Sunday, 7 September 2008

Admitting

I need help. In so many ways, at the moment, I need help. It's an interesting concept especially when I count myself as very resilient, mildly effected by MS and very lucky in so many ways. But at the moment it sometimes feels all too much.

I noticed the week before last that I was getting very tearful very easily but put that down to the fact that as normal my mood had dropped with the onset of a relapse. As the week went on I realised it was worse than it was than last time and that I was worrying about how much I was moaning about it all to B, making me more tearful. I contacted my MS Nurse about the relapse and the tearfulness and she provided me with the number of a counselor from the local MS therapy centre. I am hoping that all I need is someone to talk to as I am feeling fine some of the time and am seeing her next week for a chat.

I am finding it hard to get things done at the moment so am worrying about things not being done (viscious circle....). I needed to get fliers out for an event I have been helping to organise and that was worrying me, I needed to get save the date cards printed and sent out for the wedding and there is always so much that needs doing around the house....... So I decided to take stock and following a conversation with my parents I have ordered all the wedding invitations including the save the date cards. I did the fliers in stages and B and I have decided not to buy anything else that needs actioning for the house so I don't feel bad about it not being done.

I was really not enjoying my job which was not helping - that has improved grately over the last week as I have my own work to do now so fingers crossed that won't be a big problem for the time being.

So, although I am not as good as I'd like to be I am taking steps in the right direction. The hardest part of all this was realising that actually what I was feeling wasn't right and that I could do with some help to help me get some perspective on things and to make sure I don't get myself into a proper pickle without realising it. I never thought I would need help. I am strong, I bounce back - and I will again - just with a little help (nearly broke into a Beatles song then.....!!!!) :o)

2 comments:

Anne said...

Hi Victoria:

Ahem, there are two of you now - living in the house. Delegate!!!

You are not responsible for everything to do with the wedding. Delegate!!!

I think you will find yourself in a much better mindset if you share ALL of the responsibilities of the house and the wedding plans.

It might even make your job look more appealing so you can approach it as something you "need to do" daily.

Anything else that is not a "need" - put it off till you are better.

Good job on getting going on the plans for wedding, but seriously HE should be helping you with some of it.

Just some friendly advice,
Love, Anne

Anne said...

Usually parents help out with weddings. Are your parents and B's still alive? Are you in touch with them - i.e. are they coming to the wedding?

If yes to any of the above, maybe letting them help out a little would be nice - not only to help you - but also to make them feel part of the festivities.

Regarding migraines, have you noticed any connection between drinking alcohol and the migraines? If not, maybe keeping a migraine diary would be a good idea. You can note in the margins anytime you indulge so you can see if there is any correlation.

I am glad to see you are "admitting" that you need help. That's the first step. Now ask for it. Blogging is helpful for your mind, but close friends and family can be helpful so your body doesn't get worn out.

Let people help you because deep down, they really want to. Give explicit directions so it gets done right the first time and you don't have to go do things over.

I know I read when you wedding date is, but so I don't have to read over all your blog, when is it?? LOL

I am leaving on vacation on Sunday to Canada until next Saturday. Will catch up when I get home.

Love,
Anne

geez, I sound like your mother!!! Don't mean to, just friendly unsolicited advice! LOL