Blimey, it's been over a month! Bad me!!

Since my last post what has happened?? Not a lot! I have had a mild flare of symptoms with the cold weather - usual sensory change in my legs so no bother and I have been on 3 Christmas meals!

Our first Christmas meal was on the 1st December - nice early start!! It was the pub quiz Christmas meal so dinner then a quiz! Considering the price Weatherspoons did a really good job! The second was my band Christmas lunch - this was at the Best Western Reading Moat House - it was the best Christmas meal (out) that I have ever had! The food was well cooked, was hot and was tasty!! Very good value for money as well at £15 for 3 courses!

The final meal was yesterday and was my work Christmas lunch - again, very nice for the price! I chickened out and left early as I had been told of snow in the Reading area and it was also reported to be the evening of the big Christmas get away so didn't want to get stuck. I think a few people were out late though!

Today it is snowing - I am supposed to be playing in Christmas Concerts today and am waiting to hear if they are going ahead. At the moment I would head out but as it has just got heavier again I will wait and see before I commit! Will do my best to go if they decide that it is going to go ahead.

Pub Quiz

I went to the local Wednesday Weatherspoons pub quiz last night. I hadn't been before as I had always felt too tired. Now as part of my new regime I have decided to add it into my routine. It isn't every week so should be easy!

One of the regular pub quiz goers is our friend with MS - I think it will take some time before we get used to talking to each other about it. I think I am a lot happier to talk about it than her and I need to remember that.

I don't think I had mentioned my renewed fish tank enthusiasm? Well, we have new residents in the quarantine tank who should be moving into their new home on Saturday. I will then go to the fish shop and purchase some more new fish. Can't wait for it to be back up to full strength again!

Appointment

I went for my MS Nurse appointment this afternoon. My usual nurse is on maternity leave so I expected to see her cover, however I saw the other MS Nurse who I have only ever seen at MS Society information evenings. She was really nice, although I am looking forward to seeing my usual nurse when she gets back in January.

We discussed my bowels and I have to write a food and drink diary and go back in a month or so to discuss it. I most definitely will damage my bowels if I strain on a regular basis, oops..... We also talked about my numbish face and she reminded me to keep them informed of exacerbations/relapses so they can monitor my response to the Rebif. Oh and blood test due in December - lucky me!

Bean

We have a new Cats Protection lodger! Bean is a slightly lardy, long haired, cocoa coloured male and is extremely friendly! I named him Bean as he is the spitting image of my Mum's cat Cocoa only somewhat larger!

Bean was being looked after as a stray for approx 7 weeks before he came to CP. He is about 8 years old, give or take and was in pretty good nick. He had a few mats of fur, very dirty ears and a tick.....yes a tick, very icky......

Bean is an entire male and needs to be neutered and micro-chipped before he can be re-homed so we will have him for a couple of weeks at least. He is out in our new CP provided pen and seems to be happy enough. The pen has heating tubes and a comfortable bed so a trade off with freedom. We have a little water leaking in to the pen from the underneath but we are working on that.

On a change of tack, my current relapse has not really changed. I still have the change in sensation to the left side of my face and gums but nothing more.

My plan is taking shape, I am managing to go to bed around 10pm most nights and cope all week which is great! I am playing my clarinet, well I am playing a loaned clarinet as mine is in for service - pad fell off at rehearsal and is therefore unplayable.... Took it into Dawkes today and they don't think it is as bad as I had imagined so I hope to have it back by Thursday. I have also lost 5.5 pounds over 2 weeks which is a good start to the new diet - Slimming World. I have yet to go into the local Sports Centre to get a price list and timetable - must do so soon......

Oh, I came across this blog on the BBC website - Tor - Past the Point of No Return - and felt it deserved a read. Tor has Cystic Fibrosis and has been waiting for a double lung transplant since July 2007, she is now 23. Tor is trying to highlight the need for people to sign the Organ Donor register if they are happy to donate their organs on their death, rather than doing nothing. Have a look, sign up, it takes 2 minutes.

What constitutes a relapse......?

......one of those regular questions on MS message boards. A bit like my 'what is fatigue' question I suppose. My neuro's thoughts at my last appointment were that when I have numbness I am experiencing memories of previous relapses rather than new inflammation - good no extra damage then.

I am assuming however that when brand new areas go numb I have a new area of inflammation. Disappointingly I guess I am now having a relapse, minor, but still new damage. I initially noticed numbness around my left eye Wednesday 29 September which extended to the left side of my nose over a few days and has gradually extended up to my hairline and down to my top lip and top gum. It is purely numbness, I can eat and purse my lips, although I have started to bite the inside of my mouth, so in general not bad, just annoying......

Having just come back from our holiday I am a little off of my plan in terms of sleep, but I am trying to keep to it and stay up. Last night I didn't feel well so went to bed early, but I think that has set me up to get back to the plan properly. Just need to set other things in motion - start playing my clarinet tonight, start Slimming World on Thursday (yes I know another diet, but at least I am trying) and pop into the local Leisure Centre for a Swimming Pool timetable and price list. Pretty sure there was something else I was going to do but I can't remember - it will come to me I am sure!

Next steps

Further to my last post I am already making changes, prompted a little by some news on Saturday. Someone I know was diagnosed with MS a couple of years ago, I found out on Saturday. Thinking back there have been a few things over the last 6 months or so that could have suggested an illness but only with the benefit of hindsight. She has really inspired me to make the changes I have been thinking about for some time. I almost feel a little inadequate and found myself justifying the way I deal with having MS. I know everyone is different and I have no intention of living my life the same way as her but she made me think properly about all those things that I have been meaning to do.

I am going to start a few things - playing my clarinet (already secured a trial with a band), regular swimming and, yes you guessed it, another diet!

I have started going to bed later - I know, considering my last post it may be considered a strange place to start, however I am pretty sure my sleep pattern is the key. Going to bed, watching 15 minutes of telly and then switching off seems to be a lot easier when I go to bed with B, not sure why as he adds to the noise in the room......! On injection nights I watch 30 mins of TV between injection and paracetamol and then switch off for sleep. So far so good, 10pm Sunday night and 11pm last night, although I was on a late this morning so had an extra hour in bed. I am feeling a little tired but also better than I have in the evening for a while!

Here's to the changes! :0)

So very tired......

I find it difficult to understand the difference between being tired and fatigued. Is there a difference or are they two different words for the same thing? Initially I always took fatigue to be a word which was associated with extreme tiredness, rather than just being a bit tired, but I am not really sure.

I would never describe myself at fatigued. I am always able to function, however much I would prefer to be lounging in bed! At the moment I feel more than my normal tiredness. Pre MS I used to go down the pub until midnight (not drinking) and get up to start work at 6am the next morning, not to say I wouldn't be tired, but it would take me one relaxing evening and a relatively early night to recover. Now, well I work in a much more sensible job but still need to be in bed by 10pm to get up at 6.40am, and 10pm really is the latest and can't be maintained comfortably all week.

I survive busy weekends by trying to be sensible as much as possible and then go to bed at 8pm for a couple of nights to try and catch up. Recently, well since the beginning of July, I have had runs of 2 or 3 weekends on the trot when the whole weekend is taken up with events which involve something to tire me out - driving, lifeguarding, organising/running events, drinking (alcohol), more travelling.

Now I know I don't help myself, I am overweight and get NO exercise, but that has been the same forever and things are progressively getting worse, or so it seems to me. I suppose the thing is that I don't really give myself a chance. I sleep badly through portions of the night fairly regularly, often sleep talking and walking and when I do get the chance to relax there is always too much to be done. I do spend time doing not a lot but I don't think that is enough. I need to sort out my sleep and I need to start getting some exercise - 2 things to start with anyway.

This weekend we are off to the CAMRA Ascot Beer Festival, held at Ascot Racecourse. It is a day time thing and will not be strenuous but I won't get a lie in and I suspect it will be a relatively late night (midnight latest though!). As I have felt shattered all week, even after showering which normally perks me up, I decided a lie in and an early finish was called for - so I took a half day. Got up an hour late, worked 3h 45m (ish) and have come home, had a nap and sat on the sofa (with a few light chores added for good measure!) - I am hoping to have a really fun day tomorrow and keep my eyes open!

I have a scheduled MS Nurse appointment at the beginning of November and I plan to take a note prompting me to ask about tiredness and sleep, also my bowels which have not been the same since the relapse I had in 2008 when I became constipated. It's not as though I am ever constipated any more but my bowels just don't seems to work properly. I am sure the stool takes too long to move along as my motions are always large and hard and I have to push, I never get the bowels doing the evacuation work themselves.......such a lovely subject!

Before anyone worries, this was a sudden change associated with a relapse in 2008 after which things almost got back to normal. Since then things have got gradually more noticeable, however I have no other bowel symptoms and given the length of time I am sure nothing more sinister is going on (oh and in no way is my weight reducing...) - I will ask my MS Nurse about it though.

On that lovely note I will end my post!

All gone......

All 4 of those lovely kittens have now gone to new homes. Jemima went to a colleague of mine, Misty went to a nice couple with a baby on the way and Freddie and Roxi, now Thomas and Baby, went to a lovely family with three very good children (that's about as nice as I can be about children...!). I have had updates about Jemima, Thomas and Baby and all seem to be getting on well.

After Whisky had the squits we thought we were home and dry, well no, Thomas developed sqitty poo's about 10 days after Whisky. We tried all the tricks the vet had told us for Pepsi only to decide and be advised that kittens really shouldn't be given any live yoghurt...... Jemima then went on to develop squitty poo as well...... We got some Pro-Kolin and Hills Prescription diet (Id) and within about 36 hours things were already improving! By the time they went to their new homes they had wonderful poos!!

In the interim we have had more fun with Whisky. What we think was an injury from his altercation back in August seems to have become bothersome and likely infected. Whisky managed to scratch it raw more or less over night so we took him to the vets and he now has anti-biotic drops and a buster collar on..... He is also not allowed out - he is miserable as sin........

Still, his head is much much better and we hope he will be out of the collar in the next few days. Speaking of collars, Pepsi came home without hers the other day....they are both chipped so it's not like they can't be identified but still, she needs to keep a better eye on her belongings...!!

Jemima Puddle Duck and Co.

From top to bottom, left to right: Roxi, Freddie (bit blurred but he was playing with camera string), Jemima and Misty.

Roxi and Freddie are brother and sister, approx 16 weeks old and Jemima and Misty are sisters approx 13 weeks.

They are now getting on fairly well but we still have the occasional hiss! So far I have contacted a couple of potential adopters so fingers crossed they go to their new homes soon!

Since my last post, a step by step story.....

A few things, mainly pet related have happened since my last post. On Sunday 15th Pepsi went off her food and hid in the garage for the day. Over night she had diarrhoea and vomited the small amount of food she had eaten over night. We contacted the vet on Monday and they suggested bland food and keeping her in for 24 hours. She started to look a lot better and was a lot better in herself so we thought she was getting there.

Wednesday 18th I was off to bed at 21:30 when Whisky came in. He has a gash under his eye, a very bloody eye and a bloody nose. I rang Vets Now, the local 24 hour vets and they advised that as it was his eye we should take him in. Well, £250 later he has had an anti-biotic injection and a pain killing injection and is on 2 eye drops.......

Whisky did really well, Pepsi continued to have diarrhoea and vomited a bit. On a couple of mornings I had accidents to clear up. When we took Whisky for his follow-up appointment at our vets they were pleased with him, we were to continue with the drops for a few more days but didn't need to take him again unless we were worried. We asked about Pepsi and they suggested something called Pro-Kolin to help bind her poo and add good bacteria. We think it worked, she has made it through the nights ever since, so fingers crossed.

So since then we have gone about routine as normal. We have our next kittens. We picked up 2 yesterday, brother and sister and another 2 today, sisters. There aren't exactly getting on but there have been no fisty cuffs! Photos to follow.

So this afternoon Whisky now seems to have something, or possibly to have eaten something that disagrees with him, a mouse, a bird, some form of vermin no doubt. He has vomited this evening and there was vomit outside this afternoon. There was also a squitty poo in the litter tray so who knows who did that....... So I will now spend my evening worrying about him. I am sure he will be fine, he has already managed to get out and over the 6ft fence so fingers crossed. Considering they haven't been ill since they were kittens they're doing well.......

The joys of cat ownership........

Quiet

All kittens have now gone to their new homes. After meeting the families collecting them I am more than happy that they will all lead charmed lives with their every want catered for! I was a bit sad to see them go, especially Charlie, but it's also a lot easier to move around the house without the fast moving kittens and there is also no clearing up of pee!! We still have to clean the room thoroughly - which I will do today - and I have said we'll be ready for more tomorrow.

We went to look at a pen for the garden on Tuesday. It is quite big but will fit quite nicely at the end of the garden. We want to continue fostering but would really like to move it outside so hopefully we'll have a pen within the next few months!

Other than the fact I can't hear properly - think water went into my ear in the shower and won't come out - I am feeling quite tired at the moment. Not sure what that's all about...... Managing fine at work but home life is suffering a bit. I was in bed a 20:30 with a headache last night. Fell asleep snuggling on B and after he went back downstairs was asleep 10 mins later..... Ah well, hopefully that means I'll have a good day today and B is cooking a nice meal this evening so want to be good for that as well ;0)

Oh, nearly forgot, we have raised mass murderers, after Whisky's exploits at the weekend Pepsi took up the mantle on Wednesday morning. Fortunately I had already gone to work but B noticed she was making a lot of noise when he was in the bathroom, stuck his head out of the window and she was on the door step with a bird in her mouth...... Thursday morning B was in the kitchen and she wandered in with a bluetit in her mouth...... Where did we go wrong....??!!

Kittens

Three of the four terrors....! The one at the front is Mali (Beta), the one at the back is Myrtle (Alpha) and the one eating my finger is Charlie. Charlie is going to be homed with my colleague who happens to like the name Charlie!

They are definitely cute but I am now starting to look forward to them going to their homes..... One of them, I think I know which, has decided they don't like the litter we are provided with and will therefore not use it...... I have been clearing up puddles of pee at least once a day since Friday..... We had had a couple of incidents prior to Friday but it then started happening all the time. No poo found where it shouldn't be, yet. They were due their first vaccinations this evening but due to a staff incident (bereavement at a guess) we have been moved to tomorrow instead. The first two (Mali and Myrtle) will still be going to their homes as planned assuming they don't have a problem with the vaccine and Charlie and Maisey (Delta) weren't going until later in the week anyway.

Moving on to an older, murderous, Ripper like cat...... Whisky kindly brought me a live bird Sunday morning. I got the bird and placed it in a quiet box in the kitchen, where it died. Around 2pm Whisky brought another live bird. I rescued this bird around 3 times over the course of the day until Whisky eventually killed it. I didn't have a good day yesterday, found the bird slaughter quite upsetting really...... Still Whisky is designed to do that, doesn't mean I have to like it though.

Can't believe the lot at the top of the page might/probably will turn in to killers......!!

Shiny New Design

For the first time since I started my blog it has been given a revamp! Courtesy of Blogger and its new themes etc! I am quite pleased with the outcome but may tweak a little further - it is so easy!

Diets and Kittens

Slightly strange combination I accept, however they are both hot topics in my house. I am really struggling to get back on the diet. I have lost the half stone I put on on holiday and a couple more pounds - about 9lb in total over the last 2.5 weeks. I just wish I could get back to it properly...... just so many things happening at the weekends and no real will not to eat the nice food..... :0( Well, I'll keep plodding on and try to get back to it properly at some point, in the meantime I need to find a balance so I don't make myself ill going back and forth - going on and off the Cambridge Weight Plan gives me headaches......

Now for the kittens; we have 4 Cats Protection kittens - they will be 9 weeks old on the 8 August and are cute, cute, cute and more cute!! They don't have official names as yet. The 2 in the pink bed are Beta and Delta and the 2 on the white fleece are Alpha and Charlie. Alpha and Beta are off to a home together in a few weeks and Delta is off to another home. Charlie may be homed with a colleague of mine but we are waiting on another Cats Protection branch.

It's lovely having kittens, I do, of course, want to keep them all but I know I can't. It is funny how big Whisky and Pepsi look - I am thinking they need to loose a few pounds just like their owners.....!! Whisky met the kittens briefly - they are quick little buggers - and there was hissing on both sides - think Whisky may have wanted to eat them!!!

Back on the diet.....

......nuff said!

29

How did that happen...?? I turned 29 at the beginning of June. I don't mind birthdays but I don't like the 9..... Still, one year older and wiser (well maybe....!!).

We had a take away on my birthday and went to see Bon Jovi at the O2 on Friday night - treat for me! We also stayed in town and had a mooch around Oxford Street and Covent Garden on the Saturday. One thing to mention, we got the Thames Clipper to and from the O2 - they couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery. Nightmare getting home - they filled the boat we were booked on and then we didn't get on a boat until 35 mins later at which point we had missed all the tubes and had to get a taxi back to our hotel. Will be writing a complaint letter......

Annual Review

I had my annual review with my neuro on Thurs. My appointment was supposed to be at 15:30 and I eventually got in at 16:55 - a new low for my hospital - they are usually pretty good..... Apparently the ash cloud had caused my Cons' clinic to be cancelled a few weeks earlier and they had shoved a lot of them into the clinic I was booked into. Unsurprisingly this lead to the long delay and me not managing to get my bloods done on the day.

Anyway, I got in to see Weir, spent 10 mins explaining what had gone on since I last saw him, him doing the usual checking of reflexes, hoping etc and that was that. Still, he was pleased with me and thinks that although I am experiencing symptoms fairly regularly the fact that they remain sensory in the same areas means they are memories of previous relapses rather than new inflammatory relapses - bonus - my brain is not becoming more broken!

Weight update - Weight Watchers

Well I stopped the Cambridge Diet - I decided that I had had enough and wasn't doing it properly. I had a couple of weeks off, put on 5lb and decided to join Weight Watchers. I hove now lost 4.5lb of the 5lb I put on so things are back in the right direction!

Still plodding along!

Black Brush Algae (BBA)

Over the last couple of months I have noticed a layer of black hairy algae over certain plants - which has recently covered most things in the aquarium..... Through Google I have identified it as Black Brush Algae - which is apparently reasonably difficult to get rid of but is manageable with certain changes to my tank regime - actually having a regime would be a start.......

At the moment - I change water when I remember and feed once a day. I have light on for approx 10 hours a day and have an increasing % of live plants. I have sand substrate (making it difficult to get the poo off of the sand), bogwood and some 'plastic' ornaments. The tank is next to a window but the curtains are closed throughout the day (we don't have net up at the moment).

My 200L tank has: 5 Corydoras, 3 Zebra Loaches, 3 Coolie Loaches, 6 Zebra Danios, 6 Cherry Barbs, 8 Platys (2 fry), 6 male Guppies, 1 Bristlenose Plec and Trumpet Snails.

So, what to do about the algae - trying to take it all out is not, apparently, an effective way of removing it - it will grow back. So, back to Google for further assistance....!

It appears that the Siamese Flying Fox (or Siamese Algae Eater (SAE) enjoys eating this type of algae so the first thing I did yesterday was go out and buy some SAE fish. According to a stocking calculator I have plenty of space left for fish - especially as my filter is more than adequate for my tank - so I bought 3. They are now in quarantine for the next few days before going into the main tank.

My filter was overdue a rinse so I did that - found one of the Coolie Loaches when I poured the water over the garden (panic stations as the fish burrows.....) but managed to get him back and into the tank. Problem with the Coolie Loaches is that we rarely see them so I would have no idea if one had disappeared..... I also found some snails in my filter which is fine as it means they are still in there doing their bit but that the Loaches are also doing theirs!

I have trimmed all the plants back - some of them are very vigorous - and that has reduced the amount of algae and added the recommended dose of fertiliser. I have also taken out several artificial plants that were looking a bit ropey...... I have ordered Seachem Flourish Excel which will apparently help due to one of the chemicals in it. Increasing CO2 has also been recommended to help encourage plant growth - I have investigated CO2 injection and have ordered a tester to see whether I need to add it or whether my tank is ok.

It has also been suggested that too many water changes, even small ones, would not help. I should however try and be better at doing the small weekly water changes - for the sake of the fish apart from anything else.......

I am hoping my new fish, chemicals and better care will sort out my problem!

Foster cats

Both of our foster cats have now gone. Thelma was adopted mid April and Cindy was taken home by her new owners today. Both sets of adopters (couples) seemed really nice and I am happy both cats have gone to a good home. Neither wanted to go into their carriers to leave but then I think that is normal for cats!!

Having fostered our first cats we will definitely be fostering more - we are hoping to get a pen to fit in our garden but will continue to foster inside for the time being.

On a completely different tack - it is B and my first wedding anniversary tomorrow - time really does fly!!

Checking in

Thought I'd check in as I haven't said 'Hi' for a while!

B and I have just had a week off together doing not a lot! It has been great, although I spent most of the week recovering from a work do on the Friday evening....... I won an award at work - for going above and beyond (apparently - thought I was just doing my job) and as a result was invited to the 'Thank U' event. This year it was at the Wyndham Grand Chelsea Harbour Hotel and we were treated to a gala dinner and night stay. We also had a small bottle of Champagne and a box of Champagne chocolates in the room afterwards.

Needless to say I got 'quite' drunk courtesy of the free flowing Champagne prior to dinner and the free flowing wine during dinner..... One by one I located the Executive Committee of Unum UK, including our big chief and dragged them (sometimes literally) onto the dance floor. I think most of the Ex Co were a little worse for wear by the end of the night anyway so I am hoping they will have forgotten me by now!!

The hotel itself was really nice. It is an all suite hotel so we had huge rooms! Anyway, a good night seemed to be had by all and I thoroughly enjoyed myself!

Not much else to report at the moment. I have gone back to pre filled syringes of Rebif as the RebiSmart was a bit painful, unwieldy and more bulky when travelling. I'm sure some people love it, I prefer to inject manually. I did get a shiny new Rebiject as well, don't use that very often though.

Symptoms wise, rumbling along as usual at the moment. Seem to have settled down to a vaguely sensible level again!

How do you ground a cat??

This last week has been interesting. We had a lovely warm weekend so lots of planting got done - I even managed to get sunburned...... Anyway, we misplaced Pepsi. She went out Sunday morning and never came back. I didn't worry about her particularly before Monday evening when she still hadn't come back. B and I went for a walk around the many paths and roads in our area and found no trace of Pepsi - good in some ways, bad in others. I designed a 'missing' leaflet Monday evening and B put a couple up in the morning and then printed loads during the day.

We had to take Cindy to the vet Tuesday evening but when we got back we heard a cat. I followed the sound and it was coming from inside a garage kind of opposite our back gate. B then saw a nose and it was definitely Pepsi. We were so relived and the owner of the garage was in so we were able to get her then and there - she was hungry, what a surprise!!

Pepsi was then grounded for the evening and only went outside supervised!! I would have liked to ground her for longer but I don't think that would have gone down well.....!!

I spent a lot of time trying not to cry whilst she was gone - thinking the worst I guess - but we got her back and she is currently chilling out in the garden following tea.

Whisky, bless him, just moped around for 2 days. He doesn't like being on his own so was really missing his sister - he even hissed at her on her return, something I have never heard him do before..... Still they are getting along fine again.

Never thought owning a cat could be so stressful!

Cindy and Thelma

This is Thelma, she is approximately 4 months old but is diddy for her age (1.8kg). A real sweetie who now accepts cuddles and tummy tickling!

This is Cindy, she is approximately 1 year old and has a stumpy tail. She is lovely, always wants attention and loves a good stroke!

Cats Protection - Reading East, Wokingham and Bracknell always have cats that need a good home so go and have a look if you are in the area and thinking of getting a cat!

It's been a shock going back to looking after a kitten, and indoor cats. We have lots of wet food - which is messy - very pleased we moved onto dry food, and the litter. We are supplied with wood pellet non clumping litter by Cats Protection. I have to say I prefer clumping litter - we use World's Best for our tray - and I am struggling a little with how to use the wood pellet. On my third way of using it I think I have my preferred method. Put a thin layer of wood pellets (cm or so) on the bottom, remove waste and wood shavings as required and top up. Seem to use a lot less this way!

My other news is that my department have just been through a redundancy process. There are 30 of us at the Basingstoke site and 7 jobs needed to go. 1 person had just resigned and 1 person accepted a job in her secondment position so that meant 5 roles to go. We were told 2 weeks ago and had our first meetings. We have since been waiting for the result. Needless to say this period has been ever so slightly stressful and my MS hasn't settled down since it flared at the end of my cold - I am blaming that on the redundancy risk....... May or may not be a relapse, I will have to wait and see.

Anyway, the end of the story was that I am still in my job - relief. Unfortunately I was one of the last to be told (alphabetical by 1st name) and by the time I was called in I had pretty much decided I would be the 5th redundant role as 4 had already gone. It was a horrible feeling, yes the money would have been nice but having to get a new job, and quickly, scared me. I cried when I was told, which made my manager cry. I then pulled myself together before crying some more, and so on. I am assuming I was much more stressed about it than I thought I was..... Not the money side but the trying to find a job with MS in the background bit.... In the end I was told I could go home and did as I was not capable of doing any work and was spending my time trying not to cry. I felt really bad as there were people who lost their jobs (who had already gone on gardening leave) who hadn't been as emotional as me. I really don't know what happened..... Still, that bit is over now, just have the fall out next week and the rest of the changes to look forward to!

The wagon / House guests

So my temporary grip on the wagon Thursday morning lasted until Thursday evening....... All in all this week has been a total loss in terms of eating - have layered Viennese Whirls and Chips up over the last few days.... Well, may as well do a proper job of it.......!! I have managed to stick to it today so far. I have had a half tin of tuna with some paracetamol as I have my usual Cambridge headache. It could also be the cheesecake I had Saturday and Sunday evenings..... You get the idea!

The other exciting news is that we have our first house guests - Thelma and Cindy. Thelma and Cindy are rescue cats from Cats Protection who need new homes as their owner moved and couldn't take them. Thelma and Cindy lived with 9 other cats and had already spent some time with another fosterer before coming to us.

Cindy is around 1 year old, is all black apart from little white socks and has a little tail. Thelma is around 4 months and is black and white - very like Whisky, our male cat. The reason we now have Thelma and Cindy is that Thelma needs a bit more TLC and socialising than her previous house mates. She is a real cutie and you can see that she really wants to play - she is just too scared to at the moment. We have only had her in the house since Sunday afternoon but she is already getting braver and also very vocal! Cindy can be timid but enjoys a good stroke and has already decided our bed is very comfortable! Cindy and Thelma seem to get on very well even though they aren't sisters and are keeping each other company during the day.

Photo's to follow at some point!

Where has the wagon gone....?

It seems I have fallen off of the wagon...... I have just had enough of this diet at the moment. I have 'eaten' nothing but Cambridge Weight Plan meals for nearly 5 months, give or take the odd meal, and I have had enough. Bored, want to chose food again, want to eat crap again. So I have. I am feeling quite good at the moment, but I am sure I will be disappointed later.

B and I had a really nice dinner Saturday night for his birthday and since then, well I haven't eaten loads, but I have had a few biscuits and a can of coke zero. Today I went to Waitrose for stock cubes and bought a small Galaxy bar, packet of kettle chips and a blueberry muffin - all of which I have consumed - and I also have a couple of beers. Definitely off of the wagon! I am going to attempt to get back on it again tomorrow but with a tweek up to the SS+/810 calorie plans as I am loosing the will to stick to it so I can cope with slightly slower weight loss and slightly more food!!

So what else in my world. I had a cold last week, unusually it lasted Monday to Friday rather than going over a weekend. Since my cold got better my legs have become gradually more numb, it started in both of my lower legs and has moved upwards. My right leg is now worse and feels stiff, just without the stiff pain. My left leg is ok, just altered sensation (ok, more altered than usual) and it has now moved up to the left side of my torso as well. My bum etc is also a bit more numb than usual, as appears to be the way...... Alongside the increased numbness/change in sensation I am feeling more tired - I guess it is more than normal tiredness as I am feeling pretty rough in the mornings again.

I am just hoping it is because of my cold and is just an exacerbation rather than an actual relapse. It may all be sensory but it is still really f**&^%g annoying!!

Weigh in today

Lost another 4lb, was hoping for another 1lb but I'm happy enough!

That leaves me 4lb to get to 4 stone off, was hoping to get there by the end of Feb but that is unlikely now. I have a weekend of eating ahead of me so I am not expecting a large loss so will have to settle for reaching 4 stone on the 8 March, hopefully and 5 stone by the end of March - I do set myself up don't I!

Rebif wise - things have been going well, no more bad reactions - phew!

RebiSmart

So, the new RebiSmart. The nurse, sponsored by Merck Serono was late. She was however given the wrong address so I'll forgive some of the time!

She went through the use of the machine, fairly self explanatory and the machine provides instructions along the way as well. She also went over the injection sites with me - I was either told slightly wrong initially or I remember wrong - not ruling out either - so that was useful. I think she wanted to go into Rebif and what it does but I felt no need to go over that again.

I injected with the machine around 4pm and it was easy and fairly comfortable. There are several adjustments you can make for your own comfort so I will be gradually changing one thing a week to see what suits me best. I have been advised by the nurse that I have access to her support for an initial 3 month period and after that we can discuss what further support I want/need. My guess is I won't need to speak to her from one week to the next - big fan of managing myself!

I used the injector Wednesday night - into my thigh - and then had the worst night ever. I had all the flu-like symptoms, shivering so hard all my muscles and joints ached in the morning, couldn't sleep and had a horrendous headache. By the time I got up to shower and go to work I felt dreadful and wanted to cry. I managed to shower but then needed to sit down between showering and cleaning my teeth. B was fairly adamant that I didn't try and go to work given the 3 hours broken sleep I had had and by the time I had tried to get ready for work I agreed...... So a day off work, presumably as a result of the Rebif, 2.5 years after starting it. Weird.

I contacted the Rebif nurse and she wasn't really sure but thought it may be the fact that it was delivered properly. I think it was because I normally inject straight out of the fridge and Wednesday night it was warm - just a thought anyway. Last night I injected out of the fridge and took some extra ibuprofen. No problems, slept well and felt fine this morning. Who knows, extra pain relief or straight out of the fridge??

Given my bad day Thursday and not great day Friday I have eaten a 'few' chocolates. Got on the scales this morning and seem to have put on some weight since Wednesday - water retention at a guess...... Having chicken and cabbage (nicer than it sounds) tonight for dinner but other than that meal I need to be 100% to get rid of the water. Just 8lb to go to my first goal - must focus!

In the eternal words of Victor Meldrew....

I don't believe it! Apparently I have lost another 4lb! Now I was weighed before lunch so I guess that would be a pounds worth, but I am chuffed given I only got into gear on Thursday.

I haven't been doing it 100% for a couple of weeks hence the more steady losses, however I want to get this next stone off by the 28 February, therefore I flipped the switch and got back on the wagon - lets hope I can stay there!

Got my RebiSmart training this afternoon - I will let you know how it goes....

Go me!

I have now officially lost just over 3 stone since 20 October 2009. I am well chuffed! Just another 3 1/2 to go!!

Unofficially.....

...... I have now lost over 3 stone!

Have a meeting tonight so am going to weigh in tomorrow but according to my scales (which I have tracked my weight loss on also) I have lost another 3lb, taking me to just over 3 stone lost!

Very exciting although not a great loss again - self control at the brewery was some what lacking......

I will confirm tomorrow.

It was all going so well

Another 2lb 10oz lost, and another some what bad week..... It was going soooo well until I went to Bracknell Lifesaving Club Christmas party Saturday night (we do it after as before is too hectic..). I had it all planned - we were told we would get the meat of our basket meal and help ourselves to chips and salad - my plan to just have salad and the meat. In the end they put the chips in the basket as well. I just started with 1 nice crispy chip and it went from there....... I had half my chips before I stopped Next, a bottle of Spitfire (beer) and then at home another beer and a bit of chocolate

I got back on the wagon Sunday and drank loads of water - I am lucky to have lost anything....!

I am going to try really hard to do well this week - got a brewery tour on Saturday - have to muster some self restraint!! I am also desperate to get to 3 stone lost - then I'll be on target for a stone in a month over Jan/Feb/March - I can do it!

Nothing interesting to report, life going on as normal....

Not so good.....

The last week was difficult in terms of eating. I have eaten all sorts of things, most of which aren't too bad, more the extra fat which is a problem..... I have eaten cheese, eggs, chicken and tuna, mainly, I also ate the unopened packet of Christmas tree chocolates - around 10 caramel bells.......

I lost another pound, which is another pound to add to the total, but I am a little disappointed in myself......

This week should be ok, so far I have been almost 100% (had a little cheese this evening) and although I have the Lifesaving Post Christmas party to go to I am not that worried as it is a basket meal for next to nothing - I am having Scampi, chips and salad - without the chips and only a few scampi! It's more about the social aspect rather than the dinner! Will be driving as well - I am almost saint like!!!!

I saw my MSN on Friday. As usual she was really nice, unusually she was heavily pregnant! As she goes on MAT leave in a couple of weeks she had another MS support nurse (MSSN) with her so she could have a bit of a handover - very sensible, not like the NHS at all.... MSSN seemed nice, she was very quiet, I have another appt in November so I am sure I will meet her properly then.

It was quite funny really, I had just told her (MSN) about my current ongoing symptoms, and adding that they were getting better, and she said, so since June (when I saw Cons) you would say you have had no relapses? I said, no, I would say I have had 2 relapses! She had forgotten about August but had the emails (don't blame her, must be many, many of us to remember) and hadn't twigged that what I was describing at the moment wasn't normal for me...... She said she would be interested to see what my Cons says in May as I am still having relapses - I think I am better thanks to Rebif and only have sensory relapses - so however much I moan and however irritating it is to have relapses I am forever grateful for the improvement I have had.

Nearly forgot, I will be getting to trial the new RebiSmart injecting device for a month - thought I may as well give it a shot. Apparently it helps reduce skin reactions and as my thighs tend to get very red and bruised it may help, you never know.

Weigh in - wow!

Lost another 5lb! That's 36lb in total - 2st 8lb. I didn't think I'd make it to 3 stone during January, especially given Christmas and New Year, oh and the left overs! Maybe I will!

I managed to get to work today, local roads were still a bit dicey but the main roads were ok, just very slow. We are forecast more snow tomorrow afternoon/evening into Wednesday - lets hope that doesn't mean another enforced day off work on Wednesday - I have too much work to do to stay at home!! Such a shame we are unable to work from home, apart from making phone calls I could do everything from the comfort of my sofa.

Oh, back to weight - I was told I need to buy smaller trousers today - I like it when people start to notice and say things like that!

Food, food, food.....

This last week has been hard work. There have been nibbles left around the house and I have been eating them...... Mainly chocolate, but 3 Hovis biscuits as well - all since Tuesday. I haven't had any meals or large amounts of food and am steering clear of carbs but am a little disappointed. It seems getting back onto the wagon isn't that easy!

I haven't been to work since the snow arrived in the Thames Valley, that is 3 days sat at home. I haven't been out at all until today when I tried to get the snow off my car in order to go to work - only to be told not to go to work by my team lead..... I have been a little bored and therefore finding it harder to resist things.... Anyway, I finished my cheese (goats) and we split the chocolates last night, therefore the only things left for me to snack on are Quorn, Tuna and Chicken which are all ok if my resolve falters.

As of today I am trying to SS only. I slipped at lunch and had a small piece of cooked chicken, however all I have had since then is Leek and Potato Soup and water.

Over Christmas and New Year I ate a few things which would not normally be considered safe for someone with a lactose intolerance, however I have not had any migraines, which has surprised me. I now plan to test whether my tolerance is a little higher than it was previously and have a normal shake. I am assuming I will not be able to have normal shakes all the time, but adding a couple a week would be nice.

It may be that the Propranolol I am taking daily has been preventing them, which would be great - but I am not going to push it!! The other thing is that perhaps my weight loss has helped reduce the migraines. It is a stretch as I have always been able to associate migraines with dairy intake, however coincidences do happen, just not sure they happen that often..... My weight may well have reduced the random ones though - I can only hope!

MS - still boring, still numb, getting occasional pain in my right hand, especially yesterday, still crap.....

Weight

Happy New Year to all!!!

Weigh in tonight, first since Christmas - 0.2lb on - so chuffed!!! I thought I had blown it, but maybe not!

MS wise my numbness has moved up a little to my waist and isn't getting any better - I am bored now and would like it to go away....... I am seeing my MSN on the 15th so I can moan to her - it helps!