I hope she likes it in the different colour.

Oh, forgot to mention that I will need to find some chicken fillets to fill out the bust a bit more....

Other wise things are going well, Mum has organised the favours and the make-up and we had our menu tasting last night. We have decided on a menu but the chef wasn't told (by the wedding planner) about my lactose intolerance so as yet I haven't tasted a pudding.... I was very disappointed but it wasn't their fault. They are going to make me a tarte tatin of some description, which I like!

Health wise I am not doing badly at the moment! General tiredness but nothing horrendous and am doing quite well in terms of symtoms and migraines. I had a migraine on Thursday, but hadn't had one since Wednesday the week before and, touch wood, have not had one since. And MS symptoms remain the normal background ones, I am pretty pleased!!

Dress

2009-03-01T11:06:00.002Z

My wedding dress is in!!!! It's about a month earlier than they said, which is great, they have more time to do the alterations - if it had come in at the end of March as they estimated originally it would have been a bit close to the wire. I have an appointment in around a week to have my first fitting so I have to organise my underwear. I'm not sure whether I will be able to wear a bra with it as the back is quite low, but we will see. I have ordered two bra's, two pairs of knickers and some tights from two different places; Honeymoon Collection and Marks and Spencer, so hope something will arrive by my fitting.

We have had the first go at our wedding list as well. It was quite good fun, scanning the items we would like, but it was also hard making decisions as to what to add...... We had a free cup of coffee and a cake as well! Perfect afternoons shopping. We have a few more things to add to the list, so will go back at some point in the near future - I am having my make-up appointment at John Lewis soon so maybe I'll do it then.

It's coming together!

Time...

2009-02-21T09:55:00.002Z

...it seems to be running away at a phenominal rate at the moment. I never seem to get the time to blog anymore and I suppose the better I feel the less I feel the need to blog - that is a good thing!!

I am still only experiencing my background MS symptoms which is great and I have now been back at work full time for two weeks. It has been tiring as I have been on shortened hours since October and B and I have been very busy in the evenings but I am adjusting and managing well. I don't think I am unusual in having fairly long winded relapses but I think the average is somewhat shorter. I also have more in the way of sensory symptoms remaining than I thought I would have - although a lot of the remaining symptoms relate to my relapses in 2007 - I have a slight change in sensation to my lower legs and hands/forearms which just seem to remain at a level which doesn't have an impact but is enough to remind me the feeling isn't normal...... Still, the bits that matter to me - like my vision, have always returned to pre relapse normality eventually.

My migraines however have not had the decency to get any better. I am still on the increased dose of Amitriptyline (50mg) to try and help with them but I am now averaging two a week. Yesterday I had one at work that didn't respond to the medication so had to leave work early. I hate having to do that, I haven't had to since reduing my hours. I guess with how busy I (we) have been alongside going back to full time hours, added to the terminally boring meeting in a warm room it was just waiting to happen.

On the subject of terminally boring meetings......! I have discovered that the beginning of the year has even more meetings than the rest of the year. Company Kick Off, Claims Kick Off, Customer Care Division Kick Off, plus the normal quarterly meetings, I question the need for all of these.... I will say again that working for the UK arm of a big american corporation has some definate pluses but the overload of meetings is a definate downside...... Work on the whole however is very good at the moment. I am going to have Zurich and a section of Virgin Media as my only clients which is great. I think the broker for Virgin Media are harder work than Zurich but it will again be good experience and a different one to Zurich.

Work are again being very accomodating. I am going to be having Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy at the MS Therapy Centre and have been given the time off to attend for the 11 sessions I need to have initially. I am taking leave for the first 4 days so I am meeting them some way with the time off I need. I am also having Accupuncture at the moment. I have only had two full sessions and the initial assessment and so far have felt worse rather than better.... Still I am going to perservere for a while longer.

The kittens are getting big now and are spending time outside every day. We haven't been able to get them fully outside yet as it is too cold to leave the door open for them to get used to using the litter tray outside and then going to the toilet outside and they still haven't got the hang of getting into the garage through the cat flap...... Whisky has been outside of the garden a couple of times now. He hasn't worked out how to get back in as yet so we have to go to the back gate and let him in, silly kitty!

As for the wedding - it's only about 2 1/2 months away - how did that happen...... We don't have a lot left to do really, well I suppose it is quite a lot but a lot of little things. All the big main things are done, things like table dressing and where to get the beer from are left. I also need to have a dress fitting or two once the dress arrives, at the last minute (I did decide to get a dress at the last minute..). I have asked Mum to organise the favours as she has more of idea than I do and I hadn't really delagated anything. Tomorrow we are going to look at Nan's cake books and decide what sort of thing we would like. Well I say we, most likely I!

We have booked a date to try the menu's and wine with both sets of parents which should be good and our stag and hen do's are pretty much there. I am having a nice relaxed day and evening at a fairly local hotel with around 10 friends and family and B is going to Newcastle for the weekend to get very drunk two nights in a row and to go gocart racing. Good job it's a few weeks before the wedding. A friend of B's is getting married a couple of weeks after us so his stag do is the week before our wedding - B better come back in one piece!

Oh, on the subject of other weddings, have I mentioned my boss is getting married two hours before me? It's quite funny really, we keep being asked (tongue in cheek) if 'we' are getting married! Two different venues and times so I think we are safe!

Engagement seems to be the thing for end 2008, beginning 2009. 3 couples in B's circle of friends are now engaged after being in long term relationships - lots of weddings this year!

I was on the MS Society message boards this morning and discovered a new MS blog; Me, Myself and Tysabri, which as it sounds is a blog about a journey through her treatment with Tysabri. Tanya has so far had one infusion of Tysabri and has since had treatment with steroids for a further relapse. She sounds a lot like me in some ways, she is trying to recapture aspects of her life before MS, which is, I suspect, a trial for all of us dealing with the diagnosis of a life changing medical condition, however slight or major that change is and whatever the medical condition.

I was also reading an article in Open Door, the MS Trust publication, which was titled 'Twenty something and MS'. It again rings many similarities for me. I know I shouldn't have defined myself by my job, but you know what, I did, so when I took the decision that I couldn't do it anymore and took a new job I spent about 7 months thinking I had given up and saying that the physical aspects of MS were the reason for leaving. I now think that I took the decision for good reason. I had changed, even out there on the road. My confidence was diminished both times I came of the road and I wasn't as good at my job anymore. Couple that with having all the responsibility on the ambulance the vast majority of the time meant that I didn't feel emotionally stable or confident enough to go back on the road. Physically, who knows, I may have been able to manage but I would have been back off the road again within 5 months with the confidence seeping out of me again. It's actually quite hard to accept that I didn't give up, I chose to leave for good reason, just not the reason that is easier, to admit to not being good enough at the job to be making decisions about people's health is harder than blaming it on physically not being able to do it anymore.

I think now that physically I probably wouldn't be able to manage for more than a month at a time. I have found it hard enough working in a sensible sedentary role over the last few months. If things get better maybe I will try and go back to it, who knows. I have been able to reliably go to Lifesaving and play my clarinet which is great, a life outside of work. Is it worth it? I am adjusting my outlook on life and coming to terms with not defineing myself by my job. It has got easier over the last few months and it helps that I am again good at a job that I am enjoying and am rewarded with good reviews for the hard work. It isn't the same as my old job but I will always have that experience.

I suppose the point is, that I think I am now moving away from the old definition of me and carving out my new definition, for want of a better word, which is more than a job. It does of course include my role and my ability to do it well but now includes other, more important things like lifesaving, playing my clarinet and of course the man I will, fairly shortly, be marrying.

So after my indulgent ramble (the benefit of writing a blog - sort out the rambling thoughts!) I will now go get myself sorted and start a belated Saturday (it's about Midday...!).

New Year 2009

2009-01-12T16:51:00.002Z

Again, I am a little behind! I hope everyone had a good New Years and enjoyed what you did? I had a nice quiet night at a friend of B's and just about made it to midnight before driving home, having a glass of red wine and going to bed. It was a nice evening and the hostess had found a pizza without cheese on it which was great!!

So what's new around here? Some sad news first, Plum, my hamster died over the weekend. She was only 18 months old but had got very thin over the last 4 months, was eating normally and was drinking a lot of water. I am guessing she had something wrong somewhere, possibly something like diabetes, but in the end she went to sleep and didn't wake up. She was curled up in bed when I checked on her so at least she was peaceful. I had a little cry about her and still well up now but I know they don't live long and she had a good life with us, including a weekend exploring under the upstairs floorboards and taunting the cats!

As for our other pets, Whisky and Pepsi have now been neutered. I don't think Whisky actually noticed he'd had an op and Pepsi is having to learn to wonder round with a cone on her head to stop her ripping out her stitches. She has adapted very quickly though and is now managing very well!

Over the weekend T and I went shopping for her Bridesmaid dress. It was a long day with around 4 hours of wondering around. We nipped down to Newbury Manor first to remind ourselves of the colour scheme and then went to Reading to shop. We got a dress from Monsoon in the end but Trish tried on clothes in BHS as well wondering round a few other shops in our search. I still have loads of stuff to do for the wedding and only 4 or so months to do it in...... Scary!! B has to book an appointment with the Grooms Room, which is attached to Bride to Be where I got my dress, so he can organise what the boys are wearing.

We had new patio doors fitted today, something we decided on after the burglary. They look good but we need to move the step.....hadn't thought of that.

Other than that things have been good! My dose of Amitriptyline has been increased and I've stopped taking the Topiramate for the migraines as Amitriptyline can help prevent them as well! My 4 in 1 drug is now 5 in 1. My MS symptoms are back to being background symptoms which is good. This relapse lasted a while but not as long as the one in the back end of 2007 so I'm quite pleased about that. Some bits of it were worse but in general it wasn't any worse than previous relapses so maybe the Rebif is doing something.

Right, must go to the vets with Pepsi.....

Merry Christmas

2008-12-29T14:13:00.002Z

To all! It is of course after Christmas but having been away for a couple of days and over to Mum and Dad's place for the second round of Christmas this is my first opportunity. B and I went up to Bridlington for Christmas this year, our first Christmas together and I fancied a quieter one than I knew we'd get at my parents. It was really nice and I'm glad we went but I really missed my family Christmas morning, enough to have a little cry...!

Pepsi and Whisky went to spend Christmas with Mum and Dad which went really well considering their cat is 13 years old and very much the Queen of the house. Whisky was very interested in Cocoa and Pepsi hissed at Cocoa a lot but they basically kept apart and things went well. They both climbed the Christmas tree's at both houses, but were generally well behaved! We went round to Mum and Dad's yesterday to have 'Boxing Day' dinner and tea and to give/open our presents. It was a very different day to our actual Christmas and Boxing Day and it was great to see the family.

We brought the kitties home that evening as well. We have noticed some behaviour on Pepsi's part which is making us nervous so we have brought Whisky's pre-op appointment forward a week and are keeping them separated when we aren't in as we don't want any kittens. Whisky fortunately seems oblivious to her behaviour and just wants to play still, but we are not taking any chances!!

I am feeling much better and my wellness has been commented on by B's parents. Apparently I appeared a lot better than last time they saw me. I think just the fact I am sleeping well is making a huge difference still. I will visit my counsellor the second week of January and then may see her every other week rather than weekly. I am hoping to start increasing my hours gradually in the New Year, get back to full time hours fairly soon.

I have recently sent off my paperwork to the DVLA for my C1 yearly renewal and have been told I have to have a visual field test at the hospital. I know there won't be a problem as my eye sight and visual field are fine. It's just a pain having to jump through hoops to keep things..... I know it's a good thing really........ I probably wouldn't bother but I spent £800 getting that license and I would like to keep it.

Anyway, I have to go off to get induced to a gym, it'll be soooooo much fun!!

Kittens update

2008-11-21T18:49:00.002Z

Ok, so I didn't manage yesterday but Friday isn't bad going!! So after all of the initial burglary stuff I realised that Pepsi, our female kitten wasn't very well. She had become very quiet, withdrawn, had weepy eyes and was sneezing. To cut a story short we took her to the vets and were told she had Chlamydia....... Off we trot with anti-biotics and instructions to take her back the next week, earlier if needed and keep an eye on Whisky. Well Whisky started to get symptoms over the weekend so B took them both in on the Mon and we then had anti-biotics for both of them......this also meant we had to delay their second round of vaccinations for a week. They both seem fine now and are growing into lovely (destructive) little cats!!

As for me I had a meeting with my rehab consultant and my manager to discuss reducing my hours slightly. This was done about 5 weeks ago and I am now working 6 hours a day instead of 8 to give me the chance to get home, get some light exercise, have a nap and then maybe cook dinner or tidy something as I really hadn't done anything in ages. Although I am finding that I am managing better because of the shorter days I don't think I feel better for it yet but I think that may be something to do with having a low mood, being anxious and not sleeping properly.

On that track I decided to give in and go to my GP and ask for help. I am having counselling through the MS Therapy Centre which she thought was really good but she agreed that I could do with something else so I am now on Amitriptyline. This should work as a four in one drug for me helping lift my mood, helping me sleep, doing something to my bladder and helping with the nerve pain in my bum and legs. All round good stuff!!

More to follow!!

I'm back!!

2008-11-19T13:52:00.002Z

It's been just over a month since I last posted and quite a bit has happened.... On that basis I may take small chuncks and write smaller posts otherwise I will get board writing and you will get board reading, if anyone ever comes back that is.........

Oh, on a quick aside it was lovely to read that Emma of Me, Myself and MS has had a baby daughter, Ava. Congratulations!!

So to my month. Shortly after my last post, during the night I woke to go to the loo at around 05:00, went back to bed and then heard a cupboard door, I thought, kittens don't open cupboard doors and so decided to go downstairs and make sure everything was ok. Well everything was not ok, we had been burgled. The kittens were in the living room, the TV was gone and the patio door was open. All wrong things. Fortunately the kittens were ok and the burgerlers were gone (I heard a car leaving when I got dowstairs) so other than the initial swearing and 'shock' no one was hurt.

I shouted for B, my handbag was missing so I went to confirm that the car I heard going was mine, which it was and then we called the Police. Over the first few minutes we worked out that my car, both laptops, the TV, my handbag (inc phone, wallet, keys, satnav, diary etc) B's camera and B's laptop bag were missing. It could have been worse as I disturbed them before they got round the whole of the kitchen but it was bad enough.

I had been off work the Monday and Tuesday due to a migraine and then didn't go in on the Wednesday due to having no transport. Needless to say being burgled has done nothing for my sleep patterns, stress levels or symptoms.... Having said that things are sorting themselves out now. I was sleeping better, I guess I'm now not due to having more people in the house at the moment and I have had my car back and have already part exchanged it for a used automatic astra. It's very nice, 7 months old, very easy to drive!!

The home isurance cogs are also turning slowly we may get our stuff replaced eventually!!

I think I'll leave that as chapter one of this last month and I'll try and add another short chapter tomorrow.

The unbearable cuteness of kittens

2008-10-11T08:52:00.002+01:00

m
The unbearable cuteness of kittens
Originally uploaded by bryanrobson

These two cuties are Pepsi and Whisky! They arrived to live with us last Thursday (2nd October) so have firmly taken over!! So far they haven't recked anything, touch wood, but they aren't allowed many places on their own...

We have been to the vets once for vaccinations, worming, general check over and blood tests for FIV and Leukemia (because their Dad is a stray) and although we weren't popular it went well and they were as good as gold when we were with them. Apparently Pepsi nearly hit the roof when the blood tests were done but that is understandable.

(I am currently being attacked by Whisky who is not usually this playful......!!!)

Plum (the hamster) doesn't seem to care about the presence of the cats and is going about her daily trial to try and escape from her cage. The cats aren't allowed in the living room when we aren't around as that is Plum's home and we need to sort her cage out a bit better before we can trust it not to be break-out-able...... At the moment it has numerous pirex dishes on top of it as she can lift the top up. Little bugger she is (and it is a poorly designed cage.....).

The fish apparently are quite interesting but have only been looked at. The one's in the kitchen have actually been left alone entirely.

Other than these two the holiday was really good, we good some really good weather considering what it had been like. Was really good to see my Aunty V in Wensleydale and as always the cheese factory was great!!

Unfortunately my relapse didn't continue to get better but decided to get worse...... It hasn't moved around much which is good, but my right leg has become more numb again, to the point where my balance has been affected, my right arm/hand is also more numb and is causing some pain by the end of a days typing, also the right side of my head is numb! Never had a numb head before, it also itches which is really nice....! And the normal tiredness and bladder problems that go with my relapses. Still it could be worse and I'm only annoyed as I was hoping it was getting better nice and quickly for once.......

Having said all that I noticed that my leg seemed a bit better yesterday so I am going to just keep my fingers crossed at some point before Xmas things return to normal (for me).

So all in all am actually feeling positive and better in myself at the moment. Still having moments and am planning to continue some counselling at the MS Therapy Centre. I have also had Physio recommended to help with my balance so hope to do that there as well.

I am going to go now so I can get harassed some more before I go off for my flu jab!

Fancy Goldfish

2008-09-18T18:24:00.002+01:00

Apparently algae eater fish suck on the tails of fancy goldfish! We therefore don't have any algae eaters in the new tank as our new goldfish are fancy. Shame really... Anyway, the tank water looks terrible. Its strange (and life really) but the tank that just got thrown back together when it was moved is clear as a bell, looks great. The tank which has been set up properly with all the right chemicals and waiting time before fish looks terrible....... Oh well, I'll change over some of the water tomorrow and see how they go.

Got my first Getting to Grips with MS session tonight. Not sure what to expect so will let you know.

Work is going well, they gave the trainee (me) a Premier customer to look after........still if I pull it off it'll look good!!

Follow on

2008-09-13T10:27:00.006+01:00

So following on from my last post I thought I would write a quick update.

I also wanted to thank Ann for her comments. I am a bit useless at asking for help as I like to do things myself but I am learning to!! B does do a lot around the house. I spend a lot of time watching him cook dinner and he has been cleaning out our hamster on his own recently - he is very good!!

I saw the counsellor on Wednesday. She was very nice. I wasn't sure what to say so she explained a bit about what she was there for and what she did and then I started and she basically guided me through talking about my worries and what had been going on in my mind recently. Amongst all the more trivial things I realised that leaving my job has had a big impact. The biggest problem being the thoughts of what might have been. This relapse has, I think, been the penny dropping time as well. I was waiting for the penny to drop when I was diagnosed and it didn't. I think it has, to an extent, now. We ended with me saying that I felt guilty for feeling sorry for myself as I wasn't bad with MS, I have a great fiance, family, friends and house and a reasonable job. She said it was ok to feel sorry for myself. Still not convinced but then that's me, that will always be me. I am however feeling much better in myself.

As for the wedding. The invites have arrived. Mum and Dad have some of the Save the date cards to send and I will be gathering all the oustanding addresses and handing all of them and the day and evening invitations over to Mum and Dad for them to organise. I have delegated the label organising and printing to B as well!! I could get used to this!! For those wondering it is May 2009 so we have plenty of time to go yet!!!

Just as an aside I was having problems with algae in my fish tank. Have been since we moved so I thought well, lets get a new tank (£30) and a couple of algae eater fish and see how we get on. Well I got the new algae eater fish and put them in the old tank and then set the new tank up so it could mature a bit. Well I was staring at the old tank on Wednesday (5 days later) and realised I could see through it! The algae had more or less gone. Now a week later the tank is pristiene!! I would recommend them to anyone having an algae problem in a cold water tank. I got 2 algae eater fish and they are about an 3 cm long each. Amazing!!!! Its absolutely amazing. So we are planning some new fish for the new tank as we don't need to bin the old one!

I am also a happy bunny as my relapse appears to be settling (not quite go as far as to say getting better but..) already and it has only been 3 weeks since it started. I just hope it doesn't start roving round my body like they have in the past.

:O)

Admitting

2008-09-07T10:36:00.003+01:00

I need help. In so many ways, at the moment, I need help. It's an interesting concept especially when I count myself as very resilient, mildly effected by MS and very lucky in so many ways. But at the moment it sometimes feels all too much.

I noticed the week before last that I was getting very tearful very easily but put that down to the fact that as normal my mood had dropped with the onset of a relapse. As the week went on I realised it was worse than it was than last time and that I was worrying about how much I was moaning about it all to B, making me more tearful. I contacted my MS Nurse about the relapse and the tearfulness and she provided me with the number of a counselor from the local MS therapy centre. I am hoping that all I need is someone to talk to as I am feeling fine some of the time and am seeing her next week for a chat.

I am finding it hard to get things done at the moment so am worrying about things not being done (viscious circle....). I needed to get fliers out for an event I have been helping to organise and that was worrying me, I needed to get save the date cards printed and sent out for the wedding and there is always so much that needs doing around the house....... So I decided to take stock and following a conversation with my parents I have ordered all the wedding invitations including the save the date cards. I did the fliers in stages and B and I have decided not to buy anything else that needs actioning for the house so I don't feel bad about it not being done.

I was really not enjoying my job which was not helping - that has improved grately over the last week as I have my own work to do now so fingers crossed that won't be a big problem for the time being.

So, although I am not as good as I'd like to be I am taking steps in the right direction. The hardest part of all this was realising that actually what I was feeling wasn't right and that I could do with some help to help me get some perspective on things and to make sure I don't get myself into a proper pickle without realising it. I never thought I would need help. I am strong, I bounce back - and I will again - just with a little help (nearly broke into a Beatles song then.....!!!!) :o)

Over doing things

2008-08-25T08:02:00.002+01:00

Its interesting, when I was diagnosed I was told to listen to my body. This advice was from both the professionals and those actually dealing with MS. I was also told it would take me a while to actually do this. What wasn't mentioned is that you actually have to anticipate your body telling you to stop because if you wait until it tells you it is too late.........

Having a bit of a feeling sorry for myself weekend, well moments over the weekend. I have had a few weekends now where I have done things that have taken me a week to get over, even when I do listen to my body. I was thinking yesterday morning, I don't want this to happen for the rest of my life - at which point I realised that it would. This morning has not been helped by the fact that for the second BH weekend running B has left his alarm on and woken me up early in the morning but too late for me to get back to sleep. I may not talk to him today.

I have my new drugs to try and stop me having migraines - Topiramate - the GP seemed perfectly happy to prescribe them and had even had a quick read up of my case! Great! I have done really really well with my GP's so far, although I think she may be a locum - one day I'll see a permenant GP at that surgery......!

I went to a wedding last weekend. A friend from Uni so it was a bit of a reunion! It was a very nice wedding and very good party afterwards!! It took me until Friday to recover from having a few drinks and staying up until midnight so I won't be doing that again. It was my first week doing my proper job this week so it was quite hard working properly whilst feeling pretty grotty all week. Still I survived and will learn from my mistakes!

This weekend was a work weekend. I invited Mum and Dad around for a gardening day and we worked on the front garden which is now looking great! Mum also cleaned most of the inside of the house in the afternoon while 'we' were putting the bark down! I have great parents and I can't thank them enough for their hard work this weekend. :o)

Last week......

2008-08-12T17:58:00.002+01:00

......of training - in a lot of ways I am looking forward to getting onto the shop floor and doing the job but in others I am really worried about whether I am going to enjoy the job and what I am going to do with my life in the future. I may love the job, I doubt it, but I am going to give it a go. The other factor at the moment is that I have a job and lets face it, leaving a job in the current climate may not be a sensible idea.

We had a week working at our desks with mentors last week. I am guessing the training environment may be causing some of my problems with migraines. I have been feeling much much better over the last 10 days but the last 2 in training I have been starting to feel unwell again. Still only a couple of days left until the training is over and I can do my new job. On the subject of migraines I have finally received a letter from my MSN re the suggested prescription to try and prevent them. She had sent it to the address I lived at 2 addresses ago...... Never mind, I have an appointment Monday morning so hopefully I will get what has been suggested.

I'm all good re the MS still. The usual bits and pieces are hanging around but they are becoming more and more the 'norm' - which is slightly depressing but I am getting used to the idea now - its only been 15 months!!

Oh, back to work, they have allocated me a parking space at the building where I work rather than a 5 minute walk up (or down) a hill, away! That was much quicker than I expected so fingers crossed the other bits and pieces are arranged quickly.

What else.....? Oh, we went to the Great British Beer Festival on Friday. It was just the 2 of us but we had a good time. Plenty of beer, a burger and some pig bits were consumed over around 7 hours!! Needless to say I paid for it the next day but took it easy enough over the weekend and appear to be ok so far this week - if a little headachy at work.

Over the next few weekends we seem to be quite busy and not with house related stuff, real pain, would like to get some housey stuff done really. Still I am going to watch a friend get married next weekend (without B!!) so am really looking forward to that. Busy busy!!

Notice

2008-08-02T19:19:00.003+01:00

We gave notice of our wedding on Monday! Seems very real now! We both had a half day on Monday so we could fit in with their opening times and had a nice afternoon together.

Work is ok, I had a better week this last week. Not as tired and only 1 migraine. I haven't had the cc letter from my nurse yet so I will have to chase that. Want to get something from the GP before I decide I don't need it, well I have already done that as I haven't had a migraine since Tuesday, but will decide I need it again when I have another migraine sometime next week..... I have a meeting soon with the Vocational Rehab Consultant looking after me and my manager to talk about me and any adaptions that can be made to help me at work. I am hoping they will be as good as I am hoping and that I get everything I would like - such as a parking space, new chair, new mouse/keyboard and a fan for my desk. I guess having fallen over on the way to the work overflow car park I will get the parking space without much question!

I had a good night last night (and shopping trip today) with a couple of friends from Uni. It was great to catch up with all the comings and going. I can't believe one of them is trying for a baby. So scary and grown up!!

The most exciting news of the week as that we have booked our honeymoon!!!!! Two weeks in the sun!!!!!!!!!!

MS - is behaving itself still. With the humidity at the moment my right eye isn't getting the chance to fully clear up so continues to cause me problems on and off and again with the humidity the tingles are more irritating. Other than that all good!!

I fell over....

2008-07-24T17:19:00.002+01:00

.....on Monday and I have one small bruise to show for it.......

Other than that I had another migraine yesterday and I am waiting for a letter from my MS Nurse with a suggestion for a prescription to try and reduce the number I am getting.

So much fun........

Tired = Migraines = naff week.......

2008-07-19T08:50:00.003+01:00

I've had a somewhat busy couple of weeks which I think may have led to my being totally exhausted for all of this week.

Lat Friday was the Unum Summer Party, which was very good, had a couple of drinks but not too much - we had £40 worth of drinks vouchers between us - generous company! We went to our hotel room at around 12:30 which is really very late for me and were then up and out by 09:00 for shopping and getting home as we were expecting a bed delivery from Argos.

We then managed to get quite a lot done over the rest of the weekend, cleaned out Plum and the fish - they really needed a clean! We also painted the 3rd bedroom, Mum came over and helped as well! After all that I felt alright but this last week has just been really, really hard work.

Had a migraine on Monday but I got rid of that and had my first ever golf lesson! We had dinner out after that so got back half 9 ish - when I went to bed. Felt ok, if tired on Tuesday but had to go to Dorking for the day. The drive was quite tiring but on the way back I took the opportunity to pop into Bracknell Ambulance Station. There were loads of people there so it was really great to see everyone. Only problem was that on Wednesday when I got home from work having had another migraine, having a headache and being really, really tired I ended crying about what I'd left behind, the migraines, the fact that I was crying and feeling ill AGAIN and why would B want to be with me. All that sort of fun stuff. I was just very very tired and felt much better after getting some sleep. I've been in bed by 20:30 for three nights in a row now so am catching up slowly.

So all in all a pretty naff week. I have emailed my neuro about getting some medication to try and prevent the migraines - from posting on the MS Society board beta blockers look like they might be the way forward, but I will wait for Dr W's advice.

We are out tonight at a friends Wedding Reception but I don't plan to be out late and as I am driving I can leave when I like!! I have decided a short trial without alcohol may be a good idea to see if there is any reduction in migraines/headaches. I started a week ago after the Summer Party and will drink again on the CAMRA Beer Festival we are attending at the beginning of August. May also be good for the weight loss!

Anything else interesting? Work is going well although it is going to take some time for me to adjust to a desk job. I had an ergonomic assessment on Monday and will probably be getting a new chair if not a couple of other things. We are going to organise another meeting to discuss both reports and then include my line manager. Other than being tired I'm not having MS problems which is great - just need to get a handle on the migraines.......

Tired.....

2008-07-07T21:13:00.002+01:00

I am tired tonight. I think spending the day in London on Saturday playing crazy golf (27 holes over two courses) may have something to do with it.....! It was a good day though. Pub then golf, then pub then golf, then pub then food, then home seemed to work for me! Paying for it today though.

Work is going well. The training is still quite full on, although we have pretty much a whole week with our mentors this week. My mentor has just got back from A/L so having me pestering him has got to be annoying. I have been told off for saying sorry though, so I won't do that anymore.

I have an ergonomic assessment booked for the beginning of next week and then the plan to try and ensure I stay in work will be discussed and put in place - I hope. We are visiting the 'Open Door' centre next week so will see the place that deals with functional capacity and does all the work place testing etc. Will be good to see what they can do.

Anyway, other than that not a lot is happening. My Nan is having a pretty tough time at the moment due to several things but the rest of the family seem fine and everyone is rallying round Nan so she'll be fine.

Right, I am off to bed!!