Baby Poppy*

I had a superb shift yesterday, had one great job and the rest were ok. We had a baby!!! D and I received a further emergency at around 10:07 back to Bracknell from Ascot. The job had already been waiting 10 minutes for us to clear from hospital. We had been going a couple of minutes before we got the job details, Maternity call, contractions every minute, waters broken. There were no other details, we would have liked to know weeks pregnant, how many children and whether there was a midwife on the way.

Now I never believe the contractions every minute statement, it usually equates to contractions every now and then and waters probably not broken, me and my cynical thoughts....... D on the other hand was telling me we'd be delivering a baby, and was excited about it.

When we arrived I was looking for the house number, then I heard a scream, looked round and saw a youngish bloke come out of a door and start waving at me. That'll be the house then..... D got the entonox, I got the response bag and we headed in. Our pt was on all fours in the hallway, her waters had broken and after a minute her next contraction happened, very rudely only a minute after the last. The partner said 'she's booked into Frimley', I said 'I'm sorry but we're not going anywhere!! It took a little longer than that but I decided fairly swiftly that we would have to stay and have the baby at home rather than run the risk of trying to make it to hospital. I contacted control and requested a midwife then went to assess things closer.

At this point D was getting everything organised, bags, inco pads, oxygen etc etc. D has done this before, I haven't therefore I was quite happy for her to get on with things! On close inspection, has to be done...., there was definite bulging on every contraction meaning things weren't going to take that long.

I rang control back after 10 minutes to get an update on an ETA for a midwife and was told yes one is on her way. 5 minutes later she arrived, I was very very very (etc) pleased to see her. She got to business and assessed our pt, agreeing that birth was imminent. She commented on the fluid present saying that it was muconium, where the baby passes feces due to distress. I thought it was just blood and amniotic fluid but the midwife is the expert. Another 5 minutes later the door bell rings again, another midwife! Superb!!

After the arrival of the second midwife there was very little for D and me to do. We tried to stay out of the way and got bits and pieces for the midwives, including out HX Entonox cylinder as the pt had used the 1 1/2 CD cylinders we had........ They found the baby's heart beat and then tried to make sure the pt's cervix was dilated fully. This was difficult due to the position the pt was in but the decision was made to get the pt to start pushing. At this point the first midwife decided that the fluid was in fact blood and amniotic fluid so there was no worry there.

After a bit of position adjustment our pt began to push effectively and the baby made her way fairly swiftly into the world, the midwife actually had to hold her back to try and avoid tearing. At 11:09 baby Poppy appeared after around 7 hours of labour. Seeing as this was our pt's first baby I hate to think how quick any more will be!!!

Anyway, Mum and Baby were fine and we left once everyone was settled. A good job all round! I am now much happier about the prospect of delivering a baby, got to watch the professionals!!

Spent the rest of the day smiling!!!

Roller coaster, coming up!

So, roller coaster goes down, roller coaster comes up. I hate roller coasters.........

Since my last post I am feeling better. I went to work and spoke to my supervisor about the stupid decision I made, well actually I burst into tears and then spent the next 20 mins either crying or nearly crying. I should say sorry to D my Supervisor who bore the brunt of me getting a lot off my chest.

I have been referred back to my Occi Health Dept by my manager as I have been off sick for a week and had two shifts when I have been home from work sick since I went back to work at the end of July. I am very rarely off sick...... I see their point but I want to make it clear that I have no intention of making permanent decisions about my future at the moment. I need to be given the chance to work the short shifts, get over this relapse and give the meds a chance to work. I fully understand I may have to make decisions about my future that I don't like but now is not the time.

So feeling better, have had a couple of good shifts at work - may write about a couple of jobs soon - and am more positive!! I wonder how long till the next dip........ ;o)

Stupid decisions......

Life seems to be a bit much at the moment. After all the positivity when I got over the last relapse it all seems to have gone pear shaped. It doesn't help that I was stupid at work last night as well.

After two weeks off and a lovely weekend away (which I will elaborate on) I went back to work for three day shifts, 0830/1800. On the 3rd shift I developed a headache which eventually turned into a migraine. I have never experienced anything like it. B had to come and pick me up from work, I have always been able to drive myself home with a migraine. I burst into tears in the crew room, S had to ring control and let them know I was going sick (thirty mins before the end of my shift...) and D had to ring B for me as I was crying too much.....

Once I got home I went to bed, felt like I was dying (I know overly dramatic but I wanted to rip my head off) and eventually felt able to take tablets and then felt a bit better by 11pm.

Unfortunately the migraine tipped me over the edge at work, cried there, cried on the way home, cried with B on the sofa, cried with B in bed. I then asked him to leave me to it as I needed to sleep. I am now wondering if I should be doing my job, if I can do my job, do I want to be doing my job...... I know its all because I'm not coping well at the moment, as I am sure I have said before I hope I will feel differently sometime soon.......I really do........ I felt sooo much better after two weeks off and going back to work has undone most of that.

I just hope I have a better shift at work tonight as that will help my confidence there and make me feel happier. I just don't know what to do with myself at the moment.......

I'll write about my weekend away, it might cheer me up....... We went to Shrewsbury, a Mercure Hotel, for two nights, just us, for a dirty weekend! We left before lunch on Friday and took a leisurely drive up the country. We stopped in Shrewsbury for 'supplies' and a coffee and then went on the hotel. The grounds were gorgeous and the hotel looked like a country manor. The room was really nice as well, the bed wasn't as big as the one in Bristol but big enough! We ate in the hotel both nights, lovely food!! We went out Saturday for a few hours to Hawkstone Park and Follies - lots of walking up and down hills and steps, which I managed without a problem - very pleased with myself!!

On the Saturday we had been together 9 months, for 5 of those we have been joined by MS and I have been having problems for 7 months - where did I find him hey?!? Anyway, both evenings before and after dinner it was just us, together, chatting, cuddling, being naughty. It was lovely, just what I, we I think, needed.

Oh, brain not functioning, have no idea what to do with myself.......................

Now a weeks leave!!!

Following my week off work sick my vision is starting to get better. I drove for the first time since last Sunday yesterday (6 days!!) and hardly noticed the fact that my vision isn't 100%. I've been getting around 10 hours sleep a night and have done very little! I went for a walk on Thursday down to the shops, out for about an hour and a half but shopping in between. Was extremely tired that evening.......!!

S rang after speaking to my neuro, she said that the fact the pain has gone means that it should be getting better so no steroids - which I am pleased about. The decision being taken out of my hands was the ideal thing to happen! She wants to see me in clinic in a couple of weeks time, not sure why, we will see!!

B and I had a BBQ for friends Sat night. Nothing special just a few friends, some BBQ food and a few drinks. Everyone left before midnight so was a quiet evening!!

So this week while I am on leave I will be continuing the theme from last week! Doing very little, hair cut and seeing my parents, Drs appt, band rehersal and hopefully an indian meal and catch up with a friend I haven't seen in a while!