...it seems to be running away at a phenominal rate at the moment. I never seem to get the time to blog anymore and I suppose the better I feel the less I feel the need to blog - that is a good thing!!
I am still only experiencing my background MS symptoms which is great and I have now been back at work full time for two weeks. It has been tiring as I have been on shortened hours since October and B and I have been very busy in the evenings but I am adjusting and managing well. I don't think I am unusual in having fairly long winded relapses but I think the average is somewhat shorter. I also have more in the way of sensory symptoms remaining than I thought I would have - although a lot of the remaining symptoms relate to my relapses in 2007 - I have a slight change in sensation to my lower legs and hands/forearms which just seem to remain at a level which doesn't have an impact but is enough to remind me the feeling isn't normal...... Still, the bits that matter to me - like my vision, have always returned to pre relapse normality eventually.
My migraines however have not had the decency to get any better. I am still on the increased dose of Amitriptyline (50mg) to try and help with them but I am now averaging two a week. Yesterday I had one at work that didn't respond to the medication so had to leave work early. I hate having to do that, I haven't had to since reduing my hours. I guess with how busy I (we) have been alongside going back to full time hours, added to the terminally boring meeting in a warm room it was just waiting to happen.
On the subject of terminally boring meetings......! I have discovered that the beginning of the year has even more meetings than the rest of the year. Company Kick Off, Claims Kick Off, Customer Care Division Kick Off, plus the normal quarterly meetings, I question the need for all of these.... I will say again that working for the UK arm of a big american corporation has some definate pluses but the overload of meetings is a definate downside...... Work on the whole however is very good at the moment. I am going to have Zurich and a section of Virgin Media as my only clients which is great. I think the broker for Virgin Media are harder work than Zurich but it will again be good experience and a different one to Zurich.
Work are again being very accomodating. I am going to be having Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy at the MS Therapy Centre and have been given the time off to attend for the 11 sessions I need to have initially. I am taking leave for the first 4 days so I am meeting them some way with the time off I need. I am also having Accupuncture at the moment. I have only had two full sessions and the initial assessment and so far have felt worse rather than better.... Still I am going to perservere for a while longer.
The kittens are getting big now and are spending time outside every day. We haven't been able to get them fully outside yet as it is too cold to leave the door open for them to get used to using the litter tray outside and then going to the toilet outside and they still haven't got the hang of getting into the garage through the cat flap...... Whisky has been outside of the garden a couple of times now. He hasn't worked out how to get back in as yet so we have to go to the back gate and let him in, silly kitty!
As for the wedding - it's only about 2 1/2 months away - how did that happen...... We don't have a lot left to do really, well I suppose it is quite a lot but a lot of little things. All the big main things are done, things like table dressing and where to get the beer from are left. I also need to have a dress fitting or two once the dress arrives, at the last minute (I did decide to get a dress at the last minute..). I have asked Mum to organise the favours as she has more of idea than I do and I hadn't really delagated anything. Tomorrow we are going to look at Nan's cake books and decide what sort of thing we would like. Well I say we, most likely I!
We have booked a date to try the menu's and wine with both sets of parents which should be good and our stag and hen do's are pretty much there. I am having a nice relaxed day and evening at a fairly local hotel with around 10 friends and family and B is going to Newcastle for the weekend to get very drunk two nights in a row and to go gocart racing. Good job it's a few weeks before the wedding. A friend of B's is getting married a couple of weeks after us so his stag do is the week before our wedding - B better come back in one piece!
Oh, on the subject of other weddings, have I mentioned my boss is getting married two hours before me? It's quite funny really, we keep being asked (tongue in cheek) if 'we' are getting married! Two different venues and times so I think we are safe!
Engagement seems to be the thing for end 2008, beginning 2009. 3 couples in B's circle of friends are now engaged after being in long term relationships - lots of weddings this year!
I was on the MS Society message boards this morning and discovered a new MS blog; Me, Myself and Tysabri, which as it sounds is a blog about a journey through her treatment with Tysabri. Tanya has so far had one infusion of Tysabri and has since had treatment with steroids for a further relapse. She sounds a lot like me in some ways, she is trying to recapture aspects of her life before MS, which is, I suspect, a trial for all of us dealing with the diagnosis of a life changing medical condition, however slight or major that change is and whatever the medical condition.
I was also reading an article in Open Door, the MS Trust publication, which was titled 'Twenty something and MS'. It again rings many similarities for me. I know I shouldn't have defined myself by my job, but you know what, I did, so when I took the decision that I couldn't do it anymore and took a new job I spent about 7 months thinking I had given up and saying that the physical aspects of MS were the reason for leaving. I now think that I took the decision for good reason. I had changed, even out there on the road. My confidence was diminished both times I came of the road and I wasn't as good at my job anymore. Couple that with having all the responsibility on the ambulance the vast majority of the time meant that I didn't feel emotionally stable or confident enough to go back on the road. Physically, who knows, I may have been able to manage but I would have been back off the road again within 5 months with the confidence seeping out of me again. It's actually quite hard to accept that I didn't give up, I chose to leave for good reason, just not the reason that is easier, to admit to not being good enough at the job to be making decisions about people's health is harder than blaming it on physically not being able to do it anymore.
I think now that physically I probably wouldn't be able to manage for more than a month at a time. I have found it hard enough working in a sensible sedentary role over the last few months. If things get better maybe I will try and go back to it, who knows. I have been able to reliably go to Lifesaving and play my clarinet which is great, a life outside of work. Is it worth it? I am adjusting my outlook on life and coming to terms with not defineing myself by my job. It has got easier over the last few months and it helps that I am again good at a job that I am enjoying and am rewarded with good reviews for the hard work. It isn't the same as my old job but I will always have that experience.
I suppose the point is, that I think I am now moving away from the old definition of me and carving out my new definition, for want of a better word, which is more than a job. It does of course include my role and my ability to do it well but now includes other, more important things like lifesaving, playing my clarinet and of course the man I will, fairly shortly, be marrying.
So after my indulgent ramble (the benefit of writing a blog - sort out the rambling thoughts!) I will now go get myself sorted and start a belated Saturday (it's about Midday...!).
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Saturday, 21 February 2009
Monday, 30 June 2008
Rebif/Bon Jovi
I think its been 3 weeks since I started on the new version of Rebif. I wasn't convinced when I heard that you are no longer supposed to keep it out of the fridge for any real time. Also needs more planning for holidays, but I digress.
So I thought I would just go for it, got it out of the fridge while I prepared so the condensation had time to go and then injected it. I inject manually into my stomach and my thighs and use the auto injector for my bum. I have hardly felt it! I have injected it 9 times and so far the worst stinging I have had is about equal to the least stinging I had using the old stuff! Great, much more comfortable.
I don't do anything special when I inject, just inject it and take ibuprofen immediately after or before. I have found I need to take a couple of paracetamol when I go to bed otherwise I wake up with a headache but I guess that is my body adjusting to the slightly different formula.
So all in all a big thumbs up from me!
So what else have I been up to....... Finished painting the porch - the first room we have completed, it is our porch now! New curtains (for decoration) and a lick of paint, quick and easy. Work is going well, training still but getting into a more hands on bit where I am actually doing work and sending letters. We start on the medical training tomorrow, the liver and substance abuse as a starting topic, should be interesting.
I have had an appointment with the Vocational Rehab Consultant, she was very nice! We had a chat, I told her how I am affected by my MS and she made some suggestions. She thinks I should get a parking space at the office immediately as I have to walk up a hill for 5 minutes to get from the car park to the office and it causes my ON to get worse and I get pain in my legs. She has suggested an ergonomic assessment and a chair that promotes good circulation and that I should be able to work hours that ensure I don't have to spend a long time in the car - which would mean I don't ever stay till half 5. There is also a plan in place so that if I have a relapse some of my work is taken by others and if I have to get the train because of a relapse which means I don't feel safe driving I can shorten my hours slightly to compensate for the extra time! All very good, except some of the above will be noticeable to my colleagues and they may want to know why. Haven't decided what to do get. I guess I should do what means I feel good and well at work....... I will wait for her report. I do think it is positive that they are that interested and seem to be happy/willing to make reasonable adjustments from the beginning!
And the high point - I went to see Bon Jovi at Twickenham Friday evening, it was great! I have been a Bon Jovi fan since I was about 14 and wasn't allowed to go with my friends to see them when I was 15 so I had been waiting for this for 12 years! It was brilliant, they sang lots of greatest hits and lots of newer stuff. They were on stage for almost 2.5 hours! Great lights and clever LCD screen things, it was great!! Soooooo brill!! Can you tell I enjoyed myself!! I was lucky in that the seats in front were empty so even when the people in the rows further down stood up I could choose to sit down. I survived unscathed as well, late night but could sleep in the next morning so got enough sleep.
So brilliant!!
So I thought I would just go for it, got it out of the fridge while I prepared so the condensation had time to go and then injected it. I inject manually into my stomach and my thighs and use the auto injector for my bum. I have hardly felt it! I have injected it 9 times and so far the worst stinging I have had is about equal to the least stinging I had using the old stuff! Great, much more comfortable.
I don't do anything special when I inject, just inject it and take ibuprofen immediately after or before. I have found I need to take a couple of paracetamol when I go to bed otherwise I wake up with a headache but I guess that is my body adjusting to the slightly different formula.
So all in all a big thumbs up from me!
So what else have I been up to....... Finished painting the porch - the first room we have completed, it is our porch now! New curtains (for decoration) and a lick of paint, quick and easy. Work is going well, training still but getting into a more hands on bit where I am actually doing work and sending letters. We start on the medical training tomorrow, the liver and substance abuse as a starting topic, should be interesting.
I have had an appointment with the Vocational Rehab Consultant, she was very nice! We had a chat, I told her how I am affected by my MS and she made some suggestions. She thinks I should get a parking space at the office immediately as I have to walk up a hill for 5 minutes to get from the car park to the office and it causes my ON to get worse and I get pain in my legs. She has suggested an ergonomic assessment and a chair that promotes good circulation and that I should be able to work hours that ensure I don't have to spend a long time in the car - which would mean I don't ever stay till half 5. There is also a plan in place so that if I have a relapse some of my work is taken by others and if I have to get the train because of a relapse which means I don't feel safe driving I can shorten my hours slightly to compensate for the extra time! All very good, except some of the above will be noticeable to my colleagues and they may want to know why. Haven't decided what to do get. I guess I should do what means I feel good and well at work....... I will wait for her report. I do think it is positive that they are that interested and seem to be happy/willing to make reasonable adjustments from the beginning!
And the high point - I went to see Bon Jovi at Twickenham Friday evening, it was great! I have been a Bon Jovi fan since I was about 14 and wasn't allowed to go with my friends to see them when I was 15 so I had been waiting for this for 12 years! It was brilliant, they sang lots of greatest hits and lots of newer stuff. They were on stage for almost 2.5 hours! Great lights and clever LCD screen things, it was great!! Soooooo brill!! Can you tell I enjoyed myself!! I was lucky in that the seats in front were empty so even when the people in the rows further down stood up I could choose to sit down. I survived unscathed as well, late night but could sleep in the next morning so got enough sleep.
So brilliant!!
Wednesday, 11 June 2008
Yearly review
I had my yearly review appointment on Monday. It being my first one I had no idea what to expect. I asked my MS Nurse and she said it would be a review of the year and an opportunity for me to ask questions.
Firstly we went through what had happened symptom/relapse/life wise in the last year. He noted down everything, including my moving date and wedding date and my new job title. He commented that what I thought was one long relapse may well have been two at the end of last year (bit of a surprise) and that it had been a busy year.
He then did all the tests they can do easily, reflexes, finger to nose, pigeon steps, hopping on one leg, reading etc etc.
Then we discussed how I was getting on with Rebif, I asked a couple of questions. I asked about the migraines I am getting, we are going to leave further treatment and see how I get on as they seem to be under control, for now, and asked if this latest thing with my eye was a relapse - he said yes, which I thought it would be, just hoping it was more of an excaserbation.....
He rounded up by saying that he would like to leave things as they are and see how I get on. Said to let my nurse know if I have any relapses and gave me a bloods form, really useful at 5pm.......
Still it was a good appointment, he was thorough and helpful, listened and noted lots down!
Other than that I just don't seem to have had much in the way of down time. I am still unpacking and seem to be busy at the weekends, or relaxing...! The new job is going well so far. I am in training at the moment, 2nd week and I am coping well with it. I get home at a sensible time and am managing to go out or do things a couple of evenings as well. The ON is getting better finally. When it is humid the ON gets a little worse but the trend is towards it clearing. The normal tingling is there with the humidity as well but I guess that is par for the course now!
Oh, got to the new Rebif finally, first injection Monday evening. I will give my experience of it, and an overview of my technique to go with it sometime after my first week.
What else, well we are still unpacking, I have turned 27 and I am trying to drum up enthusiasm for getting back to Weight Watchers tonight.......
Firstly we went through what had happened symptom/relapse/life wise in the last year. He noted down everything, including my moving date and wedding date and my new job title. He commented that what I thought was one long relapse may well have been two at the end of last year (bit of a surprise) and that it had been a busy year.
He then did all the tests they can do easily, reflexes, finger to nose, pigeon steps, hopping on one leg, reading etc etc.
Then we discussed how I was getting on with Rebif, I asked a couple of questions. I asked about the migraines I am getting, we are going to leave further treatment and see how I get on as they seem to be under control, for now, and asked if this latest thing with my eye was a relapse - he said yes, which I thought it would be, just hoping it was more of an excaserbation.....
He rounded up by saying that he would like to leave things as they are and see how I get on. Said to let my nurse know if I have any relapses and gave me a bloods form, really useful at 5pm.......
Still it was a good appointment, he was thorough and helpful, listened and noted lots down!
Other than that I just don't seem to have had much in the way of down time. I am still unpacking and seem to be busy at the weekends, or relaxing...! The new job is going well so far. I am in training at the moment, 2nd week and I am coping well with it. I get home at a sensible time and am managing to go out or do things a couple of evenings as well. The ON is getting better finally. When it is humid the ON gets a little worse but the trend is towards it clearing. The normal tingling is there with the humidity as well but I guess that is par for the course now!
Oh, got to the new Rebif finally, first injection Monday evening. I will give my experience of it, and an overview of my technique to go with it sometime after my first week.
What else, well we are still unpacking, I have turned 27 and I am trying to drum up enthusiasm for getting back to Weight Watchers tonight.......
Wednesday, 21 May 2008
1 year on and last day at work
It was my last day at work today. I used to be an Ambulance Technician. I decided I would rather be able to have a life outside work than continue struggling through so here I am. I have a new job to go to but I will miss being out there doing the job.
Coincidently it is also one year to the day since I was sat in my neuros office being told I have MS.
I am pleased that I have finally made the decision and that my last day is over ready for my new start next week but I am also so very sad.
So from now on it is no longer Victoria Plum - Ambulance Technician, it is just Victoria Mary Plum. As of next week I am a Claims Management Specialist!!
Coincidently it is also one year to the day since I was sat in my neuros office being told I have MS.
I am pleased that I have finally made the decision and that my last day is over ready for my new start next week but I am also so very sad.
So from now on it is no longer Victoria Plum - Ambulance Technician, it is just Victoria Mary Plum. As of next week I am a Claims Management Specialist!!
Sunday, 18 May 2008
Two weeks on
Its been two weeks since we moved. Feels like we've been here for longer than that! I am doing ok. Really started to struggle at the end of last week and tried to take it easy last weekend - obviously didn't really and ended up a gibbering wreck by the end of Sunday but, at that point leart and just stopped. Since then I have been leaving work a little early to get home and nap and have watched B do all the unpacking and putting up of light fittings and coat racks etc..... I have felt really guilty but I have begun to feel better and happier again so I obviously needed to stop.
My right eye is staying the same really, ok most of the day and then as I start to get tired I start to notice it more and find it harder to look at the computer screen. Now for instance the screen is no problem, if I was doing this at 3 or 4 pm I would probably have to concentrate a bit harder. My MS Nurse says it is boarder line ON as I don't have any pain with it. I am sure it is ON but will see an optician if it hasn't started to clear up in the next month.
We had our house warming party yesterday. It was supposed to be a BBQ and garden thing but as the weather wasn't that good we spent most of the time inside - still managed to use the BBQ as it was dry most of the time. I have been up a couple of hours now and have cleared all the bottles up, loaded the dishwasher and washed all the glasses which are either too big for the dishwasher or not dishwasher safe. Still to look forward to - cleaning the BBQ and the patio where the fat dripped....... I will wait for B to surface before I start on that!
Still we had a really nice afternoon and evening. Only one of my friends could make it but loads of B's friends came. It was a sort of 2 session day. Those with kids came for a few hours in the afternoon/early evening and then those without kids came for the evening. We invited the neighbors and they seem to be really nice so thats a good start!
Oh, almost forgot, I got my blood test results this week! I have gone from a result of 123 (something to do with liver enzymes) to 66, which is apparently just above normal! My consultant has said I don't need another test for 6 months - I think I am due one in August but I'll see what they say at my appointment in June. I was really worried I would have to come off Rebif but I am really chuffed that everything seems to be returning to normal!!
On the subject of Rebif, I am hoping to get the new formula in my delivery on Wednesday. I was told I would get it last time but didn't and then got another letter telling me I'll be getting this time so we will see. Apparently you aren't supposed to get it out of the fridge before injection anymore as they can't guarantee its stability. I am reserving judgment until I get it and use it.
Lost 1lb at weight watchers over the last 2 weeks - thought I had put on so I was really chuffed!!
So my last day at work is coming up fast, then I have a week off, then I start my new job! Very exciting and sad at the same time. We are expecting B's parents soon and we all sorts of things still to do here. I MUST remember to pace myself!
My right eye is staying the same really, ok most of the day and then as I start to get tired I start to notice it more and find it harder to look at the computer screen. Now for instance the screen is no problem, if I was doing this at 3 or 4 pm I would probably have to concentrate a bit harder. My MS Nurse says it is boarder line ON as I don't have any pain with it. I am sure it is ON but will see an optician if it hasn't started to clear up in the next month.
We had our house warming party yesterday. It was supposed to be a BBQ and garden thing but as the weather wasn't that good we spent most of the time inside - still managed to use the BBQ as it was dry most of the time. I have been up a couple of hours now and have cleared all the bottles up, loaded the dishwasher and washed all the glasses which are either too big for the dishwasher or not dishwasher safe. Still to look forward to - cleaning the BBQ and the patio where the fat dripped....... I will wait for B to surface before I start on that!
Still we had a really nice afternoon and evening. Only one of my friends could make it but loads of B's friends came. It was a sort of 2 session day. Those with kids came for a few hours in the afternoon/early evening and then those without kids came for the evening. We invited the neighbors and they seem to be really nice so thats a good start!
Oh, almost forgot, I got my blood test results this week! I have gone from a result of 123 (something to do with liver enzymes) to 66, which is apparently just above normal! My consultant has said I don't need another test for 6 months - I think I am due one in August but I'll see what they say at my appointment in June. I was really worried I would have to come off Rebif but I am really chuffed that everything seems to be returning to normal!!
On the subject of Rebif, I am hoping to get the new formula in my delivery on Wednesday. I was told I would get it last time but didn't and then got another letter telling me I'll be getting this time so we will see. Apparently you aren't supposed to get it out of the fridge before injection anymore as they can't guarantee its stability. I am reserving judgment until I get it and use it.
Lost 1lb at weight watchers over the last 2 weeks - thought I had put on so I was really chuffed!!
So my last day at work is coming up fast, then I have a week off, then I start my new job! Very exciting and sad at the same time. We are expecting B's parents soon and we all sorts of things still to do here. I MUST remember to pace myself!
Wednesday, 13 February 2008
Catch up
Wow, how things move on. I don’t seem to have stopped for ever……. After B proposed we started looking at venues and getting round to telling everybody and then actually went to view a load of venues. We chose Newbury Manor Hotel, Newbury (doh) for a date in May 09, all booked and deposit paid. As soon as that was done I told everyone where it was and showed then the info and mentioned the no kids thing…. This bit went down better than expected but I can tell that my Nan wasn’t impressed. I think she was also disappointed that we are having a Civil Ceremony and not a Church one. Still people on the whole seem happy enough. I’ve had a few interesting conversations with my Mum about the guest list but we have come to an agreement, they pay for the wedding and they get to invite a few extra people. I thought that was a reasonable deal!! (Mum if you are reading this we are planning on adding money to the pot, promise!).
So after all that and the panic associated with having to wait until the next day to book it with the Wedding Coordinator and possibly losing the date we wanted, we started on the house front.
Mine seems to be coming together. The buyer is approved and all the paperwork should have gone in the post yesterday. I am definitely thinking that the end of March is possible!! Such a relief…….. B’s went on the market on the 31st January, the for sale sign went up on the 6th February and we had several offers by the end of the day on the 8th February. We accepted an offer from a first time buyer and the contract is already signed! We have been looking for the last week and a half or so. We have had several intensive evenings and an intensive weekend and viewed around 20 properties. We eventually walked into a property (that was on the market for 20k more than we could really afford) that we really loved and we put an offer in. It took all day but the offer was accepted at 5k more than we really wanted to spend but it’s a lovely house!
So after all of that I woke up today feeling really quite rotten….. B and I haven’t been in for the evening for a log time (well it feels like that) and I think my body knows it doesn’t have to do anything much today. The relief of getting those two things sorted has been immense; having said that I am assuming it’ll get worse close to completion time.
My MS seems to have behaved itself throughout though! I have the same little niggles and I guess a little more pain in my hand than I had before but nothing has got significantly worse. I count this as a bonus! I think as a result of having a very busy life I have been forgetting my date with a needle occasionally. I forgot Mon a few weeks ago and I forgot Mon this week as well. Still not a big panic as I just took it Tues, Thurs, Sat instead of Mon, Wed, Fri. Any other news for this catch up post? Nope don’t think so, I haven’t heard from Occi Health re my fitness for my job yet so I am still working at HQ.
That’s about it! Oh, feeling better and happier overall (ignoring today) than I have an a long time!!
So after all that and the panic associated with having to wait until the next day to book it with the Wedding Coordinator and possibly losing the date we wanted, we started on the house front.
Mine seems to be coming together. The buyer is approved and all the paperwork should have gone in the post yesterday. I am definitely thinking that the end of March is possible!! Such a relief…….. B’s went on the market on the 31st January, the for sale sign went up on the 6th February and we had several offers by the end of the day on the 8th February. We accepted an offer from a first time buyer and the contract is already signed! We have been looking for the last week and a half or so. We have had several intensive evenings and an intensive weekend and viewed around 20 properties. We eventually walked into a property (that was on the market for 20k more than we could really afford) that we really loved and we put an offer in. It took all day but the offer was accepted at 5k more than we really wanted to spend but it’s a lovely house!
So after all of that I woke up today feeling really quite rotten….. B and I haven’t been in for the evening for a log time (well it feels like that) and I think my body knows it doesn’t have to do anything much today. The relief of getting those two things sorted has been immense; having said that I am assuming it’ll get worse close to completion time.
My MS seems to have behaved itself throughout though! I have the same little niggles and I guess a little more pain in my hand than I had before but nothing has got significantly worse. I count this as a bonus! I think as a result of having a very busy life I have been forgetting my date with a needle occasionally. I forgot Mon a few weeks ago and I forgot Mon this week as well. Still not a big panic as I just took it Tues, Thurs, Sat instead of Mon, Wed, Fri. Any other news for this catch up post? Nope don’t think so, I haven’t heard from Occi Health re my fitness for my job yet so I am still working at HQ.
That’s about it! Oh, feeling better and happier overall (ignoring today) than I have an a long time!!
Wednesday, 12 December 2007
Going backwards.....
Went to work this morning despite feeling horrible and knowing that the feeling in my legs is getting gradually less and my balance is getting worse. I nearly rang in sick but thought, one more shift then I can get home and lie on the sofa for 4 days. When I got to work I kept thinking I shouldn't be there, and then when it came to starting work I ended up in tears and talking to my station officer. I am now on a couple of days sick and will go back to work on Monday on light duties, back to the same office I was in last time.
My legs feel the same as last time when they were bad but I haven't had the gradual change in sensation as last time, things have got worse very quickly. Still I'll spend some time on light duties, hopefully get better and get back to it. I think I'll have a proper think about what else I can do in terms of a job over the next few weeks. I have been thinking about it loosely over the last month or so but I haven't got anywhere.
So anyone any ideas.......I would like to work shifts but not nights and not past midnight and would like to get out and about but not as much as this job....... Ah well, I think I am employable so will find something if I have to!
My legs feel the same as last time when they were bad but I haven't had the gradual change in sensation as last time, things have got worse very quickly. Still I'll spend some time on light duties, hopefully get better and get back to it. I think I'll have a proper think about what else I can do in terms of a job over the next few weeks. I have been thinking about it loosely over the last month or so but I haven't got anywhere.
So anyone any ideas.......I would like to work shifts but not nights and not past midnight and would like to get out and about but not as much as this job....... Ah well, I think I am employable so will find something if I have to!
Monday, 3 December 2007
Couple of things
It's December, how did that happen.....? I am still saying its not Christmas from time to time but I am coming to the conclusion that I'll have to give in to it at some point. Even got the Christmas decorations out of the loft!
It's been one of those weekends, we were all very very busy, all crews late off every day......so good for the morale...... I started the weeks shifts badly with a migraine by about 9am Thursday and got myself in a pickle in the evening when feeling sorry for myself, asking for reassurance from B and him changing the subject nicely. I did then corner him in the car and tell him what he had just done and then cried....... He just expects me to know that his feelings don't change and that he is coping with me fine. He tells me regularly that he loves me but sometimes I'll ask for the reassurance and he doesn't always get why I need it. Still we chatted in the car as we do and sorted ourselves out. I hate being needy........
Anyway, had a couple of interesting jobs, an actual ill person and my first encounter with an MS pt on the road.
I'll start with the ill pt, I have see very few really ill people recently and then the one I do see I can do very little for him other than get him on the ambulance and get him to hospital quickly. We were given a description from control that led me to believe our pt would be having a CVA. When we arrived we realised there was a Dr on scene - nice to be told. We got upstairs (as always) to the pt and at that point I decided this was not going to be good. The GP handed over, yes CVA, onset of headache had been about 6 hours previously and the pt was now more or less paralysed on the left side. The GP very helpfully had written an unintelligible letter but neglected to do any observations or get the pt on oxygen. D went straight down for the chair, I put the pt on oxygen and checked his pulse and then asked the GP to hang around and help get the pt on the chair. The GP went and got his driver to help as well. There was no way I was waiting for another crew.
We got the pt on the chair and to the ambulance, he was still making some communicative effort but was very unwell. We rolled the pt onto his side in case he vomited, did obs and an ECG, got the wife on and got underway to hospital. After a couple of attempts I got through to control to put in the courtesy call, stressing the unwell nature of the pt.
On route the pt vomited a couple of times, the second time was about 5/7 minutes away from the hospital, I had to suction then checked the pts pupils again. He had a pin point pupil and a dilated pupil. I tried to get a response from the pt, he was now GCS 3. I tried to insert an airway but he had clenched his jaws and was at the wrong angle for an OP. When we arrived at hospital they had a team ready but called a few more people down once I told them he was GCS3 most of the time.
By the time we left he was tubed and ventilated and ready to go off for CT but not expected to survive. I had been honest with the wife on the way in so she was fully aware and had thanked me for being honest. Our pt was nearly 70 but had been doing a full time job the week before and playing golf on the good weekends, such a shock for everyone in the family.
When we went back the next morning with a pt I asked after him, I was surprised to find that he had survived the night but died the next morning. I wish there was more we could do but what...??
The lady with MS was not ill but relapsing and no longer able to cope. I found meeting her hard, I know MS has no guarantees of anything but the possibilities...... No longer being able to control your arms, legs, bladder etc...... I wasn't sure what to do with her but she was at the end of her tether and wanted to go into hospital so I took her to A&E and let them know that she was under the neurology team there. Another thing I found upsetting was that she knew very little about the condition she had been diagnosed with 9 years ago.
On my day off I managed to nearly finish my Christmas shopping and meet a friend for coffee, was a good day!!
It's been one of those weekends, we were all very very busy, all crews late off every day......so good for the morale...... I started the weeks shifts badly with a migraine by about 9am Thursday and got myself in a pickle in the evening when feeling sorry for myself, asking for reassurance from B and him changing the subject nicely. I did then corner him in the car and tell him what he had just done and then cried....... He just expects me to know that his feelings don't change and that he is coping with me fine. He tells me regularly that he loves me but sometimes I'll ask for the reassurance and he doesn't always get why I need it. Still we chatted in the car as we do and sorted ourselves out. I hate being needy........
Anyway, had a couple of interesting jobs, an actual ill person and my first encounter with an MS pt on the road.
I'll start with the ill pt, I have see very few really ill people recently and then the one I do see I can do very little for him other than get him on the ambulance and get him to hospital quickly. We were given a description from control that led me to believe our pt would be having a CVA. When we arrived we realised there was a Dr on scene - nice to be told. We got upstairs (as always) to the pt and at that point I decided this was not going to be good. The GP handed over, yes CVA, onset of headache had been about 6 hours previously and the pt was now more or less paralysed on the left side. The GP very helpfully had written an unintelligible letter but neglected to do any observations or get the pt on oxygen. D went straight down for the chair, I put the pt on oxygen and checked his pulse and then asked the GP to hang around and help get the pt on the chair. The GP went and got his driver to help as well. There was no way I was waiting for another crew.
We got the pt on the chair and to the ambulance, he was still making some communicative effort but was very unwell. We rolled the pt onto his side in case he vomited, did obs and an ECG, got the wife on and got underway to hospital. After a couple of attempts I got through to control to put in the courtesy call, stressing the unwell nature of the pt.
On route the pt vomited a couple of times, the second time was about 5/7 minutes away from the hospital, I had to suction then checked the pts pupils again. He had a pin point pupil and a dilated pupil. I tried to get a response from the pt, he was now GCS 3. I tried to insert an airway but he had clenched his jaws and was at the wrong angle for an OP. When we arrived at hospital they had a team ready but called a few more people down once I told them he was GCS3 most of the time.
By the time we left he was tubed and ventilated and ready to go off for CT but not expected to survive. I had been honest with the wife on the way in so she was fully aware and had thanked me for being honest. Our pt was nearly 70 but had been doing a full time job the week before and playing golf on the good weekends, such a shock for everyone in the family.
When we went back the next morning with a pt I asked after him, I was surprised to find that he had survived the night but died the next morning. I wish there was more we could do but what...??
The lady with MS was not ill but relapsing and no longer able to cope. I found meeting her hard, I know MS has no guarantees of anything but the possibilities...... No longer being able to control your arms, legs, bladder etc...... I wasn't sure what to do with her but she was at the end of her tether and wanted to go into hospital so I took her to A&E and let them know that she was under the neurology team there. Another thing I found upsetting was that she knew very little about the condition she had been diagnosed with 9 years ago.
On my day off I managed to nearly finish my Christmas shopping and meet a friend for coffee, was a good day!!
Friday, 23 November 2007
Ranty blog post.......
This may turn out to be war and peace so I won't hold it against you if you don't get to the end!
Let me tell you about a shift I had recently. By the end of my shift B (D was still on leave) and I had worked out that had the four people we attended that day, or their friends or relatives, thought about what they were doing we wouldn't have been needed by any of them.
Patient #1: Let me start with not the patients fault..... It was a call to an elderly lady with breathing difficulties, found in a bit of a pickle by the sheltered housing scheme manager. When we arrived she had taken her inhaler and was looking ok if a little short of breath. She was deaf as a post so it was hard going. Inside the pts NOMAD (drugs box) was a note from the pts daughter saying 'please help mum with her inhalers she is having trouble breathing'. My thoughts there, ring the Dr, your Mum shouldn't be having trouble breathing and may have avoided us dragging her into hospital with saturations of 88%........
Patient #2: Definitely the pts fault..... Woman in early stages of labour, has had gradual increases in blood pressure which has meant she has had to be seen by a consultant at another hospital rather than the one she is booked into. The consultant decides she is not suitable for a midwife led delivery and she is moved over to the care of the other hospital for a consultant led delivery. Today she goes into labour and rings the midwife led centre to see if she can go in. Over the phone she lies and says she has had no problems during pregnancy and has only ever seen midwives. She turns up at the midwife led hospital and is told she can't deliver there and as she is too far into her labour to go by car we have to go pick her up and take her to the other hospital. Now I wouldn't want to go to the other hospital but she had enough notice to up hospitals and book into a closer, nicer hospital, not just lie and turn up at a hospital you have been told you can't deliver at because you and your baby could be at risk.
Patient #3: Blame can be spread between three parties, my control, the supermarket and the pt. We got the job as pt feeling lethargic, stiff neck, pins and needles in hands feet and around the lips, aches all over. For starters the job should never have got to us. Next, we arrive and the pt is a young male, looking a little wiped out but GCS 15, well perfused and talking happily. He states that he just doesn't feel himself, feels weak and achy and very tired. We check him over, BP a little on the low side but then he was young and slim and temperature a little up (about 0.4 of a degree higher than mine), we then checked his O2 saturations and ECG, everything fine. The pins and needles was from all the deep breathing he was doing because he felt a little nauseas. We send him home in a taxi to be looked after by his girlfriend with instructions to see his GP. He most probably has a virus or something similar. He apologised for us being called but I get the impression he didn't do much to stop it. The real problem arose when the staff cancelled the taxi they had called the pt for him to go home and called an ambulance instead.......
Patient #4: Male, diagnosed with gastroenteritis three days previously, with SEVERE abdominal pain. When we arrived he was laying on the sofa, not in obvious pain but I'm not saying he wasn't in any. We checked him over from top to bottom and found nothing wrong. He had had diarrhoea for a while but was showing no signs of dehydration or ill effect. There was some tenderness on palpation of his abdomen but other than that nothing....... So I did the spiel, I can't see what is going on in there but I expect it to be as diagnosed, nothing more serious. He had had all the tests the hospital could do so what more could we do. Nothing had changed since the hospital visit it just hadn't got any better. I suggested they speak to the Dr about better pain relief and they said that they had spoken to the GP while we were on the way and he had said to let us deal with it. Thanks..... In the end the chap went to bed with instruction that they should visit the GP if nothing had changed after the weekend or earlier if necessary. Were we needed, nope not really.
I have to say with regard to any ambulance call that to dial 999 you must be worried therefore you will always get my full attention and all the tests I can do for you to ensure there is nothing worrying going on. I just wonder sometimes that's all........
The next day, apart from our first call and one in the middle which were 'B' cats, all our other emergency calls were given as 'A' cats. I know that two of them were 'A' cats and another was likely to have been but we didn't get there as we were stood down as there was a closer crew cleared down. All of these 'A' cat, eight minute response, calls came in when we were on base or close to base and were a good 10 minutes away down the motorway...... I think someone must have put something in the water........and there was an hours bed wait at the hospital throughout most of the day. This made me late off.........
Let me tell you about a shift I had recently. By the end of my shift B (D was still on leave) and I had worked out that had the four people we attended that day, or their friends or relatives, thought about what they were doing we wouldn't have been needed by any of them.
Patient #1: Let me start with not the patients fault..... It was a call to an elderly lady with breathing difficulties, found in a bit of a pickle by the sheltered housing scheme manager. When we arrived she had taken her inhaler and was looking ok if a little short of breath. She was deaf as a post so it was hard going. Inside the pts NOMAD (drugs box) was a note from the pts daughter saying 'please help mum with her inhalers she is having trouble breathing'. My thoughts there, ring the Dr, your Mum shouldn't be having trouble breathing and may have avoided us dragging her into hospital with saturations of 88%........
Patient #2: Definitely the pts fault..... Woman in early stages of labour, has had gradual increases in blood pressure which has meant she has had to be seen by a consultant at another hospital rather than the one she is booked into. The consultant decides she is not suitable for a midwife led delivery and she is moved over to the care of the other hospital for a consultant led delivery. Today she goes into labour and rings the midwife led centre to see if she can go in. Over the phone she lies and says she has had no problems during pregnancy and has only ever seen midwives. She turns up at the midwife led hospital and is told she can't deliver there and as she is too far into her labour to go by car we have to go pick her up and take her to the other hospital. Now I wouldn't want to go to the other hospital but she had enough notice to up hospitals and book into a closer, nicer hospital, not just lie and turn up at a hospital you have been told you can't deliver at because you and your baby could be at risk.
Patient #3: Blame can be spread between three parties, my control, the supermarket and the pt. We got the job as pt feeling lethargic, stiff neck, pins and needles in hands feet and around the lips, aches all over. For starters the job should never have got to us. Next, we arrive and the pt is a young male, looking a little wiped out but GCS 15, well perfused and talking happily. He states that he just doesn't feel himself, feels weak and achy and very tired. We check him over, BP a little on the low side but then he was young and slim and temperature a little up (about 0.4 of a degree higher than mine), we then checked his O2 saturations and ECG, everything fine. The pins and needles was from all the deep breathing he was doing because he felt a little nauseas. We send him home in a taxi to be looked after by his girlfriend with instructions to see his GP. He most probably has a virus or something similar. He apologised for us being called but I get the impression he didn't do much to stop it. The real problem arose when the staff cancelled the taxi they had called the pt for him to go home and called an ambulance instead.......
Patient #4: Male, diagnosed with gastroenteritis three days previously, with SEVERE abdominal pain. When we arrived he was laying on the sofa, not in obvious pain but I'm not saying he wasn't in any. We checked him over from top to bottom and found nothing wrong. He had had diarrhoea for a while but was showing no signs of dehydration or ill effect. There was some tenderness on palpation of his abdomen but other than that nothing....... So I did the spiel, I can't see what is going on in there but I expect it to be as diagnosed, nothing more serious. He had had all the tests the hospital could do so what more could we do. Nothing had changed since the hospital visit it just hadn't got any better. I suggested they speak to the Dr about better pain relief and they said that they had spoken to the GP while we were on the way and he had said to let us deal with it. Thanks..... In the end the chap went to bed with instruction that they should visit the GP if nothing had changed after the weekend or earlier if necessary. Were we needed, nope not really.
I have to say with regard to any ambulance call that to dial 999 you must be worried therefore you will always get my full attention and all the tests I can do for you to ensure there is nothing worrying going on. I just wonder sometimes that's all........
The next day, apart from our first call and one in the middle which were 'B' cats, all our other emergency calls were given as 'A' cats. I know that two of them were 'A' cats and another was likely to have been but we didn't get there as we were stood down as there was a closer crew cleared down. All of these 'A' cat, eight minute response, calls came in when we were on base or close to base and were a good 10 minutes away down the motorway...... I think someone must have put something in the water........and there was an hours bed wait at the hospital throughout most of the day. This made me late off.........
Tuesday, 20 November 2007
AAA
Yesterday I worked on a response car as D was on leave and had a good day, well apart from the lack of meal break and the migraine at the end..... I did several chest pain patients, one of which was back pain not chest pain, the other two were unlikely to be having anything significant going on as nothing was showing up on our 12 lead ECG.
The one with back pain was my most interesting job. I got there, walked and thought, oh this may be cardiac, he doesn't look very well. When I asked what the problem was it was back pain not chest pain. I asked a couple of questions about how the pain came on and if he had done any heavy lifting, he said no. He was quite pale and starting to sweat. He had a weak radial pulse on the right but nothing I could feel on the left. At this point I started to get twitchy so I popped him on 100% oxygen and took his blood pressure, which was 80 systolic. I thought, this may be a triple A, abdominal aortic aneurysm, which is a bad thing. When the crew arrived it was an experienced crew and they thought it may be kidney stones or something similar. I mentioned my thoughts to one of the crew and it was left as that. They gave the patient some morphine and popped him up the hospital.
I found out today from the crew that he had been transferred to the JR in Oxford that night for surgery on his AAA and did not look well. Obviously it is good for me to know I made the right diagnosis having never seen it before but I don't think they were expecting my patient to survive and I feel bad that I was right.......
Other than that I got soaked through at an RTC, even my knickers were wet........ I wish people wouldn't crash their cars when its raining (please, please, please....!!).
The one with back pain was my most interesting job. I got there, walked and thought, oh this may be cardiac, he doesn't look very well. When I asked what the problem was it was back pain not chest pain. I asked a couple of questions about how the pain came on and if he had done any heavy lifting, he said no. He was quite pale and starting to sweat. He had a weak radial pulse on the right but nothing I could feel on the left. At this point I started to get twitchy so I popped him on 100% oxygen and took his blood pressure, which was 80 systolic. I thought, this may be a triple A, abdominal aortic aneurysm, which is a bad thing. When the crew arrived it was an experienced crew and they thought it may be kidney stones or something similar. I mentioned my thoughts to one of the crew and it was left as that. They gave the patient some morphine and popped him up the hospital.
I found out today from the crew that he had been transferred to the JR in Oxford that night for surgery on his AAA and did not look well. Obviously it is good for me to know I made the right diagnosis having never seen it before but I don't think they were expecting my patient to survive and I feel bad that I was right.......
Other than that I got soaked through at an RTC, even my knickers were wet........ I wish people wouldn't crash their cars when its raining (please, please, please....!!).
Friday, 16 November 2007
dishy dishy dishy....!!
Just a quickie! My apologies to B but, oh my, we did a transfer from HWHL to WPH last night and the ITU Dr was, well, gorgeous!! He was good looking, flirty, funny and had a lovely accent! D (who is engaged and was trying to take off her ring) and I were grinning like Cheshire cats most of the way back from WPH! D inadvertently mentioned her fiance when we arrived at WPH but I remained single throughout!!
We only did the one job all night! Spent around 3 hours on cover at my parents house on soft sofas with freeview TV and cups of tea!! Still the world was going by without the need for our services so thats all good!
We only did the one job all night! Spent around 3 hours on cover at my parents house on soft sofas with freeview TV and cups of tea!! Still the world was going by without the need for our services so thats all good!
Thursday, 15 November 2007
Hips and Poo!
So, I am still somewhat bored, although I have had to use my brains, in conjunction with D's brains to extract some pts from their awkward positions.........
The title of this post really reflects what D and I have been to over the last few days. It all started with a faller. When we walked in I thought there was a strange smell which got worse as we got towards the bedroom. To cut a long story short we picked the pt up off the floor, started doing a few bits and pieces, watched her walk badly, realised she was dirty (unable to clean herself after the toilet) and started asking questions about the diarrheoa and suddenly, oh yes, she had C-Diff in February and the Dr says it hasn't fully cleared. The the pt piped up and said that she had had a sample tested and had that hospital bug........ I then flashed back to a colleague saying that C-Diff smells very distinctive and I thought that'll be it then.
The son who had turned up just after us was very little help, he cleared out her fridge while we were there and none of the food was in date, he said she hadn't asked for any food in a couple of weeks - well what was she eating?? When was the last time he had seen her?? The place was a mess, cold drinks, dirty clothes, feces on cushions, blankets, the carpet. What were the carers doing? She hadn't been to bed for a few days, again why was she left to live in that state??
Due to the surrounding issues I made the decision that the pt needed to be in hospital. She couldn't look after herself and it didn't look like she had the support to stay at home. The son even said, its easier when she's in hospital....... She lived in Wexham's PCT but was normally taken to Frimley so I rang control so they could contact Frimley and let them know I was coming in with a pt with C-Diff. More of a courtesy than a necessity so they could prepare. They were strangely nice when we got there. The staff at Frimley have a habit of looking at us strangely as we are from Berkshire not Surrey, add C-Diff on top and I expected a frosty reception but no, very friendly and accepting!!!
This is a major difficulty with pre-hospital care, especially for the elderly (and mental health problems...) as A&E, or even hospital, is often the wrong place for the pt, yet there is nowhere else for us to take them. Drs tend to be worse than useless (my apologies to the good ones - you are out there I know) and palm people straight back to us when a referral to a respite care centre or such could be the real solution. Admittedly C-Diff or the like will throw a spanner in the works for anyone.
Another two of our pts kept the poo title alive, another acopic pt with diarrheoa, although not C-Diff and a Drs urgent who was generally unwell and had an accident on the way to hospital......
As for the hips, one definite fractured neck of femur (the smack you in the face obvious type) and a couple of falls onto hips which were waiting for replacement. The first of which involved a Paramedic for pain relief (the one who turned up could also be classified as the comedy act!!) and some logical thinking and organisation (hmmmmmmmmmm(!)) to get the pt out comfortably. Good job and the pt was smiling by the end of it!
Next a couple of police stories. The first: I was driving (D not feeling well) and heading out of FPH grounds. A dark car came into the hospital drive followed by a police car on blues. I assumed the car was being pulled for speeding or the police car was on their way to A&E for something. The dark car ended up on my side of the road, I stopped, they stopped as I was in the way and then the driver got out and legged it, followed swiftly by the two cops...... We drove by, close the police cars door and then drove round the roundabout (waiting for another cop car on blues) and went back to have a nose. The driver was on the floor under a cop and a security guy and as we drove out again there were 4 or 5 police cars now parked on the wrong side of the road........wonder what was going on there and wonder whether they noticed the ambulance that drove round twice...!!!
Secondly, as I pulled into a parking space last night at home a car approached me and the window wound down, I assumed they were after directions so I wound down my window (probably silly at 2am...) and suddenly realised they were police in an unmarked car. The woman driving said, was I home, I said yes just got home from work. She said that she thought I had seen them, paused and pulled in so I didn't have to drive past them. I said no just deciding where to park due to the boyfriends parents car being where I normally park. They said goodnight and drove off. Only then did I think, why would I have noticed them they were in a black or dark blue Vauxhall (I think)........ Oh well, my first run in with the police on the road!!
Right, that is the end of war and peace. Me, well, after having migraine after migraine, I am feeling better this week. I have what feel like sun burnt legs (a new rather annoying but not problematic MS symptom, I assume) and am still tired but much better than last week. Was loosing my patience last week..... The OH's parents are here this week. They arrived on Saturday and leave on Saturday, they have been fine, I haven't seen much of them so far due to work so I am happy with that! They have decorated upstairs so that is looking nice and fresh, getting ready to sell next year.
Right I'll stop waffling now, back to bed for a nap before work!
The title of this post really reflects what D and I have been to over the last few days. It all started with a faller. When we walked in I thought there was a strange smell which got worse as we got towards the bedroom. To cut a long story short we picked the pt up off the floor, started doing a few bits and pieces, watched her walk badly, realised she was dirty (unable to clean herself after the toilet) and started asking questions about the diarrheoa and suddenly, oh yes, she had C-Diff in February and the Dr says it hasn't fully cleared. The the pt piped up and said that she had had a sample tested and had that hospital bug........ I then flashed back to a colleague saying that C-Diff smells very distinctive and I thought that'll be it then.
The son who had turned up just after us was very little help, he cleared out her fridge while we were there and none of the food was in date, he said she hadn't asked for any food in a couple of weeks - well what was she eating?? When was the last time he had seen her?? The place was a mess, cold drinks, dirty clothes, feces on cushions, blankets, the carpet. What were the carers doing? She hadn't been to bed for a few days, again why was she left to live in that state??
Due to the surrounding issues I made the decision that the pt needed to be in hospital. She couldn't look after herself and it didn't look like she had the support to stay at home. The son even said, its easier when she's in hospital....... She lived in Wexham's PCT but was normally taken to Frimley so I rang control so they could contact Frimley and let them know I was coming in with a pt with C-Diff. More of a courtesy than a necessity so they could prepare. They were strangely nice when we got there. The staff at Frimley have a habit of looking at us strangely as we are from Berkshire not Surrey, add C-Diff on top and I expected a frosty reception but no, very friendly and accepting!!!
This is a major difficulty with pre-hospital care, especially for the elderly (and mental health problems...) as A&E, or even hospital, is often the wrong place for the pt, yet there is nowhere else for us to take them. Drs tend to be worse than useless (my apologies to the good ones - you are out there I know) and palm people straight back to us when a referral to a respite care centre or such could be the real solution. Admittedly C-Diff or the like will throw a spanner in the works for anyone.
Another two of our pts kept the poo title alive, another acopic pt with diarrheoa, although not C-Diff and a Drs urgent who was generally unwell and had an accident on the way to hospital......
As for the hips, one definite fractured neck of femur (the smack you in the face obvious type) and a couple of falls onto hips which were waiting for replacement. The first of which involved a Paramedic for pain relief (the one who turned up could also be classified as the comedy act!!) and some logical thinking and organisation (hmmmmmmmmmm(!)) to get the pt out comfortably. Good job and the pt was smiling by the end of it!
Next a couple of police stories. The first: I was driving (D not feeling well) and heading out of FPH grounds. A dark car came into the hospital drive followed by a police car on blues. I assumed the car was being pulled for speeding or the police car was on their way to A&E for something. The dark car ended up on my side of the road, I stopped, they stopped as I was in the way and then the driver got out and legged it, followed swiftly by the two cops...... We drove by, close the police cars door and then drove round the roundabout (waiting for another cop car on blues) and went back to have a nose. The driver was on the floor under a cop and a security guy and as we drove out again there were 4 or 5 police cars now parked on the wrong side of the road........wonder what was going on there and wonder whether they noticed the ambulance that drove round twice...!!!
Secondly, as I pulled into a parking space last night at home a car approached me and the window wound down, I assumed they were after directions so I wound down my window (probably silly at 2am...) and suddenly realised they were police in an unmarked car. The woman driving said, was I home, I said yes just got home from work. She said that she thought I had seen them, paused and pulled in so I didn't have to drive past them. I said no just deciding where to park due to the boyfriends parents car being where I normally park. They said goodnight and drove off. Only then did I think, why would I have noticed them they were in a black or dark blue Vauxhall (I think)........ Oh well, my first run in with the police on the road!!
Right, that is the end of war and peace. Me, well, after having migraine after migraine, I am feeling better this week. I have what feel like sun burnt legs (a new rather annoying but not problematic MS symptom, I assume) and am still tired but much better than last week. Was loosing my patience last week..... The OH's parents are here this week. They arrived on Saturday and leave on Saturday, they have been fine, I haven't seen much of them so far due to work so I am happy with that! They have decorated upstairs so that is looking nice and fresh, getting ready to sell next year.
Right I'll stop waffling now, back to bed for a nap before work!
Friday, 2 November 2007
Bored......
I am getting bored at the moment. I know I shouldn't moan but I don't think I have seen an ill person at work in a while........ I have given out some oxygen and entonox but other than that....... Don't get me wrong, I don't wish that people are ill or get in accidents but it is what I am trained to do, highly trained professional me!!! Tee hee!!! ;0)
So I have seen my MS Nurse and Occi Health, nothing much to report from either really. S was interested in this latest relapse and how I was doing emotionally, I let her know what had been happening at work. She wants to see me again in January and I have to have my second lot of bloods done next week sometime. Occi Health did pretty much the same and wrote a report saying that the short shifts are a good idea and that I should have more than one day off between shift blocks, not that the latter will happen, hopefully, cause if it does I'll either have to come off the rota or loose money. They didn't want me to make any decisions about the future yet which was good. I was starting to worry about them saying I shouldn't be doing the job, or that I should be on light duties, you get the point!
Apart from feeling somewhat tired yesterday I seem to be doing quite well! My vision is much much better most of the time but it comes and goes depending on how tired I am, fortunately it doesn't make any difference to my vision unless I close my right eye so I can forget about it for most of the day.
Oh, I have started my appraisal at work. My team leader/supervisor D (the one I was crying on) seems to think I am doing ok and I am a useful member of the team!! He says that my biggest 'problem' is my lack of confidence in myself. I am forever worrying about the decisions I have made and if I make a mistake I beat myself up for ages. I must add that I have, to my knowledge, never made a mistake that led to a poor outcome for a pt. Apparently I am a lot like d when he was still relatively new, I should get better at the self confidence thing then!! Still got quite a bit of the appraisal to go so we will see what he thinks about me over the rest of it!
Thats it........bored bored bored..........
So I have seen my MS Nurse and Occi Health, nothing much to report from either really. S was interested in this latest relapse and how I was doing emotionally, I let her know what had been happening at work. She wants to see me again in January and I have to have my second lot of bloods done next week sometime. Occi Health did pretty much the same and wrote a report saying that the short shifts are a good idea and that I should have more than one day off between shift blocks, not that the latter will happen, hopefully, cause if it does I'll either have to come off the rota or loose money. They didn't want me to make any decisions about the future yet which was good. I was starting to worry about them saying I shouldn't be doing the job, or that I should be on light duties, you get the point!
Apart from feeling somewhat tired yesterday I seem to be doing quite well! My vision is much much better most of the time but it comes and goes depending on how tired I am, fortunately it doesn't make any difference to my vision unless I close my right eye so I can forget about it for most of the day.
Oh, I have started my appraisal at work. My team leader/supervisor D (the one I was crying on) seems to think I am doing ok and I am a useful member of the team!! He says that my biggest 'problem' is my lack of confidence in myself. I am forever worrying about the decisions I have made and if I make a mistake I beat myself up for ages. I must add that I have, to my knowledge, never made a mistake that led to a poor outcome for a pt. Apparently I am a lot like d when he was still relatively new, I should get better at the self confidence thing then!! Still got quite a bit of the appraisal to go so we will see what he thinks about me over the rest of it!
Thats it........bored bored bored..........
Friday, 19 October 2007
Baby Poppy*
I had a superb shift yesterday, had one great job and the rest were ok. We had a baby!!! D and I received a further emergency at around 10:07 back to Bracknell from Ascot. The job had already been waiting 10 minutes for us to clear from hospital. We had been going a couple of minutes before we got the job details, Maternity call, contractions every minute, waters broken. There were no other details, we would have liked to know weeks pregnant, how many children and whether there was a midwife on the way.
Now I never believe the contractions every minute statement, it usually equates to contractions every now and then and waters probably not broken, me and my cynical thoughts....... D on the other hand was telling me we'd be delivering a baby, and was excited about it.
When we arrived I was looking for the house number, then I heard a scream, looked round and saw a youngish bloke come out of a door and start waving at me. That'll be the house then..... D got the entonox, I got the response bag and we headed in. Our pt was on all fours in the hallway, her waters had broken and after a minute her next contraction happened, very rudely only a minute after the last. The partner said 'she's booked into Frimley', I said 'I'm sorry but we're not going anywhere!! It took a little longer than that but I decided fairly swiftly that we would have to stay and have the baby at home rather than run the risk of trying to make it to hospital. I contacted control and requested a midwife then went to assess things closer.
At this point D was getting everything organised, bags, inco pads, oxygen etc etc. D has done this before, I haven't therefore I was quite happy for her to get on with things! On close inspection, has to be done...., there was definite bulging on every contraction meaning things weren't going to take that long.
I rang control back after 10 minutes to get an update on an ETA for a midwife and was told yes one is on her way. 5 minutes later she arrived, I was very very very (etc) pleased to see her. She got to business and assessed our pt, agreeing that birth was imminent. She commented on the fluid present saying that it was muconium, where the baby passes feces due to distress. I thought it was just blood and amniotic fluid but the midwife is the expert. Another 5 minutes later the door bell rings again, another midwife! Superb!!
After the arrival of the second midwife there was very little for D and me to do. We tried to stay out of the way and got bits and pieces for the midwives, including out HX Entonox cylinder as the pt had used the 1 1/2 CD cylinders we had........ They found the baby's heart beat and then tried to make sure the pt's cervix was dilated fully. This was difficult due to the position the pt was in but the decision was made to get the pt to start pushing. At this point the first midwife decided that the fluid was in fact blood and amniotic fluid so there was no worry there.
After a bit of position adjustment our pt began to push effectively and the baby made her way fairly swiftly into the world, the midwife actually had to hold her back to try and avoid tearing. At 11:09 baby Poppy appeared after around 7 hours of labour. Seeing as this was our pt's first baby I hate to think how quick any more will be!!!
Anyway, Mum and Baby were fine and we left once everyone was settled. A good job all round! I am now much happier about the prospect of delivering a baby, got to watch the professionals!!
Spent the rest of the day smiling!!!
Now I never believe the contractions every minute statement, it usually equates to contractions every now and then and waters probably not broken, me and my cynical thoughts....... D on the other hand was telling me we'd be delivering a baby, and was excited about it.
When we arrived I was looking for the house number, then I heard a scream, looked round and saw a youngish bloke come out of a door and start waving at me. That'll be the house then..... D got the entonox, I got the response bag and we headed in. Our pt was on all fours in the hallway, her waters had broken and after a minute her next contraction happened, very rudely only a minute after the last. The partner said 'she's booked into Frimley', I said 'I'm sorry but we're not going anywhere!! It took a little longer than that but I decided fairly swiftly that we would have to stay and have the baby at home rather than run the risk of trying to make it to hospital. I contacted control and requested a midwife then went to assess things closer.
At this point D was getting everything organised, bags, inco pads, oxygen etc etc. D has done this before, I haven't therefore I was quite happy for her to get on with things! On close inspection, has to be done...., there was definite bulging on every contraction meaning things weren't going to take that long.
I rang control back after 10 minutes to get an update on an ETA for a midwife and was told yes one is on her way. 5 minutes later she arrived, I was very very very (etc) pleased to see her. She got to business and assessed our pt, agreeing that birth was imminent. She commented on the fluid present saying that it was muconium, where the baby passes feces due to distress. I thought it was just blood and amniotic fluid but the midwife is the expert. Another 5 minutes later the door bell rings again, another midwife! Superb!!
After the arrival of the second midwife there was very little for D and me to do. We tried to stay out of the way and got bits and pieces for the midwives, including out HX Entonox cylinder as the pt had used the 1 1/2 CD cylinders we had........ They found the baby's heart beat and then tried to make sure the pt's cervix was dilated fully. This was difficult due to the position the pt was in but the decision was made to get the pt to start pushing. At this point the first midwife decided that the fluid was in fact blood and amniotic fluid so there was no worry there.
After a bit of position adjustment our pt began to push effectively and the baby made her way fairly swiftly into the world, the midwife actually had to hold her back to try and avoid tearing. At 11:09 baby Poppy appeared after around 7 hours of labour. Seeing as this was our pt's first baby I hate to think how quick any more will be!!!
Anyway, Mum and Baby were fine and we left once everyone was settled. A good job all round! I am now much happier about the prospect of delivering a baby, got to watch the professionals!!
Spent the rest of the day smiling!!!
Monday, 15 October 2007
Roller coaster, coming up!
So, roller coaster goes down, roller coaster comes up. I hate roller coasters.........
Since my last post I am feeling better. I went to work and spoke to my supervisor about the stupid decision I made, well actually I burst into tears and then spent the next 20 mins either crying or nearly crying. I should say sorry to D my Supervisor who bore the brunt of me getting a lot off my chest.
I have been referred back to my Occi Health Dept by my manager as I have been off sick for a week and had two shifts when I have been home from work sick since I went back to work at the end of July. I am very rarely off sick...... I see their point but I want to make it clear that I have no intention of making permanent decisions about my future at the moment. I need to be given the chance to work the short shifts, get over this relapse and give the meds a chance to work. I fully understand I may have to make decisions about my future that I don't like but now is not the time.
So feeling better, have had a couple of good shifts at work - may write about a couple of jobs soon - and am more positive!! I wonder how long till the next dip........ ;o)
Since my last post I am feeling better. I went to work and spoke to my supervisor about the stupid decision I made, well actually I burst into tears and then spent the next 20 mins either crying or nearly crying. I should say sorry to D my Supervisor who bore the brunt of me getting a lot off my chest.
I have been referred back to my Occi Health Dept by my manager as I have been off sick for a week and had two shifts when I have been home from work sick since I went back to work at the end of July. I am very rarely off sick...... I see their point but I want to make it clear that I have no intention of making permanent decisions about my future at the moment. I need to be given the chance to work the short shifts, get over this relapse and give the meds a chance to work. I fully understand I may have to make decisions about my future that I don't like but now is not the time.
So feeling better, have had a couple of good shifts at work - may write about a couple of jobs soon - and am more positive!! I wonder how long till the next dip........ ;o)
Saturday, 13 October 2007
Stupid decisions......
Life seems to be a bit much at the moment. After all the positivity when I got over the last relapse it all seems to have gone pear shaped. It doesn't help that I was stupid at work last night as well.
After two weeks off and a lovely weekend away (which I will elaborate on) I went back to work for three day shifts, 0830/1800. On the 3rd shift I developed a headache which eventually turned into a migraine. I have never experienced anything like it. B had to come and pick me up from work, I have always been able to drive myself home with a migraine. I burst into tears in the crew room, S had to ring control and let them know I was going sick (thirty mins before the end of my shift...) and D had to ring B for me as I was crying too much.....
Once I got home I went to bed, felt like I was dying (I know overly dramatic but I wanted to rip my head off) and eventually felt able to take tablets and then felt a bit better by 11pm.
Unfortunately the migraine tipped me over the edge at work, cried there, cried on the way home, cried with B on the sofa, cried with B in bed. I then asked him to leave me to it as I needed to sleep. I am now wondering if I should be doing my job, if I can do my job, do I want to be doing my job...... I know its all because I'm not coping well at the moment, as I am sure I have said before I hope I will feel differently sometime soon.......I really do........ I felt sooo much better after two weeks off and going back to work has undone most of that.
I just hope I have a better shift at work tonight as that will help my confidence there and make me feel happier. I just don't know what to do with myself at the moment.......
I'll write about my weekend away, it might cheer me up....... We went to Shrewsbury, a Mercure Hotel, for two nights, just us, for a dirty weekend! We left before lunch on Friday and took a leisurely drive up the country. We stopped in Shrewsbury for 'supplies' and a coffee and then went on the hotel. The grounds were gorgeous and the hotel looked like a country manor. The room was really nice as well, the bed wasn't as big as the one in Bristol but big enough! We ate in the hotel both nights, lovely food!! We went out Saturday for a few hours to Hawkstone Park and Follies - lots of walking up and down hills and steps, which I managed without a problem - very pleased with myself!!
On the Saturday we had been together 9 months, for 5 of those we have been joined by MS and I have been having problems for 7 months - where did I find him hey?!? Anyway, both evenings before and after dinner it was just us, together, chatting, cuddling, being naughty. It was lovely, just what I, we I think, needed.
Oh, brain not functioning, have no idea what to do with myself.......................
After two weeks off and a lovely weekend away (which I will elaborate on) I went back to work for three day shifts, 0830/1800. On the 3rd shift I developed a headache which eventually turned into a migraine. I have never experienced anything like it. B had to come and pick me up from work, I have always been able to drive myself home with a migraine. I burst into tears in the crew room, S had to ring control and let them know I was going sick (thirty mins before the end of my shift...) and D had to ring B for me as I was crying too much.....
Once I got home I went to bed, felt like I was dying (I know overly dramatic but I wanted to rip my head off) and eventually felt able to take tablets and then felt a bit better by 11pm.
Unfortunately the migraine tipped me over the edge at work, cried there, cried on the way home, cried with B on the sofa, cried with B in bed. I then asked him to leave me to it as I needed to sleep. I am now wondering if I should be doing my job, if I can do my job, do I want to be doing my job...... I know its all because I'm not coping well at the moment, as I am sure I have said before I hope I will feel differently sometime soon.......I really do........ I felt sooo much better after two weeks off and going back to work has undone most of that.
I just hope I have a better shift at work tonight as that will help my confidence there and make me feel happier. I just don't know what to do with myself at the moment.......
I'll write about my weekend away, it might cheer me up....... We went to Shrewsbury, a Mercure Hotel, for two nights, just us, for a dirty weekend! We left before lunch on Friday and took a leisurely drive up the country. We stopped in Shrewsbury for 'supplies' and a coffee and then went on the hotel. The grounds were gorgeous and the hotel looked like a country manor. The room was really nice as well, the bed wasn't as big as the one in Bristol but big enough! We ate in the hotel both nights, lovely food!! We went out Saturday for a few hours to Hawkstone Park and Follies - lots of walking up and down hills and steps, which I managed without a problem - very pleased with myself!!
On the Saturday we had been together 9 months, for 5 of those we have been joined by MS and I have been having problems for 7 months - where did I find him hey?!? Anyway, both evenings before and after dinner it was just us, together, chatting, cuddling, being naughty. It was lovely, just what I, we I think, needed.
Oh, brain not functioning, have no idea what to do with myself.......................
Tuesday, 25 September 2007
Gave in.
So on Saturday morning I drove round to my flat and thought, I really shouldn't be driving. I drove again Sunday afternoon and thought the same, therefore Sunday evening I bit the bullet and called in sick. I have emailed S and she is going to talk to my Neuro and I think I may be offered steroids, I don't really want steroids but then I don't want to be off work for long. The good thing is everyone seems to agree that taking time to get better is a good idea and to continue going to work when I can't see properly through my left eye is a bad idea. I still feel bad about not being at work but I seem to feel much more at peace now I have made that decision and am not worrying about whether I should really be at work.
Went out for lunch with a friend today. She came and picked me up and we had a quick bite in town. I am now finding it more difficult to read without becoming distracted by the fuzzy bit to the left of my vision.... Still it was a nice lunch and I enjoyed catching up with A. She has had plenty to deal with over the last couple of years and things are finally sorting themselves out - I am really really pleased for her!
I am having my flat valued this evening, have to wait for B to get home and take me over there and Mum and Dad are popping over to do a couple of bits as well. Must remember to take some tea, coffee and milk over.
Since our weekend in Bristol B and I have decided that a 'dirty' weekend away would be a really nice idea so we are planning away, hopefully in the near future and within a couple of hours drive away. Can't wait!!
Went out for lunch with a friend today. She came and picked me up and we had a quick bite in town. I am now finding it more difficult to read without becoming distracted by the fuzzy bit to the left of my vision.... Still it was a nice lunch and I enjoyed catching up with A. She has had plenty to deal with over the last couple of years and things are finally sorting themselves out - I am really really pleased for her!
I am having my flat valued this evening, have to wait for B to get home and take me over there and Mum and Dad are popping over to do a couple of bits as well. Must remember to take some tea, coffee and milk over.
Since our weekend in Bristol B and I have decided that a 'dirty' weekend away would be a really nice idea so we are planning away, hopefully in the near future and within a couple of hours drive away. Can't wait!!
Friday, 21 September 2007
Together a bit!
Well since my last post I have pulled myself together a bit! Feeling much happier now although still tired and finding work hard. I am wondering whether I need some time off, I don't really want to but I think I might have to take a couple of weeks to myself, just to catch up!
I had a really good weekend in Bristol with B and B's parents. We had did the Bristol Bus Tour in the afternoon and then had a really nice dinner at a place called SevernShed. B raved about his meal so I guess it was really very good. I really enjoyed my dinner but for B to rave!! B's Mum seemed to like her presents and enjoyed her holiday so all in all a 60th Birthday success!! On the Sunday it was the Open Water Event which went well considering! About half the number of people turned up this year but that was to be expected after the July postponement. I was extremely tired afterwards and collapsed in a heap when I got home!
The injections are going well still, have had no problems with side effects or bad injection marks. My relapse is still hanging around, I can cope with the torso still its just annoying but my left eye is becoming a problem. I was single manned last night and had to split another crew so I didn't have to drive. This is one of the reasons I think I may need a week off........
As for work, I have had some good jobs recently and some fairly naff ones. Picked up a lady having an MI last night. She was absolutely fine the whole time she was with us. A little pale to begin with but on oxygen she started to pick up and her pain reduced. We took her straight to the hospital, where we were it wasn't worth waiting for a Paramedic, from arrival at scene to arrival at hospital it was 30 minutes, 36 minutes from call to hospital. Once we arrived at hospital they prepared to Thrombolyse, as they were putting the drug in our pt arrested, causing a major panic (not what I expect from a Cardiac Care Unit), I was asked (well screamed at) to put the crash bleep in, which I did, and after the arrival of a few more staff things started to look more organised and they managed to get a heart beat back.
I have no idea what the outcome was, we had to leave and get back to work. Unfortunately me being me I now wonder what I could have done quicker to get the pt in quicker. We were in the house just over 10 minutes, did the 12 - lead in the back and left, going very quickly, for the hospital.
Still, I will beat myself up for a day then sort myself out. Seem to spend most of my time trying to pull myself together at the moment, ah well, such is life!!
I had a really good weekend in Bristol with B and B's parents. We had did the Bristol Bus Tour in the afternoon and then had a really nice dinner at a place called SevernShed. B raved about his meal so I guess it was really very good. I really enjoyed my dinner but for B to rave!! B's Mum seemed to like her presents and enjoyed her holiday so all in all a 60th Birthday success!! On the Sunday it was the Open Water Event which went well considering! About half the number of people turned up this year but that was to be expected after the July postponement. I was extremely tired afterwards and collapsed in a heap when I got home!
The injections are going well still, have had no problems with side effects or bad injection marks. My relapse is still hanging around, I can cope with the torso still its just annoying but my left eye is becoming a problem. I was single manned last night and had to split another crew so I didn't have to drive. This is one of the reasons I think I may need a week off........
As for work, I have had some good jobs recently and some fairly naff ones. Picked up a lady having an MI last night. She was absolutely fine the whole time she was with us. A little pale to begin with but on oxygen she started to pick up and her pain reduced. We took her straight to the hospital, where we were it wasn't worth waiting for a Paramedic, from arrival at scene to arrival at hospital it was 30 minutes, 36 minutes from call to hospital. Once we arrived at hospital they prepared to Thrombolyse, as they were putting the drug in our pt arrested, causing a major panic (not what I expect from a Cardiac Care Unit), I was asked (well screamed at) to put the crash bleep in, which I did, and after the arrival of a few more staff things started to look more organised and they managed to get a heart beat back.
I have no idea what the outcome was, we had to leave and get back to work. Unfortunately me being me I now wonder what I could have done quicker to get the pt in quicker. We were in the house just over 10 minutes, did the 12 - lead in the back and left, going very quickly, for the hospital.
Still, I will beat myself up for a day then sort myself out. Seem to spend most of my time trying to pull myself together at the moment, ah well, such is life!!
Sunday, 2 September 2007
Now on 22!
Well I have been on Rebif, 22 for a week now. I have had no problems that I can attribute to the drug, which is great. I didn't sleep well Monday night but I can't put my finger on why, and I felt ill on Wed, but again I can't put my finger on what was wrong. No problems Wed night and no problems Fri night. I actually injected at work Fri night and worked the remaining 9 hours of my shift without a problem - really hope this continues with the 44!
On the down side I appear to be relapsing again. The left side of my torso is numb between my breast and navel. I didn't expect it so soon after the last one finished but I guess the timescales are right. I am just keeping my fingers crossed that the Rebif helps slow them down. I felt pretty bad once I realsised I was numb again. Found it a little 'depressing' and it hit home that yes it is going to keep happening, nothing I can do about it, other than try to keep healthy and take the drugs. I have MS.......
Work is good, I am on my 3rd night shift and surviving! Was on my own Fri night, first time in a long time. Quite enjoyed it really, although I was bored. Still D has been back for these last 2 nights. We are back on our rota on Mon for 2 weeks which will be nice, then over to Windsor for 2 weeks. It is working out well though as I have a couple of extra weekends off! Woo hoo!!
On the down side I appear to be relapsing again. The left side of my torso is numb between my breast and navel. I didn't expect it so soon after the last one finished but I guess the timescales are right. I am just keeping my fingers crossed that the Rebif helps slow them down. I felt pretty bad once I realsised I was numb again. Found it a little 'depressing' and it hit home that yes it is going to keep happening, nothing I can do about it, other than try to keep healthy and take the drugs. I have MS.......
Work is good, I am on my 3rd night shift and surviving! Was on my own Fri night, first time in a long time. Quite enjoyed it really, although I was bored. Still D has been back for these last 2 nights. We are back on our rota on Mon for 2 weeks which will be nice, then over to Windsor for 2 weeks. It is working out well though as I have a couple of extra weekends off! Woo hoo!!
Monday, 20 August 2007
Getting back to normality??
Its been a while since my last post as life seems to have got in the way - which is great!! Work and life in general seems to be getting back to how it was. I have been tired but nothing I can't cope with.
Work has been really good. I was in Slough last week and had a few good jobs, did my second cardiac arrest since coming back to work on Saturday morning - was one of the smoothest arrests I have ever been to mainly due the guys who worked there being really very helpful!
It started out as a chest pain with a description that led me to believe that the guy MIGHT be ill. Having said that I very rarely go out to chest pain patients who have simple easy cardiac chest pain symptoms and therefore there is very rarely anything wrong with them. We were going to a concrete building materials depot.
When we arrived we were calmly waved through to the warehouse area and met by a chap who gave me a brief run down of what had happened. He told me that the gentleman had been feeling fine when he got to work, he then started complaining of chest pain, vomited and collapsed. Very calmly he said 'he's now unconscious'. So I thought ok, he is probably ill then. As we went round a corner I saw a man doing chest compressions on another man. Due to the lack of urgency from anyone I hadn't been expecting this..... I turned to S and said, 'they are jumping up and down on his chest', to which S then went to get the defib. I got to the pt and assessed him. He had definitely arrested, half an hour after the start of our shift....... S returned and I confirmed the arrest to him.
We did all our bits and pieces, attached the defib, CPR, initial airways, phoned for a Paramedic and S then went for the stretcher. The guys that worked at the place were great. The first aider was doing CPR (we even got a PEA rhythm for a bit) and about four others help with lifting the pt and getting him to the ambulance. The first aider was even going to come with us! I thanked him profusely when we let him out and got the Paramedic who had just arrived, in.
All in all this chap had the best chance. Immediate chest compressions, quick ambulance response and ALS on route to hospital. In the end it wasn't enough and his family in India lost a Son, Husband and Father. I suspect a massive heart attack killed him pretty much then and there but we tried.
Otherwise I have been to three diabetic hypos in four days and a couple of minor injuries. I have had some really good crew mates as well, which makes all the difference.
I worked an overtime shift today and start on my rota line with D tomorrow, although we are having to go to Maidenhead. Not sure how they decided on that. Put two people on a response car, makes a lot of sense...... We are now picking up an ambulance at Bracknell and driving over to Maidenhead once we are ready. That is not going to go down well with the crew and responder over there I guess, but I didn't ask, our station manager told us that is what we are going to do. I guess we will see what happens over the next couple of weeks........
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